it’s felt like forever since i was able to sit here with a clear mind and write something. i don’t have any happy resolutions for you, well any resolutions truth be told, so if you came over to check on that i can’t help JUST yet. what i can tell you is the overwhelming amount

this week hasn’t been entirely fun at all. i’ve been stressed and depressed and anxious and have this repeated notion that someone is reaching inside my chest to rip out my heart. i have been working more which is good i guess but as soon as the work is over then what do i get

i have never been at ease loving anyone. as evidenced by the fact that for the last four or five years the only man that has heard me make such a proclamation was my brother before this weekend. love makes me uncomfortable and i’m sure unstable to a certain degree. the flood of emotions not

if this is able to be believed i think i came home more confused than when i left. the time we spent together was great but there were some unforseen glitches that cut into that. i have been a whirling derbish of emotions as a result. just a few things now and i’ll be back

this may be one of those long flowery posts so if you keep reading you were warned. after more days apart than i care to be aware of right now we’ll be together soon. as i left wal-mart and headed home i got intensely calm. the worries of this week, this month, this extended separation

i must have fallen quite hard. this post may be long but i doubt it. my ex called tonight, with his wife on the phone lol, apparently he’s bared his soul to her again and is trying to work on his marriage again so we can’t be friends anymore again. okay i am really dying

that’s probably what most of my body has been thinking in reference to my brain but i’ve been thinking about it in reference to the comment boxes. have i gotten so dull and boring as to not warrant a comment or two a day (so not sobbing, really ignore me–i am being entirely melodramatic here)?

nothing of merit to report today. i went to work, did most of my paperwork, got added to a search committee and was given another supervisee. i got my oil changed. talked to some friends, mailed some valentine’s day cards (why are cards so pricey now–4 bucks to tell you i love in paper???), and