i’m ridiculously tired of adulting

i logically know that things will be okay, even if it’s a struggle things will be okay.  i’m working on things with the new house that aren’t right and are frustrating my mother as a result.  that means i get frustrated as well.  we’ve had a few come to Jesus moments as of late and that is also frustrating and exhausting.  what i really want is curl up in my dominant’s lap while they stroke my hair and tell me to open wide.  like my eyes just legit hit a flutter after thinking i might be inhaling a dick while my partner plays in my hair.  i miss inhaling dick.  i miss people playing in my hair.  and i miss people getting tired of both of those things, shoving me face down and fucking me into a stupor while they fill me up or cover my body in their fluids.  i miss falling asleep half sticky and being woken up again by a dick in one of my orifices.  i miss being teased and tormented and talking and doing nothing.  i miss being touched by someone i care about and who i want to make happy.  i miss my old doms (a few anyway, especially the one that broke my brain) and that NRE.  i miss the feeling of a hand stroking up my spine and wax dripping all over my body and fire play and the sweet agony of nipple clamps being tugged on and tightened.  i miss screaming into a pillow or biting a shoulder or being on the verge of waking the neighbors.  i miss being claimed.  i miss so fucking much but i don’t miss being an adult at all.  paying bills, cooking dinner, doing the shopping and not cumming are fucking annoying.

prompt for today: what do people like about you? are those the same things you like about yourself?  i have no idea what people like about me honestly.  i think they like that i am reliable and smart and funny and if i say i’m going to do something that i try my best to make that thing happen.  they also probably like that i’m straightforward and open to new adventures.  i like most of those things.  i wish asking for what i need was on the list and taking care of myself more was on there too.

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