Prompt for Saturday: If you aren’t currently involved in a power exchange dynamic, how do you see it developing in your life? If you are currently involved in a dynamic, how did you incorporate the new responsibilities int your existing life ones? So I’m not sure about how it will develop in my life. I stay busy. I have little room to be in a position to meet anyone let alone get over my normal weirdness to be claimed. I would like it to though. I miss being with someone in that way. I miss dominance in my life and the ways in which I found support in it. I hope that as the pandemic ends–whenever the hell that is–that I can take some time for myself again and go find some time to at least scene again if nothing else.
Prompt for Sunday: Is there something (a type of play, an act of service, a rule, or requirement) that you don’t enjoy but submit to anyway? I’m gonna say no. If I really don’t enjoy I won’t do it without speaking to my Dominant to see if we can change it up in some way. When I was with the Dutchman he asked me to do something that I was not down with but was curious about. It took me way longer than I care to admit to finally do it and do it in a way that I could tolerate mentally. This was my introduction to water sports lol. Once I did it I could see the appeal of it but it took much longer for me to actually enjoy it. I also wasn’t totally cool with my Dominant partners making me orgasm from oral sex. It didn’t feel terribly submissive in my brain. A lengthy conversation and session with Mr. Wolf and the Dutchman (conversation) made it more about me being a vessel for them to enjoy themselves than about whether or not I was getting off as well. I would but yeah that wasn’t the point lol. Other than that I’ve negotiated tweaks to things so that I could do them more willingly. But as I recognized a few days ago, week maybe, the biggest difference was in the ways in which I was submitting to various partners made things different in terms of my behavior. Being snatched into submission versus walking there when I wanted to is a different experience.