that’s what my office smells like now. i slipped back into my favorite bath junkie scent and that is lulling me into a further state of calm. i love the smell. it’s ridiculous how much i love the smell. i avoided getting the bubble bath the last time i went in (instead got another bottle of the lotion). but i may suck that up and go get it today. i have been avoiding my pampering lately and i am unsure as to why. i need a pedicure and i would love to have someone wash my hair. it isn’t that i can’t do it myself (the hair washing that is, i refuse to do my own pedicures) but i really like having someone else’s hands on my head. it’s a great sensation. i need to schedule my appointment with the hairdresser soon so i can be beyond adorable when i leave for Memphis. i can’t do either this evening though. i need to run to the store and then run to my couch and sleep.
i am unusually sleepy this morning and i don’t know why that is. i slept okay even though i dreamt about oversleeping lol. me and princess bear zonked out relatively early for me. but my 10AM appointment no showed so i have been allowed to be still for several moments now and it’s not helping the waking up process at all. i have four more clients scheduled today lol. if they all no show then i have a lot less paperwork to do tomorrow afternoon.
something else has become clear to me during my pondering time. my doubts about Emperor and i really come to the surface late at night. somewhere around midnight if i’m still awake it sets in and nags away at me if i let it. i often distract myself with something inane until i can dose off but last night the voice was louder. probably because that part of me that waits for Him is lonely and all of her happy association with Him is being overshadowed by the doubt. i eventually made them both shuddup and said my silent prayer that always calms my nerves. ok i just typed something i had to erase because it was a lie lol. i felt better and more at ease so i fell deep into sleep and enjoyed it. i miss His voice more than anything else right now. hopefully i’ll hear it again soon. okay for now i’m gone away. enjoy your mornings/afternoons or evenings.
red
You scored 9% grit, 38% wit, 33% flair, and 30% class!
Find out what kind of classic leading man you’d make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.
Arghhh!! Did that test and got a slutcom 4… based on my life before Him.. but I really have no idea how to answer the questions other than I did… Pfff…
As for your doubts and worries… In my opiniom, LDR are the worst of all… I will not survive one… Not sure if I told you, but before coming together in Montreal, it was question of that for the next 5 years… He was to live in Vancouver, me in Montreal, we will meet every three months or so and make ourselves happy with online chats and e-mails…. ARGHHHH!!! My answer to that was a huge “NO THANKS… I prefer give up on you… Our relationship wont survive it and I wont either… Yes… I’m a slut and I need to feel my man in my body… and not every 3 months… but many times a day… so be sure that will leave you and go to someone closer…..”
Cheap??? aMaybe.. but true… I admire people who can tolerate it… and I have no idea how you do so… so please, don’t worry about feeling a bit lonely at times… I wouls feel lonely and find a medication if I was in your shoes… but you don’t… It is beautiful… and I wish your Emperor knows the value of that…;-)
some days i wonder too and then i remember well it’s cause i care about Him deeply, more than i planned and at least for now this is what it has to be like, thanks for understanding though and i think He gets it (at least i hope He does)
Why is it that those nagging thoughts always creep in when trying to fall asleep?? I usually end up popping (hee hee, I just typed ‘pooping’ by mistake) in my earphones and listening to my MP3 player until I fall asleep. It drowns out the voice.
Hope you and princess bear have a restful night tonight.
French vanilla and almonds sounds heavenly. Is it Bath & Body Shop or something else?
Take care,
sk
Ooooh – french vanilla & almonds… YUM. Heavenly. Delicious. Delightful. And that’s the extent of my word-power tonight.
Im gonna have to agree with SK. Music music music… just don’t pick any soft sappy love stuff!
*hugs*
lionette
the store is actually called bath junkie (www.bathjunkie.com) it’s highly addictive as you can mix the scents and colors however you like with anything they have in the store, lotion-bubble bath-soap-whatever. i love it but i am not allowed to go in there every month for that reason.
thanks for the hugs, music is an idea but i am usually so lazy after work that beyond eating a little net browsing and watching tv nothing gets touched in my apartment lol. maybe i’ll load something on the laptop tonight and drift off with my bear who i am sure is tired of me snoring around her already.