I have been admittedly busy for the last few days so it shouldn’t have been a complete surprise that I slept hard last night and longer than I planned. Meetings at work, taking mom out for errands, making dinner, baking and making ice cream because we made it through the end of another month without murdering anyone. I forgot it was time for my massage as well so did that as well as finding out that someone had skimmed my debit card and gotten that money back. I chatted with GN a bit which helped clear up some things I think and reaffirmed my thought that whatever hold the Dutchman had on me was over and done with finally. Even though part of my brain would still like to hash out what happened, I’m not desperate for that or even really interested in figuring out how to make it happen. This just means my more recent D/s relationships ended like my vanilla relationships had. I enjoy being friends with my exes but it is definitely not required and I’m not more enlightened because I can do that sometimes. Life is just what it is. Back on topick lol.
I slept hard and didn’t wake up until almost 9 today which is late. My body normally does the it’s 7 and you need to pee routine but today I slept right on through that. My mom did too because she didn’t get up and start her breakfast ritual until after 8 this morning. When I finally woke up, I was still mid conversation with the folks in my dream. Which was actually the second part of the dream. I was in a small what I’d call a bakery at home. One that was popular with tourists in the city but had delicious bake goods. I cannot figure out if I was living there or if I was just on vacation myself because it felt like I was settled in and knew the owners but it’s a dream so whatever. I was trying to help a young blond woman select her goodies because she only spoke English, most things were written in French and Dutch (or German really it’s a dream so I can’t be certain beyond I could read them both), and it was a bit chaotic in the shop. As we were selecting a few filled cookies, a Black couple walked in and looked like they were ready for a hike somewhere who were also a bit confused. As we formed a little pod of American pseudo expats, a somewhat attractive white guy joined the Black woman and they started hugging. I quirked an eyebrow but was adopting the not my monkey not my circus mentality as I helped them order too. And then the Black man in the couple morphed into someone I had seen before I drifted off to sleep and pressed up against me with a very pronounced erection before grabbing my hips and asking what else was good there. It felt like we were about to drift into dangerous territory in the middle of this bake shop as he started tweaking one of my nipples and groping me. I woke up wet as hell and trying to explain the ever growing order to my shop owner friends. I’m gonna chalk this part of the dream to pornhub and masturbation because what the fuck lol.
The first part of the dream was equally weird given the headspace I’m in right now. I was in a cafe catching up with the Dutchman. We were discussing our current lives and why I thought things ended. He told me his thoughts and we were psuedo flirting but not really because I was still pretty convinced that what I wanted wouldn’t work between the two of us even if I was closer to him. That part of the dream faded out as I collected my things and he asked when I was heading home. I said that I was home now and he seemed surprised. So yeah maybe I was living in Europe at that point and the second part of the dream’s ending clouded what I remembered I was doing. My dreams may be showing me the next path forward. Who knows?