I am struggling today. It’s Mother’s Day and most of the time I suck it up and do my good daughter thing but today I got squat. I ordered her food yesterday so we didn’t have to fight the holiday crowd, got groceries and the like. I sent her gift card this morning along with the one for my SIL. And now I’m nursing a headache and I’m ready for a nap. Ahh well. Let’s tackle these prompts that make me regret nothing in the mass journal day posts.
Prompt for today: What skill would you like to develop to enhance your service? I don’t know because I don’t see myself as a service dispenser. Each dynamic is different and while I am not a wholly new person in each one, certain parts of who I am don’t shine in each one. I do tend to enjoy a good sadist so if receiving pain and pushing limits is a service then that’s the one that I think I could say yes I would like to push myself there more for both my Dominant partner and myself.
Prompt for tomorrow: shortened–If you still have a period/cycle, are certain things off limits during that time frame? Thankfully don’t have this issue, when I did I didn’t have sex. While showers and towels are great things, I just never enjoyed the feeling. I might perform oral or take a spanking but even then it would depending on what was happening with my body that day.
Prompt for Tuesday: shortened–Respond to the following “I will take responsibility for discovering what pleases my Top and will do my best to please them.” I will not do this. This is stupid. I will discuss with my Dominant/Top what things they enjoy and how to do things, add things, improve things so that they enjoy them more. This may be semantics but the way the original prompt was written felt sneaky and like I was committed to mind reading. If this is just what can you do to learn about what your partner likes then all is good.
Prompt for Wednesday: shortened–Why do you journal? Is it for you or for someone else? Do you write with your Dominant partner in mind? I have had moments when my journaling was for my partner but overall the journaling is for me. It allows me to process things and vent and gush and whatever else it is I want to do. I try to be as transparent as I can without attacking anyone. And I try to be honest with myself mostly because when I look back on what I’ve written I don’t want to be wondering why I just flat out lied to myself and y’all.
Prompt for Thursday: shortened–Think about your daily life and detail your behaviors that are ritualized. Nothing really. Going to work maybe, eating possibly but I’m not big on ritual currently.
Prompt for Friday: What does your collar mean and symbolize to you? Don’t have one, we’ve discussed this before in a few posts it feels like but if I had one I don’t think I’d view it as anything more than a symbol of commitment.
Prompt for Saturday: What is your favorite form of service? If we mean service outside of kink, mentoring and sharing my knowledge. If we mean service within kink, best I got is what I mentioned earlier and that’s receiving pain.