under the weather

hey folks not sure how long this will be. i am feeling kind of off today. while i normally try to catch a little more sleep every morning after my first alarm, this morning after i done everything but put on my pants and shoes i climbed back in bed again and had to fight to get out of bed so i could make it to work before my first client. i have had an on again off again headache since i woke up and right now it’s on and dull and achy. i feel very run down which is odd because i have been sleeping more than normal. now i’ve been having some strange dreams while i’ve been sleeping but i’ve been sleeping more.

speaking of which let me just say that i’m not eating before bed so that’s not it but over the last week i have dreamt that a pregnant friend (one who isn’t really pregnant right now by the way) went into labor in an icy parking lot and my mother rushed her to the hospital only to find out once everyone arrived that the baby was stillborn–that was last night’s gift to my psyche AND i dreamt that i woke up happy as a lark one day (what i wanted to use the word lark so sue me) and was talking to someone about Roaming Soldier that just stared at me. when i finally realized that they weren’t talking i asked them what the problem was and they were like baby i don’t know anyone named Roaming Soldier and neither do you. so i went on and on about him and they said the same thing. i called Night Owl and said the strangest thing happened and relayed the story to her and she was like well i do know someone named Twin Soldier (RS’s brother of course) but he doesn’t have a twin. i woke up after that and had grab all of my teddy bears before i could go back to sleep. aren’t those weird?

and following along with the weird tangent. i spoke to a friend last night that i hadn’t spoken to in a while. instead of it being a productive catch up session it turned into a “why would you agree to marry someone you barely know?” conversation. as apparently i’m supposed to be the level headed one that thinks through things carefully and only acts when i’m sure i’m headed the right direction she found my behavior odd at best and most assuredly questioned my judgement in all of this. to me all of those qualities should have gotten me a little bit of slack as far as i’m concerned as i have NEVER seriously considered spending my life with anyone as long as most of my friends have known me. truth be told i used to refer to boyfriends as my future ex husbands because i couldn’t fathom being married to anyone for any length of time. now the nifty thing about me is i tend to take everything in stride when i can. but this just got on my nerves. i didn’t say 2 days after Roaming Soldier gets home we are going to run off to the first minister we meet and get married. for one thing He’d be in a world of shit if we didn’t get married in a traditional Catholic ceremony and most importantly i think we both know that we have to spend time together before we could even imagine actually moving beyond thinking, “i want to marry this person who has changed my life in ways i never imagined.” so let me ask those of you who are still polite enough to pop by–am i somehow abnormal for recognizing Roaming Soldier as someone i could happily and would love to spend the rest of my life with? is it strange to just know this person had to bump into you in order for both of you to be happy at this time and in this place? if it is i’ll accept being strange but i want some feedback. i’ll probably not see it till i’m back in bed but i wanted to know.

see ya
red