okay i haven’t left my bedroom so i definitely haven’t been driving anywhere BUT the maroon 5 song just popped in my head as i begun phase two of blogging this morning. so now you know all about my fascination with anne rice and akasha and what i would have been on halloween had i stayed in track shape lol.
but i was thinking of two things during that post that made sense to me but would have been all out of the context of my costume choices. in a bizarre way akasha was the perfect sub ROFL. i know she tried to kill everyone and was the strongest of them all but when her husband could no longer function she took her place at his side as a marble statue and stayed that way until she happened upon lestat. she moved briefly when he discovered her with her husband and then he awoke her and she made her way to him. she made him so much more than he ever could have been by giving her strength to him. had he not betrayed her and helped murder her, and well had she not been a complete loon, she would have been his wife/protector/plaything etc. so i may be reaching there but that popped in my head.
the other thing that came to mind is have i done something or nothing that could encouage Emperor’s current mood of quiet calm? i haven’t chased after Him but neither have i completely ignored Him. i haven’t said You are pissing me off but i haven’t made much of a squeak about my missing Him either. could i really just accept that whatever is going on with Him has nothing to do with me but i am just in the wake of His own needs and wants? i always try to recall the world is bigger than me and sometimes someone’s reaction to me may have little of nothing to do with ME per se. but on ocassion, like now, i feel as though i might have disappointed Him and He is just trying to figure out how to tell me. regardless of what it is, i have to do better. i have to keep tending to the rest of my life and know that when He is ready He will reach out to me again. i hope it’s soon so you all can see the insanely perky pet He has created when i am under His gaze and attention. lol have a good day ladies and gents.
ETA: i just heard from Emperor, He was in an accident this weekend. He told me that i was being a good pet essentially even though He may not tell me enough. so i can relax into comfort of tending to Him however i can long distance. le sigh.