oh gawd why am i awake

okay folks i am ot a morning person. i never have been and never will be. if i was up in the morning and happy it was because i didn’t go to sleep yet. every fiber of my being fights consciousness before 9 am and the sad part of it is i am usually in my office getting ready to see my first clients of the day then. i feel bad for anyone that sees me that early. i’m awake and i’m aware that they are talking but oh how i wish they were just ready to take a nap. anyhoo, so i’m awake and after having a pretty productive supervision session i am now here to beguile you with bawdy tales and lusty yearnings. there’s only one TINY problem there–nothing bawdy is going on in my life right now lol. the lusty stuff i’ll share shortly i’m sure but no real life blow by blows are happening right now. back to my “life” for a moment–it feels disjointed in a sense. i am very much enjoying Roaming Soldier and our connection. that is almost immediately tempered by thoughts of the Littlest Soldier hating my guts lol. okay i know it’s unlikely and she’s a sweet girl who has been relaying messages to me through Night Owl for the last day or so. and today her box of toys will arrive so we’ll see if i did good there. but i’m trying to enjoy the plans the grown ups are making will still trying to be polite to the small person that has been there long before i was even an idea let alone a reality for Roaming Soldier. at least i do that while i’m awake. my dreams are a totally different story. i’m not being a wicked stepmother or anything and i always see her with us but dreams are often the best case scenarios lol. the one that follows is no different. warning time–nothing is standing out now as brain melty but if after writing it something does crop up i’ll be back to ammend the warning. right now the scale is about a 1.0 and more than anything it will make you go awwwwwwwwwwww and you know how much i hate that.

it’s a simple dream. one i’ve probably been having for years and just wasn’t able to put a name to the person. Roaming Soldier and i are just relaxing at home. the kids are roaming around the house and children do. a ten year old girl is desperately trying to hide from a pair of inquisitive two year old boys and i am enjoying being still for five minutes. no one is screaming, no one needs anything and Daddy (lol) is surveying all of this from the spot on the sofa he has commandered. He pulls me close to him and i giggle (did i mention i’m not a giggler by the way) as i try to escape his grasp. it doesn’t work, it never does and we fall into a familar but highly enjoyable habit. He strokes my hair and i whisper that i couldn’t imagine being happier than i am at that moment. the calm is momentarily broken as children show up eager to be fed and the phone rings. He grabs the phone while i grab babies lol and everyone heads for the dinner table. He’s smiling at me and nods which means that was the call from the nice doctor woman to tell me we’re expecting again and surprise it’s more twins. now why she didn’t tell me that at the office i can’t explain i just know that’s what happened. oh and this set are girls so the hormonal balance in the household is jutting back over to estrogen lol. we both laugh, the kids are actually excited and we have dinner. phone calls to relatives and friends are made including my mother who is off on vacation somewhere lol. and after the kids have been put to bed and a warm bath of our own we discuss the fact that we aren’t having any more kids lol. well at least i discuss it and RS laughs at me. and i wake up as we drift off into a pleasant sleep.

lord my dreams are getting sappy.

talk to you all later

ps for anyone that is waiting for it lol the next installment of the cookie peddler will be up either today or tomorrow

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