So I forgot how long Tuesday was so I need to do that prompt and the one for Wednesday (today) as well because I’m in meetings all day today too. Tuesday: Complete this sentence and then keep writing: “I got to this point in my submissive journey because I am not always aware that I’m falling into old patterns, afraid of making mistakes, and often having to put my own needs on the back burner.” I’ve talked about some of this before so I won’t rehash all of it. My kink sensibilities have been heavily influenced by my vanilla dating patterns. To that I mean I like highly sexual relationships BUT I tend to enjoy them one or one now instead of been much closer to a polyamorous existence when I was doing the vanilla thing. And I think that’s because I crave a deeper connection to one person now. However, I don’t tend to seek out people that offer strict correction even when I think that’s what I may need. I like guidance but I hate correction if I’m being perfectly honest and that’s hard to pull off if I’m really going to submit because I am not a brat. And honestly, if I was less involved in caretaking I likely would be in a larger city with a kinky Black community because I can live relatively cheaply on my own. Ahh well. I am doing things like this to work on me and who I want to be before the next kink commitment begins.
Wednesday: Imagine a crystal ball that can give you the answer to one questions about your future. What would you ask? What would you hope to see? Hmm this is easy but hard. I’d really want to know at what point in the future does my life look easy. I don’t mean easier and less stress than now because that could be accomplished by people just not sucking but I mean genuinely easy. Bills are paid, mom is happy, work is smooth, I’m happy and loved by someone who enjoys my nerdy side just as much as they enjoy throat fucking me before we go to bed. I just want to see everyone happy and comfortable and enjoying our time together.