I heard the blog title in the car on the way home today. It was in the lyric from a new to me Andy Grammar song. It’s somewhat out of context BUT really does fit the prompt so here we go. What is your favorite scene from a book or movie that evoked a sense of your submission?
When I read this earlier I was dumbfounded because that whole adage of Your Kink is Not My Kink (YKINMK) popped into my head. Most kinky books don’t do a thing for me at all because it is all centered around acts that say “look I’m kinky” as opposed I’m submissive and enjoying this dynamic. The only time I’ve ever had a moment that resonated with me and was like ok fuck you are my people was when I read a few different books. The first I’ll talk about is Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan. I’m sure I said so at the time but I felt like Sophie and I were cut from the same high functioning textbook submissive cloth. It was comforting to not see a woman broken down and convinced to submit to some hulking man who whisked her away from her hum drum life. And the book didn’t necessarily have a neat and tidy ending which felt more genuine than some other books that I hadn’t finished or even the Story of O which everyone swears should awaken submission in most of us. I loved it and it made me feel at peace that I wasn’t even more abnormal than I had been feeling. So yeah book one just made me feel like I had company. And I must give credit to the Dutchman because I never would have known it existed had he not shared it with me.
Around the same time I read a series of short stories by Meg Silver and I can’t entirely say that keyed in on submission instead of let me provide voice to some of my kinkier thoughts. I won’t spoil it for those that haven’t read them yet but Fantasy Heights felt like a kinky BDSM version of Stepford and let me just say I was here for all of it. She got busy with real life and I don’t think the series ever resolved but what is out there is worth a gander.
Finally, let me just say I love me some Anne Rice. Her vampires mostly feel like they were Doms in the making and could have sucked my soul out at any point in time. However, her BDSM foray did nothing for me until the last book. She was writing under a pseudonym but she had been discovered well before I read the final book. She sent signed copies to people willing to write an honest review and I submitted my name because of course I would. Let me just say we interacted very briefly after and she is a lovely woman who was glad I picked up on what I’m about to share with you. The other stories I had skimmed through but they didn’t feel like home. Beauty’s Kingdom, written some thirty years after the last book in the original series, however was like this shit right here is everything. Instead of it being about acts and who can put what where, it was about a couple evolving in their dynamic and wanting to make each other happy in whatever ways that meant as they continued to deepen their connection. It was about the mental side of what it is that we do and yes that will lead to physical behaviors but it is not the sum total of that connection. I went and skimmed through the earlier ones to see if I had just not been in the right headspace and while that may have been part of it what I was missing was that firing of neurons that binds us to someone. While I will always make fun of the scene in Twilight where Jacob imprints on the offspring of the woman he had been lusting after for YEARS, a good mental connection is like imprinting. That person is so seared into your psyche that it hurts you to think of them leaving you and you may make compromises that you wouldn’t make otherwise to make sure they are happy. Nothing about Beauty or her love resembled anything about me or my love life but I felt seen and appreciated all the same. I’d be happy to chill out in Beauty’s Kingdom because I think I could learn a bit about aspects of service while simultaneously breaking down what that connection means to a thriving long term relationship.
So there you have it, lots of mental tie ins with some on fire kinky sex made me go yep I am in the right place but still need the right person to deliver me home.