i was dreaming when i wrote this

well not exactly. i was back in bed like i was yesterday trying to shake a nagging cough and sore throat. got better drugs and the coughing is clearing out whatever it is my body seems to have contracted but really don’t want to be sick again. i don’t enjoy it especially since no one is home to baby and take care of me the way i would appreciate at the moment. it hasn’t given me a chance to catch up on my random movie watching.

i just finished watching children of men which simultaneously had me very intrigued and scared out of my skull. i mean what really would we do if the random infertility that plagues us was more widespread and there was no cure for it? i’m not sure but if it ended up anything like this movie then i am going to opt for immediate cyanide because good lord this was a hot mess. don’t watch it if you are looking for a nice happy movie by the way. it’s a good movie to spark conversation but it’s not a happy movie. it can provide you with a bit of hope in a twisted way though. but again maybe that’s just me lol as i am strange. i’m going to rewatch another movie to figure out why i don’t like it. i seem to be one of the only people that doesn’t like it and i want to know if it’s cause i really do hate the plot or it’s because of the actor. i haven’t decided yet. after that i am going to watch my new movies from the disney movie club. 5 movies for 30 bucks–can’t beat that at all lol. especially since they were really like 2 bucks a pop for the first three and then discounted on the next two but still taking off one of the old pesky required movies to buy later.

let’s see other than that i started my clean out process of a few more things i need to address before i finish the filing away part of the move. i stumbled upon a lot of cards and letters and things related to my father that i have likely not touched since i put them in there. some made me smile, some made me cry, some made me wonder who are you and why can’t i picture your face. mostly though it made me think that i have been wonderfully blessed to have the friends i have and my father touched a lot of peoples’ lives. both of those things were good thoughts to have and hold onto. so i am and will play with the cards until tomorrow when i tuck them back away.

ahhh and two other things have come up as well. well potentially three or more but let’s go in order of my random thoughts. i think i am ready to start writing in earnest. that means i have ot start getting ready for folks to critique the smut i’ve written and help guide me in the best direction for the future–well without steering me too far off of my own smutty trajectory. i’ll let y’all know when and if any progress is made there. i hope to find out if i got the first hurdle of my licensure review done soon and if so then it’s back to study for one last test.

off tangent—i love judi dench and thandie newton. i’m always surprised by the roles they take and the way they twist those roles. the only thing that was mildly disappointing about this film for thandie is they somewhat oversexualize her (is that a word) but they never really use that hypersexual appearance for anything. she’s clearly manipulating nearly every man in this movie but there’s a level missing there. okay that could just be me because i’m horny again.

brings me to my last item for the moment. i have been going back and forth between gathering information and ideas on nice Catholic weddings and my own vision of this day to why exactly am i pondering this as He hasn’t even asked me to marry Him? each moment is distinct and neither is all that deep meaning i’m not bridezilla or anti-bride at either end. my brain is conflabulated every now and then. i love Him so deeply and can’t imagine not spending our lives together most days but other days i just want to fuck Him silly and avoid the chapel for as long as humanly possible. i think all of this just means that i need a nice good spanking lol. and i’ll leave you all with this picture below. i’m liking the suave british boys lately especially as they aren’t seeming all gangly and asexual lol. no offense to british boys but the ones that come to mind beyond actors are all thin rock stars. anyhoo have a good night.

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