if i can’t have You….

i have been quiet again huh? you would think it would be because i was studying and while i did crack the book from time to time that hasn’t preoccupied me enough to just disappear again. i think the day to day grind of Him being gone has started to get to me more than i thought it would. it probably doesn’t help that every few days some massive ambush or lovely/horrible stat has been tossed around about the number of soldiers that have died in the last 24/48/72 hours. i do a pretty good job of ignoring those things most of the time but the last week has been hard. i have really just wanted to crawl between His arms and be still for a while. i was antsy all day today too and that has made this sort of self-imposed hiatus even weirder. usually i try to keep in contact with more people that i like to distract myself but i have really wanted to ignore as many folks as i can. i want Him and i can’t have Him and that is not fun at all.

i can’t even revert to my old modus operandi of “you can be replaced” because i truly don’t believe that right now. there might be someone as interesting but it wouldn’t be Him. i probably sound like a whiny little brat and guess what i am lol. i want Him home for purely selfish reasons. oh well let me go study since i’m awake and not harassing Night Owl.

before i go though, is eddie murphy the most trifling new dad ever? you dumped the mother of your sixth child during her pregnancy and then denied that child and then refused to take a paternity test until you were forced to do so. i hope little angel iris gets to see a different side of you than we have seen lately cause right now you suck.

1 thought on “if i can’t have You….”

  1. ohhhhhhh trifling is putting it nicely. That man has lost ALL my respect.

    Please know you have been in my thoughts. Don’t stay away so long.

    His Mija

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