well my tantrum is mostly over. a day off from other people’s issues has been good. i haven’t spoken to Emperor and i doubt i will before i go to bed this evening but even that is okay. the next time we talk i have to share with Him some things i haven’t said here yet and we’ll see where it goes from there. i actually enjoyed my evening and didn’t snap at my mother. i went looking at men’s wedding bands (no reason i just wanted to see what they had in platinum) and found a ring i liked but i hate the stones in it, they were SI2 stones, which can have inclusions in them.
i went to wally world and found what i needed and even found a reasonably priced duck for thanksgiving dinner. i need to figure out if i am gonna do a butter baste this year or something else. i love duck though so either way it will be straight. i still miss Him and i still love Him but i can’t make Him keep me and as i said before i refuse to stay anywhere i’m not wanted. i’ll check in on Him later. then i’ll go to bed and enjoy my night. life is what it is and despite my outburst i am doing much better i swear.
be good people,
red
Oh!… I don’t know what to say… but you seem to handle the situation quite well… but I feel sad for you… you had so much hope… but maybe is it for the best… the best is always to come in situations like that…
i haven’t necessarily given up on Him but i can’t do for Him what He won’t allow, i’ve regained my easy calm and how He chooses to play into that is completely up to Him