okay so i’m feeling goofy this morning. does anyone remember those commercials from the late 80s/early 90s warning parents about all the mischef their children could be getting into just because they were unaware of their precise location? i do and i remember many a night i wanted to slap the television set. i am a teenager, of course i’m supposed to lie about where i’m going and who i’m going with. that’s what teenagers DO after all. and even with the advent of cellphones and enforceable curfews i was still able to escape my mothers watchful gaze more often than not.
so fast forward a decade and a half, i have a new parental type figure in my life–one that i happily tell what i’m doing and where i’m going if He were to ask. but He doesn’t lol. He knows where i’m supposed to be more often than not even if He doesn’t know what i am supposed to be doing during that time frame. Emperor just knows that i am generally well behaved and anything with the hint of jail time will be actively avoided. that is comforting on one level, that He trusts me enough not to be worried about any trivial flirtations on my part (and i am a huge flirt) or that i will fail to do something i am supposed to do. i am after all a very good girl lol. but i am still a girl/woman/whatever so of course my mind also periodically entertains the “well why doesn’t He ask me what i’m doing” question. there is absolutely no reason for all of that lol and i know that it’s just one of my typically girly moments but oh it’s annoying when it happens. not to mention it then makes me worry about what He is off doing for the exact same amount of time if not longer. i eventually get over that too but yeah that is more than annoying.
it makes me worry which makes me paranoid which makes me moody until that wave of calm washes over me and i feel better again. strangely enough it’s usually when i’m talking about Him but not meaning to that everything settles back down and i can function again. well function is overstating it. i still get things done, i may even be more productive then, but i guess i mean i can step back into the subverse with no stress. part of me things this would be entirely easier if i was closer to Him but then i worry about other things, constantly sore bottom and a slight ankle sprain come to mind, as part of that arrangement. it would be good for my psyche though. i hate thinking He needs me or something that i can give Him and we’re no where close to one another. at least if i was in town, He’d have the chance to say–“no pet, I don’t need anything tonight” or “be ready in an hour, I’m coming to kidnap you and you are going to like it.” ahh a girl can dream right lol. plus we haven’t talked about that in a while and in light of a recent change in His life He may not even want that anymore. yeah He probably does but as i am one of those right brained people i like the confirmation. oh well enough for the moment otherwise i’ll start telling you about this naughty dream i had that somehow involved us playing the stock market for sexual favors lol.
have a good one