I contemplated making this a string of Usher song quotes because I’ve been listening to him for the last hour or so, having a little concert and minding my business while dinner is chilling in the slow cooker. But legitimately I don’t have the brain power to do that right now. I had a flare with my HS and my body finally chilled out yesterday after a week of disturbing my sleep unless I was drugged up and timed it just right so that my body was in the pain relief stage for at least three hours. Lots of interrupted sleep which ain’t great sleep. More drama with mom like normal so I have shut down any and all things that require massive brain power. So Usher concert and dinner. There was a weird moment earlier because he was also trending on Twitter and it was related to his concert. Normal surprises and serenades but someone said Usher makes women feel good and I had to agree. We don’t think he’s about to sleep with 98 percent of us–most of us aren’t old enough, I am but I digress lol–but he gives you that inner giggle that women want when they are thinking about the man in their lives. And honestly when they are thinking about themselves in general. I love, to a ridiculous level, There Goes My Baby.
Y’all I started this almost a month ago and am just getting back around to finishing it. Partially, in addition to the aforementioned flare, it’s because I cut my finger while cooking and ended up needing a few stitches to stop it from bleeding. That was annoying and it’s just getting around to being mostly healed and not scabbed over to such a degree that my finger felt foreign. It shut down my kink exploration mentally as well. I had started reading or re-reading a few things that make me connect to the star crossed lover situation but as I am neither star crossed or feeling overly loved at the moment I was good with that too. Honestly, I’m still good with that. I’m not seeking attention at the moment. When I’m clear about what it is I’m wanting, men folks tend to give me bursts of themselves and then fade away. I was stuck on stupid with Dutch for a while waiting for him to return to the same level of energy he gave me initially. Did the same thing to a lesser extent with Good Nyte. I have no mental energy to keep doing that now. If we are vibing let’s vibe until we don’t. If we’re not vibing that’s cool too just be up front about it. It makes me think, in a roundabout way, about why I started this post with the title it has.
So yep was loving me some Usher. And his song Boyfriend kept playing in my head. I go wherever you go is part of the hook when he’s explaining to the young woman in question that if her man is looking for Usher then Usher can be found wherever she goes. In my happy submissive brain, it made sense too because for the right person I go down whatever twisted path, experience, dynamic they can create. I’m happy to do so. I have been able to pull back from folks that seem intriguing but don’t have the follow through I need in the moment though. I’m all about a good flirt but especially as I move closer to my next verjaardag I just want to enjoy myself without stress and aggravation. I’d love to be claimed and to follow the right dude. I’m also living my best life at the moment in some regards so I’m gonna have to enjoy the fuck out of that in the interim. It’s too late to start the concert up but I’m waiting to belt it out for someone–I go wherever you go.