anyone remember that skit on Saturday Night Life that had Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy? okay well that’s where i stole the title from. i have been thinking about a lot of different things as of late. some of which make perfect sense and some others which are just tangential and i understand that before i bring them up. i’m not sure how long this will be but if you get bored scroll to the post right under this and check out the sugasm links.
well first of all things are going pretty well. work isn’t kicking my butt too badly but i do need to finish some paperwork. i started the process to get my last professional hurdle conquered and yippee whenever that happens. the bills seem manageable for a while longer so that’s good as well. my mother is crazy but it’s a momentary flare up instead of those daily intrusions. her birthday is fast approaching as well but all she wants is an overpriced object i don’t want in the house. we’ll figure something out of course but until then i get to hear about us (my brother and i) being selfish little brats for not shelling out 2100 for a birthday gift.
i have been roaming blogland as is my want and i’m wondering if i’ll ever get to the point that i’m having these deep introspective conversations with myself about my submission. i mean really i can’t say i delve too deeply into it all that often. i am a sub, He is my Dom. i give more thought to how we are going to have that relationship with my mother’s prying eyes observing on one end and His ever growing daughter’s eyes observing on the other. i mean we won’t be able to have that nice lounging around in my collar or with the nipple clamps (evil evil bastard things they are) on days unless both the children and the mother have vacated the premises. while i have the capability of being a good quiet little girl, i don’t want to necessarily be gagged every time we want to play and the house isn’t empty. and even now as i’m having a free flowing thought i’m not getting into the nuts and bolts of what made this work for either of us. i’m thinking of the fun stuff–well fun for me anyway–that goes along with being His.
i’m not sure if we liked each other so naturally because we genuinely found one another stimulating as humans or we found each other so interesting because we both knew the other’s orientation. that’s a really long sentence i know but it wasn’t a typical chance meeting. i knew when we were introduced that He was a Dom that might be interested in having a new sub after a long hiatus. and well He knew upfront that i was a sub that had very recently left her former Dom. we didn’t discuss those roles for quite a while into our conversations–we started chatting several hours a night beginning with that very first evening. our flirting wasn’t as Dom and sub but more as single man being attracted to single woman. that extra layer was icing on the proverbial cake. the transition came easily enough and we did begin discussing what the other wanted and needed in a bdsm relationship. we aligned there as we had on other issues. He wanted a nice submissive girl with slave tendencies that was rather intelligent and that could handle a long-term relationship as well as His daughter. yippee for me i seemed to be all of those things otherwise there would be no point in moving forward. and i wanted an honest, kinky Dom who understood what i meant when i said i was looking for a “Daddy” type individual, that liked to push boundaries, keep a watchful eye over my brat moments and that wanted to do unspeakably devilish things to each and every inch of my flesh. who knew a girl could be that lucky lol?
He doesn’t demand much from me. there are a few things i do now that i only do because He has asked me to do so but even those aren’t terribly stress inducing. and one of them i’ve started to like as much as i’m sure He does. of course there always exist the possibility of more rules and demands coming forth but knowing Him as i do i can’t imagine them being ones that invoked a lot of stress in me. at one point i started thinking maybe i’m not doing something right because i wasn’t fearful of Roaming Soldier. He didn’t/doesn’t terrify me. i don’t think He wants to 90 percent of the time. the 10 percent He wants to do so i’m sure He will with no major problems there. of course there is some slack that has to be given because He’s been gone and i have really just been in supportive submissive role. when He’s been home for a while, i’ll revisit the whole depth of submission thing. until then be good and or be really good at being bad.