I am awake when I should be sleeping. It happens a lot though so I’m not totally surprised. I am listening to the rain which normally makes me sleepy and/or horny and I am neither. I am annoyed that the event I knew I could get to, because others had been canceled and another was/is badly timed, has been moved to a time frame I’ll never be able to attend. And I’ve been waiting like several dozen others for the last month for a refund to be processed because the organizers just don’t seem very capable of doing anything quickly or with any level of transparency at the moment. I am a tiny bit jealous of the kinky couples who are curled up with one another right now. Not because they are able to do something kinky at their leisure but I tend to sleep better when I sleep with someone I care about. I am wondering when and if I need to bite my tongue. I am waiting for that thunderstruck moment that just says enough already silly little girl it’s time right now. I am frustrated that I haven’t been to the gym this week. I am glad that my boobs haven’t deserted me as I’ve lost weight. I am confused perpetually by what I want versus what I need versus just being overwhelmed by emotion. I am glad that Rugrats on cause otherwise I’d be watching crappy tv. I am finally starting to yawn. I am going to try to go to sleep and dream of something ridiculous that I would probably never do because I’d be too embarrassed to ask or engage if I was asked.
I am signing off now….