This post may be a rambling mess so I apologize. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she tells Angel she’s not done baking yet. I used that analogy when talking to Mr. Wolf tonight and I’m glad I did. You my brain can be uber literal and only be holding on to one definition of things. Everyone gets unbaked cookies. Can’t be super unbaked cause that will make you sick. For me you can’t be overdone cause no one likes crunchy cookies. Well I don’t anyway. The perfectly baked cookie makes my mouth water and makes my nose happy. We all bake at different speeds and I’m willing for my favorite cookies to firm up.
Beyond that though there is something to be said for one thing Mr. Wolf does that I don’t always, if ever, adhere to which is being blatantly balls out honest and direct. As I have mentioned before I’m great with being direct when I don’t want much from you other than a good fuck. The relationship stuff I try to navigate the honesty with the desire to not dive bomb people emotionally. I can be beyond blunt when I have hit the “don’t give a fuck” zone. I try not to get there anymore before I cut things off. When I do you’ll know but my disinterest can’t be masked. I will still help you out and we can still talk but truly don’t give a rats ass about seeing you or being gentle with your emotions. My anger and irritation still means I care. My disinterest just means pack up your shit and head on out.
Always trust my desire as it’s the most palpable indication of whether I give a fuck. It’s that smell of sugar and butter when you walk into the bakery. Ever present when I want you. Absent when I’ve decided to give you up for Lent. It may possibly return if you’re a great baker but if not head down the block. I’m sure someone down that way is ok with overdone cookies and will devour you.