i couldn’t think of a title for this and the presenter i’m observing right now just mentioned that phrase and it worked. we are discussing vetting partners in the scene and what that means for each of us. i have vetted literally no one lol. mostly because i don’t play in public and i meet people randomly outside of kink communities usually. i don’t know that i would have made different decisions honestly. i enjoyed and needed to have each of those experiences. even with as much as one of those dynamics ending gutted me, it needed to be an experience in my life. i grew a lot in each of these relationships even if it wasn’t always comfortable growth. i am comfortable in my skin for the first time in a long time. that doesn’t mean i have a partner on tap because i don’t. i’m not even sure if i am looking for anyone. my mind is fertile and it allows me to engage in the fantasy play that i enjoy. i will use a random voice in my head if i need the engagement. honestly, after the last few weeks of foolishness with work, something knocking me backwards unexpectedly, and losing my first loc tonight even though i think we can get it reattached, i am feeling much more hopeful. love and life will meet me when they are supposed to and not a moment sooner.