I’ve been busy as fuck lately. Lots of work, lots of driving, lots of taking care of mom and not a lot of much else. Saw some fun things, ate some good food–stir fry is my weakness–and touched base with an ex because I was in his neck of the woods. We didn’t say more than hey I’m in town and damn I’m busy but I’m okay with that too. As I told him when I reached out I didn’t expect to see him but didn’t want to hear that I didn’t even say hello when I was in town. The only reason to see him would have been to fuck for 20 or 30 minutes and then go back to sleep alone. Would have scratched an itch but not satisfied the kink need. I was thinking about it earlier and the only reason I think I ever consider sex with certain exes is I know how well they fill me up or hit certain pleasure points. This ex in particular is thick and stretches me out in all the best ways. I masturbated and went to sleep lol. He’s a good friend but the interaction and some light reading reminded me that I need both the thrill of a new partner in my life but also the joy of discovering how to make someone else’s knees buckle or where on their body I can suckle that makes them throw me on the bed and fuck me like I made them angry and the only to make up is to defile me. Ahhh I miss that. I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve reread a BDSM story several times because that Dom is accessible and attractive to me. I don’t think I’m going to be lucky enough to stumble into the right partner again. The men I meet now are not looking for one partner or a partner who fits my skill set and they have a variety of better suited options for them. I’m looking for the kind of man that sends chills up my spine, makes me cum in my panties when I think about him too hard, and who can ride the line between nurturing me and torturing me. Maybe I’m like a friend who kept thinking it was there was a thick dicked man in her future only to fall in love with a woman. That’s possible, I am attracted to women but my fantasies haven’t been able to shift over just yet. We’ll see. Ahh well, I just wanted to share out some thoughts before it got later and I got distracted again.