i unfollowed my ex

i know you are probably wondering why that warrants being the title but it took a lot for me to click the button and to leave it clicked.  i know he was just living his best life but he was doing it without me which was annoying.  not every day but when it did bother me it could just fuck up my head for days.  my natural impulse was to reach out to him when i was thinking about him, hoping that we could be friends again, but i stopped doing that too.  i stopped doing that a while back but i had asked him to block me because i didn’t think i was strong enough to not peak in and wonder how he was doing.  and that’s not really his responsibility.  i was feeling things he did not/does not/will not so it was on me to adult my way out of a situation i walked into willingly i think.  i know that i was craving dominance when i met him.  he blew open my service impulses and i was thrilled.  if i believed in werewolf imprinting it would have been something like that.  like in all the ways i could crave being controlled he just did it for me.  and then life started lifing and he was gone.  the imprint wasn’t but he was gone.  and my energy had to break from that.  really break from that.  and if i am perfectly honest, part of me will always respond to him because he made me crave all the things he was offering.  but i don’t have to worry about it because he won’t reach out to me for literally any reason.  well maybe if i had knocked him up and left a human with him but that’s not possible so there’s no reason to get my hopes up.

beyond that, life is fine.  i’m busy at work, digging up money to support a trip and taking care of me.  reading more and enjoying doing nothing when i can.

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