okay so you’re getting two posts today. this one wasn’t intended. i guess the other one wasn’t either. it’s been five months since i heard from RS. i’m feeling very disconnected from everything right now. i keep getting sick and as i have told folks that’s a by product of me feeling more stressed lately. i’ve been dealing with a lot of things in my head too which aren’t helping. i’ve gone from worried to pissed to worried to whatever this is i’m feeling now. you’d think i’d have words for it but i don’t. you know i mentioned the old couples and wanting to be with someone that long. truthfully right now i’d kill to just have someone lying next to me more evenings than not with no imminent threat of death or separation hanging over our heads.
i’ve stopped getting excited when i get mail notices because i doubt seriously they are from Him. i don’t eagerly check the mail because i can’t tell you the last time i touched something He sent. i want to be a good little girl but it’s very lonely without some contact from Him. i need my Daddy and He just isn’t available to me right now. how do you keep moving when you’re just tired and want to sit still and cry?