i fell asleep much too late again but it was okay as there was nothing major to get accomplished this morning. i woke up about 10 at first and then dosed off again until i heard some familiar music on tv. serendipity was back on tv lol. there was no sarah michelle follow up but it just made me giggle. i caught it at the best part of the movie, as they are both wondering if their current loves are supposed to be their forever loves. i almost felt bad for the other two folks involved because they never seem to get to the girl and ohh get this both ended up as jilted lovers on sex and the city (carrie’s ex aidan and big’s ex-wife natasha). somehow losing carrie and big would an interesting comparison to losing john cusack and kate beckingsale but that’s just my personal opinion. anyway moving on now.
why is life interesting may you ask? or even if you didn’t let me tell you. a few nights ago Emperor told me He thought i was needy. it never occured to me that He thought that and then i had to sit with that after we were done talking to do some introspection, as i always do when someone tells me something i wasn’t expecting about myself. could i be needy? i guess it depends on how you define the word but in some circumstances i guess i could be perceived as needy. not financially needy, i could always use more funds but i’d never look to anyone i wasn’t married to for any assistance there. i’m not psychologically needy. i do have my issues and i am aware of them and trying to fix them as best i can. i am what some folks might consider emotionally needy. not in the kind of sense that i need constant flattery or attention from the person i’m seeing (that’s why i can usually function okay for a long stretch in long distance situations). however, i am emotionally needy in the sense that i like to talk. it’s part of why i do what i do. it gives me the interaction i need on a daily basis and allows me to help other people at the same time.
contact is how i know that i am welcome in someone’s life. even the idle sort of absent minded conversations are better than no contact at all for me. Emperor is not like this. He never has been and i doubt He ever will be. He keeps His own counsel as folks are apt to say. i do to a much lesser degree but every now and then i need to seek advice from those i trust and those people usually include my partners. i have remember though that this is one of those points that couples have to address together. balancing needs versus wants and desires. i haven’t had to do that in a while. being mostly single means you can rid yourself of people at will and without warning. being His means until He is fed up or bored or moves on that i will be with Him trying to be what He wants and do what He asks of me. it is an adjustment after so much time on my own but it’s one that i want to make. after He asked me a simple question and i gave a simple answer the quick discarding was over for me. i adore Him as you all know lol so this is just one more step along the path of my submission to Him. it’s a path i plan to stay on with His help of course. if nothing else, i will learn to taper off the demands i put on other people to give me some sort of connection to the world at large (been working on that one as you saw in a previous post) and to allow me to enjoy and strengthen the connection i have with Him.
anyhoo i am going to add some quizzes to this post and then finish laughing at this erectile dysfunction commercial.
| You Passed 8th Grade Science |
 Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct! |
| You Passed 8th Grade Math |
 Congratulations, you got 8/10 correct! |
| You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart |
 You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn’t matter, because you’re confident and secure. You don’t go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade! |
| You Are a Normal Girl |
 You are 40% Good and 60% Bad Sure you’ve pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you’re (mostly) a good girl. |
| Your Winter Look is Cute |
 You always bring color to a dreary winter day! |
| You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls |
 You’ve struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl. |
| What Your Black Outfit Means |
 You’re a sophisticated woman with big city taste. You have a strong creative force – even if you don’t wear the boldest clothes. You tend to intimidate people. But the right guy won’t be intimidated by you! Designer match: Dolce & Gabbana Signature accessory: Gold framed sunglasses |
| You are a Brainy Girl! |
 Whether you’re an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you’re always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he’s got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn’t hurt either! |
| Your Fashion Style is Classic |
 You like what’s stood the test of time… Simple, well styled clothes that don’t scream trendy You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while You wouldn’t be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors |