When I am muddling through things in my brain I tend to hear songs playing randomly. Kiss of Life by Sade was dominating for the last few days until I remembered the hook from one Amy’s songs.
“Although my pride is not easily disturbed, you sent me flying when you kicked me to the curb.”
To be clear this is not the ended of a new relationship just me processing through all of the emotions I need to so I can put one to bed permanently. Recognizing patterns here again and my need to beat up on myself when things don’t work out even when I had little to do with it not working out in the first place. That doesn’t mean I am blameless. Just that I was taking on some things that were not mine because that’s what my brain does when I feel unwanted. Clarity is a wonderful gift even if it does not erase the pain that was involved. I appreciate that I’m not sobbing uncontrollably like I did when things really felt over. But now it’s just kinda like meh, what can I do with all of this untapped emotion. I’m working on that now. I’m writing and I’m working and I’m minding my business. That’s all I can do right now. Now I’m about to go light my candles, and sip on something before I cuss out my permanent roommate.