y’all it’s almost the year of the rabbit. this makes me happy because i was born in the year of the rabbit and really hadn’t thought about this birthday was a finished cycle of twelve. normally it means good things are on tap and you will be pleasantly surprised. i need a little of that. honestly i need a lot of that but i’ll take whatever i can get right now. i noticed over the last few months that my body has been keyed up. not in the stressed the hell out way but in the i’m horny as fuck and need someone to take the edge off. i almost reached out to a few exes when i was on the road to get my rocks off but i knew they weren’t going to get me over the hump. i need the edge of pain to really break through. i need the breath play and the spanking and the indentation of rope on my skin and being fucked so hard that i’m sore for days and the long slow strokes that make me whimper and the nut spilling out of my orifices because there’s just entirely too much of it and being flung on the shower floor while a hot stream of urine cascades down my body. i need to be a rag doll when it’s over. i need to sleep desperate to wake up and do it all over again because my only purpose is to serve the person that bruised me while he nurtured the deepest part of my psyche. i really miss that shit y’all. but i’m not losing my shit because i don’t have it right now. and i’m not entirely resigned that i’ll never have it again. it’s coming again. not sure when or why or if i’ll even be paying attention when it does. but if you see a random photo of fingers on my throat, don’t say shit. just smile for me.