It’s Late and I Am…

I am awake when I should be sleeping.  It happens a lot though so I’m not totally surprised.  I am listening to the rain which normally makes me sleepy and/or horny and I am neither.  I am annoyed that the event I knew I could get to, because others had been canceled and another was/is badly timed, has been moved to a time frame I’ll never be able to attend.  And I’ve been waiting like several dozen others for the last month for a refund to be processed because the organizers just don’t seem very capable of doing anything quickly or with any level of transparency at the moment.  I am a tiny bit jealous of the kinky couples who are curled up with one another right now.  Not because they are able to do something kinky at their leisure but I tend to sleep better when I sleep with someone I care about.  I am wondering when and if I need to bite my tongue.  I am waiting for that thunderstruck moment that just says enough already silly little girl it’s time right now.  I am frustrated that I haven’t been to the gym this week.  I am glad that my boobs haven’t deserted me as I’ve lost weight.  I am confused perpetually by what I want versus what I need versus just being overwhelmed by emotion.  I am glad that Rugrats on cause otherwise I’d be watching crappy tv.  I am finally starting to yawn.  I am going to try to go to sleep and dream of something ridiculous that I would probably never do because I’d be too embarrassed to ask or engage if I was asked.

I am signing off now….

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