randomness that is red

hey folks,

i’m going to bed after this but i wanted to post something before i went to bed.  i’ve been randomly horny for the last two weeks.  it has to be balanced against my sleep cycle because last night kittens wanted to die but my snoring wanted to commence immediately.  tonight i was cresting too long and just had to push myself over the edge.  the toy of choice was surprising but not as firm as i expected it to be.  made me think about if this is going to be perpetual and probably not.  inspiration is coming in peaks and valleys apparently.  the valleys around here much more deeper than i expected so don’t be surprised if we’re back to randomly discussing life as opposed abuse of my girly bits.  and maybe planning my next trip.

bye for now

Came back to add this after waking up and having a jarring conversation. When I choose to submit to someone it’s only after overcoming a ton of anxiety and fear that I may not be enough. The only thing I really need from my partner at that stage is consistency and to keep their word. The slow death of a dynamic throws me off for a long time and has nearly driven me from the lifestyle altogether more than once. I don’t want to keep repeating pointless patterns. If you don’t really want to be what you have presented yourself to be then please leave me alone. I’d appreciate it. Let my fantasy of who you could be overwhelm the reality of who you are. 

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