no mush, just rambling

okay i really have no idea what i’m gonna say tonight. i’m not feeling particulary “mushy” today. i checked on Emperor as i tend to do to make sure that He is doing well. i ran around blogland. i attempted to make sure that my blog stocks were doing well (, it’s very addictive by the way) and i enjoyed a somewhat leisurely day with mom and my headache brought on by shopping with mom. i got a used copy of mr. and mrs. smith though so i’m happy. i’ll watch it sooner or later lol. i love angelina jolie because she is just so freaking indifferent to being liked by the world at large. i respect her for that. we spend entirely too much time worried what other people think of us. of course there are things we have to keep private for our own well being but it isn’t the same as making nice just to be loved.

i am missing my Emperor but it’s really just something i’m used to at this point. we speak when we both have time and the rest of the time i entertain you good people with my meandering mind. my mind is now all aflutter because i got the last piece of my fantasy scene arrived yesterday. i’m sure you are wondering what else are you waiting for you already told us of the other assorted gadgets lol. the nipple clamps showed up. the package looked pretty ordinary but my extra batteries were missing, only downside to shopping on ebay. they are horrible little bastards (i have to agree with taylor) but the vibration is ohhh so lovely. it would be nicer if they had a remote but the little twist controls are great too. i’m not sure what He is going to think of the scene but it will turn me into a gushing sub if it goes off without a hitch. that is of course in addition to the scene that is running along in my head with the fantasy one.

Master Enigma‘s “surprise” post revived a memory in my brain of a few conversations between Emperor and i. when we first started communicating about the lifestyle and how our vanilla worlds had collide with this one there was a common type of “scene” between us. a male intruder spies a comely young woman alone in her apartment. whatever he originally came for gets tossed aside as he plans to have his way with her. he overpowers her and she struggles against him. she is afraid and doesn’t know what he wants but begs for him not to hurt her. he plans on hurting her anyway but in a way they might both enjoy. he restrains her and strips her and fucks her into a happy place. they lie their panting and sighing and she kisses her attacker for playing along with her so well. the fact that we both shared the daydream and had acted it out more than once wasn’t the point. the fact that it never got as intense as it could was the point. with someone that understands the need to be pushed and taken into a place that is detrimental to some was most definitely the point. i would allow Him leeway with me that i wouldn’t give to anyone else and He knows that i want the pain that can accompany us REALLY getting into “character.” seeing Master Enigma’s play by play just reignited that itch in me lol. ahh the lovely feelings lol.

okay i better go. there’s a stiff hard one under my bed waiting on me.

love ya

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