i literally don’t know who is still reading this but thanks for stopping by all the same. i am three days removed from a much needed renewing vacation to my favorite place on the planet other than my hometowns. thinking about it now still makes me smile because in the many decades i’ve been on this earth i have rarely done anything solely for myself and didn’t feel bad about it. i made all of the accommodations and preparations for others before i left and then i took off for parts unknown to some. i set up shop at a new hotel which allowed me to explore new parts of the city. i was also walking distance to the tattoo parlor which was even better so no late night trips in bolt, just late night stumbles–one night and fall another but that’s a tale for another night–back to my very cool and comfortable hotel room. the views were amazing and i started to think about my first trip to the city and how i was fucked in front of a different hotel room window overlooking the river. i didn’t have plans for that this trip but i did masturbate frequently in front of that window. and just enjoyed being nude when i got out of the shower. if anyone else was peaking in, i hope they enjoyed the show because i did not care then and don’t care now. the bench and the bed were eventually utilized as the windowsill and bed had been previously but also differently. thuddy stingy pain were visitors during this trip. along with really rude nipple clamps and claws. claws were nicer than the clamps for real. there was also a refreshing amount of honesty on display during the visitation. mixed in with my whimpering was me honestly admitting what my struggle had been over the last few years. a more muted conversation post whimpering, for someone who likes pain so much you’d be amazed by how much i react to it verbally and non verbally, helped make peace with other struggles. it was a good visit and after a brief nap i was back at the tattoo shop and ready for an early dinner and nap so that i could get on my flight and head home. five days was enough and not enough at the same time. had i stayed any longer i would have likely started making bad decisions. had i stayed any less, we wouldn’t have been able to clear the air which was much needed. my brain and body synced up for the first time in a long time on this trip. the desire to love myself and others was restored in clear cut ways. i’ll be on the road again in february. new experiences to be unlocked. i’m welcoming new opportunities all year. hope you are well and that the end of the year greets you with nothing but love.