Stream of Consciousness

This will be rambling and weird so I’ll apologize for that now.  I am having the strangest thoughts and emotions as of late.  Nothing that concerns me in the I need help range but I hate not knowing what I’m doing or who I’m doing or why I’m doing them lol.  As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m very much so more secure in who I am as a submissive/babygirl than I have been ever in my life.  And while that makes me content on one level it’s not at all meaning I’m moving any closer to long term stable happy relationship with anyone other than myself.  My life in general is moving along well.  Work is good, working out is good, cooking is great.  I’ve made new friends and I’m learning all about the joys of taking care of my house.  But I’m horny as all get out.  The men locally SUCK on so many levels and the non local one are a mixed bag.

A few I would fuck just on GP but they are too far away or busy as hell which does nothing to stop me from having to produce my own orgasms.  And there’s a new one that so the epitome of not local that seems like he’s a subbie girl’s daydream.  Well this one anyway as I am a little twisted as subbie girls go.  I’ve debated if it’s just a girl with a shiny new toy thing because you know when there’s a new potential playmate I get super duper distracted and moist.  But it’s not just that.  For those that know me you know I am hard to control and harder to keep interested.  It takes a special type of persona to get up in my brain and then I’m a wee bit more than pliable.  It does help that he’s thousands of miles away at the moment cause if not I’d probably not be typing this right now.  I’d more than likely be passed out on the floor in a sticky pile wondering how I’m going to explain the rug burn on my cheek to the folks at the gym.  He’s creating lovely new fantasies in my brain and that’s giving me all sorts of fodder for when I need to release myself and that has been frequently in the last few days.  That could also be because I bought that Hitachi Wand and damn that thing is heavenly.  Oh my damn it’s good.  I’m in need of a good breath deprived plunging fuck.  Ah well a girl can dream.

I planted my calla lily bulbs into containers.  I’m not ready to destroy the yard plus the weather is so crazy that while it’s 50 something today everything could be covered in ice and 12 in a few days.  Right before that I started prepping food for tomorrow’s dinner.  Moment’s like these make me feel very Kinky Klaire esque.  A whole different kind of domestic goddess.  The skirt I bought from a vintage shop did the same thing.  All I needed was a pin curl set and a pair of low heels.  I’d have happily served dinner, drinks and a side of head in that skirt.  Like I said I’m all over the place.  There has to be a man somewhere that appreciates and can properly utilize all of my talents lol.  Ok back to figuring out what I can do with my summer travel plans.

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