does anyone remember that song? i used to love that song. it never occurred to me that i’d find out how true that was until much much later after hearing it. not because i hadn’t had sex by then, red was an early bloomer in all respects, but because there is a difference between having sex and making love. it’s a distinction that tends to get women in trouble because well for a minute there if penis is going into vagina it’s all about love. it would be great if that was always the case. that that insertion is all about connection and emotion and hearts bursting instead of loins on fire in need of release. i had sex a LOT before i made love. and i have to say it was at that moment i realized i was in love with the man in question. even the two of us had had sex before and good sex–mind numbing, ridiculous orgasm producing, lustful, toe curling sex–before that moment when time sorta stood still or so it seemed until that last sigh and moan escaped my lips and we fell into a sweaty lump of cuddle. lol yeah i know interesting description but there was a different level of intensity to that connection. yes penis still went into vagina but minds and emotions went with it for a change. well that’s not true minds were always involved as we were in a tiny battle of wills as to who would give in first so we would make it a point of thinking of things to make the other one whimper but i digress. i’m sure you are wondering what this has to do with now especially since Roaming Soldier is thousands of miles away and i am not the type of girl who’s head gets turned by any old average joe especially since i need a Dom esque man if i can’t get a full out Dom.
well here’s the thing. i’ve been oversleeping a lot lately. if my alarm goes off at all i don’t hear it. they are always nights that i go to bed early and feel rested when i wake up in the morning. the problem is i’m dead to the world because i’m lost in my dreams. dreams of Roaming Soldier and i are having the most blissful amazing intense moments in bed with one another. don’t get me wrong, the sex is oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODNESS. but it’s being with Him and feeling His hands trace my skin and His lips brush against mine and hearing Him laughing as He smiles down at me. yeah that’s what getting me caught up and refusing to acknowledge the rest of the world is waiting for me. while i would again much rather have Him home, each word exchanged, each kiss happily received through the digital world, each dream and shared thought is Him making love to me now and they are all wonderful. i stopped and looked at the first conversation we ever had a few days ago. it literally wasn’t that long ago but it seems like He has known me forever and has been waiting for me to just recognize i had been looking for Him. truthfully we could have met nearly five years ago had my graduate school choice been different but that whole timing thing would have bit us in the ass then. He was still married and happy and i would have never stepped over that line. instead we’re meeting now and we’re in a better space to receive one another. now i’m just waiting for the time to fly when He’s next to me.