This will be an odd post so if you aren’t up for that, totally okay. Just go ahead and find something labeled smut or kinky or maybe even violence. Yesterday I was chatting with GN about random things and as the night wore on I asked him something I had been wondering about. Do you think that you person A could be so invested in doing something with or to person B that person B would feel it on some level? I was expecting him to ask if I had been drinking but he did not lol. We had an interesting conversation about what I was thinking about at which point I shared that for years I have woken up feeling like someone slightly violent with a thick dick had split me open overnight. Like when I sat down it felt like my pussy was stretched and grabbing for whatever was no longer inside of me. Initially, I tried to think about what I had been dreaming of that might have sparked that feeling but usually it was nothing remotely sexual or kinky. Before we moved here, I used to think maybe I’m a whole new person when I sleep who goes out and just lets random men rail her overnight. The problem is I would have had to get up and clean up everything, park in the exact same place, put in just enough gas so I wasn’t suspicious, and somehow never run into these partners ever again. Since we’ve been here, there’s literally no way for me to get out of the house without tripping the alarm or the notification system that I was moving around unexpectedly in the middle of the night. The most recent occurrence was a few weeks ago but that’s also when I woke up with a small purple bruise on my arm. I thought it might be a burn but it never scabbed over and it didn’t sting to touch. It was just there one morning and took a while to fade. Let me give GN credit for not wondering what I was smoking but when I showed him the bruise he got more intrigued. It made me start thinking about two other things. The first being that for the last week I have not been able to orgasm at all. I could start up with the magic wand that would normally get me there in 5 minutes and 10 or 15 later not even close to cumming. Last night before bed I FINALLY came but it was a struggle. It took 15 minutes with the wand watching porn and that’s only after I ratcheted up the intensity. Annoying and it felt like something was blocking my happy times. The second thing was a book series by Anne Rice, The Mayfair Witches and their spectral lover Lasher. Apparently that’s called an incubus. A spirit or person that attaches themselves to you. Now I was intrigued because who would be bored enough to want to fuck the hell out of me indefinitely. Especially without us interacting. I feel great when I notice these episodes but also jealous that I wasn’t cum on, pissed on, able to swallow a dick, had my nipples suckled or the like. I love a nice girthy dick but I want to interact and exchange pleasure too. So dear readers, whomever you may be, what do you think?