really idle thoughts

i am typing this intially without a title which i rarely do. normally something is on my mind and i MUST share it in order to relieve some pent up stress resting on my brain. but today not so much. in 48 hours my mother will be away from my place for two whole BLESSFUL weeks. i can kill kittens, write Roaming Soldier, work on extraneous bullshit, and sleep in peace for FOURTEEN LOVERLY DAYS. wooo hooo, celebrate good times come on. lol okay so i’m happy about that. i’m happy about the dialogue i’ve been having about my writing as of late. folks apparently LOVE the kink that emanates from my brain. in a few months when school is OFFICIALLY done i will get back to piecing the collected ramblings together and shop them around maybe. i’ve already gotten offers for editing and representation from assorted friends lol we’ll see how that takes off.

really i’ve been distracted by Roaming Soldier. well not by Him but rather the lack of contact over the last week. i know He’s in the middle of the combat zone but this is the first time recently that we have gone that long without talking. instead of freaking out i’ve been trying to distract myself by doing things that He might like when He gets home or talking to friends and praying for strength not to kill my mother. to that end i found a bunch of stuff at illumniations.com that was marked half off and ordered a few sets of those and a wick cutter so i wasn’t doing that with my fingers or scissors that often cut into the wax. i have tons of candles but limited holders that i like. i bought each with a special idea in mind of where they might go and how they might be used. even though one set requires tea lights and literally i hate them but it was a nice design and only 5 bucks so i’ll suck it up. ok so a title came to me now lol. it’s up and let’s keep moving.

i miss Him. i miss blushing at Him and getting my dose of little girl. i miss thinking about wrapping my limbs around His limbs and dreaming of things together. it’s not that i can’t do these things right now. in fact my imagintion is just as vivid now as ever it’s just that i like talking to Him for new inspirations. as the rain sees fit to hit my apartment before i get there or visit another city all together i have been a bit deprived of external stimuli. i miss my Daddy, even though the kittens have still be dropping left and right lol it’s more out of frustration than just knowing how RS might opt to use me. again i know what i think might happen but as i demonstrated in the last story what we think we want isn’t always what we need or will get. i just want to feel Him close to me. i want to know what His breath feels like on the back of my neck as He sleeps soundly draped over my body. i want to know what sound He makes as He slides deep inside me for the first time and everytime after that. i want to know what His lips taste like first thing in the morning. loving Him is wonderful. i just wish He was home. okay enough for now. i’ll come back with something new and kinky soon.