juxtaposition…….

……or why i shouldn’t roam the subverse late at night. today has been rather interesting. well i should say yesterday as it is currently five am. i did the good daughter thing and put in my monthly shopping day with mommy. not too painful and actually enjoyed most of it without getting annoyed. minor miracle there i swear. came home and while i got frustrated with my laptop for doing something weird, i just popped my aspirin and relaxed. we ate leftovers for dinner with no complaints–mind you they were leftovers from the lunch out but still it was a good thing. i missed Roaming Soldier initially but got my dose of Daddy in before He had to go back into the field. as soon as that was over i SHOULD have gone to bed. instead i played around on youtube and found a bunch of clips from sister act 1 and 2. they made me cry in the way that well sung songs can and made me miss church a bit. i haven’t been inside of one since my father died and no it wasn’t because of that i quit going. i do believe i just don’t think i have to be inside church to be heard. okay moving on from the youtube moments i played around on blogshares for a bit before roaming the subverse. now i visited a few pages i don’t normally and from there visited pages i don’t think i’ve visited AT ALL. i was taken through a variety of emotions from bewilderment to bemusement to oh hell no i don’t think so (what did you think i was gonna have another b for that?).

all in all it made me start thinking about what i post here and that for the last month or so i’ve been wondering why there were virtually no comments here about what was being posted. that was actually starting to frustrate me but hey it is what it is as i always say. i don’t tend to blog about our relationship in D/s terms unless you are reading the newest bit of smut for RS. when we were introduced it was clear that i was a sub and He was a Dom but that never seemed to dominate the focus of conversation early on. and i think i’ve mentioned this before but i really think i was the one that inquired about the palpable attraction being moved out of a vanilla sphere because well vanilla is good to slip into sometimes during a D/s relationship but i crave the D/s so i’m not sure a strictly vanilla situation would have worked for me. i don’t have to ponder that much though because He was receptive and very quickly it became apparent that we were very in tune with each other on this plane as well. so i think i never waxed and waned about the status of the relationship or what we were or what that would look like here. and i doubt i will now that i have come to this realization. we simply are together and understand one another and are good with that.

our lives are moving forward with other people in tow so some things we might have engaged in otherwise just don’t matter. He knows that whatever He asks of me i’ll do and i know He’ll never ask more than He thinks i can bear without breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. for instance i only have two rules really. both of which seem to have been tailored to me even though He claims that He has basically used them prior to now. do i believe Him? of course, He’s Daddy after all. would i ever check it out with a former sub? nope because they aren’t together because she broke the rules apparently lol. no need to seek out her advice on how to abide by either rule. i love that we feed one another, not literally but figuratively. and for those of you that have been watching the a different world marathon then yes that should seem familiar. dwayne in an effort to comfort a friend/love interest as another relationship was ending told her something to the effect that right relationship for you feeds you. we spend a lot of time putting time and energy into relationships, romantic and otherwise. we often end up exhausted if those relationships aren’t fueling us in return. He fuels me. He gives me the security and affection and basic communication to know that i am loved and appreciated. that in return fuels my desire to keep Him smiling and make His life easier and depend on Him when i need to but be strong enough to handle the other crap on my own for the time being. i’m getting fed again and it’s good.

hmmm maybe roaming wasn’t such a bad thing after all,
red