So apparently May is National Masturbation Month. I have no idea how I made it to nearly 40 and didn’t know that such a thing existed. I have been celebrating without knowing it. In the last four days I have had as many self induced orgasms and plan on continuing to have at least one for each day of the month. Friday I had to turn to an 80s tv hero and figure some shit out. I was out of town and left my Hitachi Wand–so pissed you have no idea–and I was horny after hearing from the only man that can call me cunt and it be both a term of endearment and make me cream a little in my panties. I’m on a hotel room and have nothing hard enough or long enough to do much. I only figure this out after getting partially there with a plastic drinking cup, tiny bottle of shampoo, ice, an Orange Leaf plastic spoon, my fingers and some ice. Each one got me a little bit closer but not quite there. So I had a moment of desperation and folded the cup in on itself and then left it lodged where my pussy is most sensitive. I grabbed an ice cube and tormented my clit before unleashing a furious assault on my clit and lips with the spoon. I had a nice good hard orgasm and was finally able to get some sleep. Since I made it home the wand and I have been getting reacquainted. It missed me I can tell and I have to admit being terribly sorry he didn’t make the trip with me. My fucking machine will be here later this week. So will the crazy lady that lives in my house but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to give a crap about that and I’m going to fuck myself silly whenever I get a free moment. I got a free dildo for it but I also got an overly girthy one and a cute purple swan looking one to go with my moods for different dicks as it were.
I am also going to my first kinky events this summer. At one I definitely have some playmates lined up at but I’m looking for more friends for the second one later this summer. Who wants to meet me in Baltimore?