Frustration

Anyone who chooses to interact with other human beings knows there is a chance to be rejected.  Actually, more often than not people will just have no reaction to you whatsoever.  Indifference can be just as damaging as outright rejection but again it’s part of the deal if you are not holed up in the house ignoring all other stimuli beyond Netflix.  The last few days have been relatively calm and I have enjoyed the impending rush of the semester.  I’m not completely done preparing but things are closer to being in order than not.  Dinner has been good the last few days even though I somewhat modified the recipe and replaced the carrots with onions.  I’ve started writing again, I had been enjoying it even though feedback has been mixed at best sometimes when I’ve gotten it at all–except for my friends (love y’all).  Today I was contemplating working on the next part of the next story and got a much delayed rejection.  I know the editor was closing up loose ends so I don’t blame them but I kinda knew I wasn’t in the anthology considering its set to be released shortly and I hadn’t been contacted oh in September about it.  But it made me reevaluate the whole point of me writing.  Six submissions in the last year and not one has been picked up.  The editing service I hired, that then had some internal fracturing and dicked me around for the better part of three months, eventually said they couldn’t help me because I was beyond their comfort level with BDSM.  If I have a future audience at all it appears to be small and I don’t think any publisher anywhere will be interested in work with it.  I’m just wondering again if it’s time to let this one dream die.