Trying to reconnect to myself again. I’m always busy and am not always taking care of myself in the way I should be. Even though it got rained out today, tennis is restarting and I’m looking forward to that. I’m starting to cook more again and I really enjoy that. I found out today my passport renewal was approved so while I shave a year off my old one I’m good through 2032 now and don’t have to worry about traveling in the spring when I plan on going. I need to find a new PCP and a new workout routine. My body is upset with me and I am upset with myself. I need to finish a few more engagements before I jump on anything else and I am overtired because the stuff I have to do eats up so much time.
I haven’t been sharing a lot of thoughts on fetlife lately mostly because I really only care about one person reading them and as best I can tell he gave up on me six or seven months ago. But thinking about a recent dumb interaction just made me remember why I used to enjoy fet and kink in general. There were different kinds of men there then. Both online and in real life. Those men weren’t always gentlemen based on the conversations that ensued but they were entertaining and that was a benefit. I even made some good friends as a result. Now though, most of them are either off fet or in really involved relationships which I do not begrudge them. And in their wake they have left pale imitators or men who cannot handle being just friends or corrected or engaging if no sex is going to be involved. It makes it hard to remember why kink appeals to me sometimes. I know I can’t date vanilla though, not and really be happy, so I’m kind of at a stalemate. Maybe someone will arrive with a good one liner again but more than likely I’ll turn into that munch scene bottom for those learning to play hard and go on home dripping.