New Year, New Me? Not exactly…

I have been putting off writing this post for days.  Not sure why but I have found something else to do each time I sat down and conceived of it.  I got the new comforter washed so I could put it on my bed tomorrow.  I went to the gym a few times.  I cleaned my bedroom, organized things and tossed things away.  Seriously I found a new thing to do each time it was go time for this post–I’ve been playing much to my shame Kim Kardashian’s game, it’s actually fun and I’m hot so yeah there’s that lol.  I’m normally pretty introspective at the end of the year and lamenting the lack of something while trying to keep positive about things I do have.  I’m not there this year.  Like at all.  So let’s figure out where I am shall we?  Turns out I can kick butt if I really want to.  And by that I mean I can work, work out, learn to swim again, finally take control of my diet and my stress eating AND be a submissive woman at the same time. 

Work isn’t perfect.  It never will be but it’s pretty good.  And all of a sudden I got quite a few folks who went out of their way to tell me they appreciated what I did this fall and in general.  Tiny moments are all you need I swear.  I’m almost ready for when we start back up in the spring but for now work is still something I enjoy and am happy to show up at most of the time.

The working out was hit or miss sometimes this year.  Feast or famine depending on work, family stuff and general laziness.  I worked out almost twice as much as last year but I can do better.  By my pace at the end of the year it’s possible, barring injury and other stuff, that I could work out twice as much as I did this year.  It’s turning my body back into the one I used to know and not the one that camped out with me as I got progressively rounder.  No one seems to mind the round but me and honestly if I could just suck out some of the middle I’d be okay.  My goal isn’t to be rail thin.  For one, I never have been and I think I’d look weird.  Curves are good, I just want mine to be curvy and not wobbly lol.

Swimming is fun and I like it and I haven’t drowned so yeah enough said there.  Still working on breathing as I’m swimming but I can hold my breath quite a bit longer than I thought.

And food glorious food.  I love it I really do but I can admit I was eating as entertainment, to deal with mom stuff, deal with work stuff but not to really help me lose weight.  At least not at the same time as I was working out.  Pulling it together all at once has made a difference and that’s good but it also reminds me that when I work out I can eat a little worse than I should and not gain weight.  I don’t have time to be a lazy bum anymore.  40 is around the corner and my family’s health history does not bode well for long-term excess weight being on your body.  Plus I wanna be sexy when I take my next round of pinup photos lol.  Gotta look hot when I toot out the tushie and pose like I’m on the side of a WW2 bomber.

Submission is an interesting thing.  At least for me it can be very interesting.  I can ebb and flow in that state quite a bit more than I want.  While I am NEVER dominant, if I’m not engaged by someone truly at home in their dominance I can slip into a weird stasis point.  I’m not at all submissive, I’m just sort of a slug.  It can take a while to pull me back there and after going into a bit of a numb state after GN and I split I was just in a non reactive point.  This year I met several people who made me slip and slip hard into remembering that I am a submissive woman.  I enjoyed the reminder and now it’s time to push to the next stage whatever that is.

2014 was good, 2015 should be better.  There are no resolutions to make.  Just choices to keep making and improving upon.  Heck I might actually use that passport I got last year.  That would be kick ass.  How about you?

1 thought on “New Year, New Me? Not exactly…”

  1. Welcome to the 2015 RED zone then!

    You have been pushing right along. I am honored to have known you for all these months and enjoy the journey.

    Happy new year and enjoy to the fullest.

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