idle chit chat

whenever you get done reading this post go visit my Johari window and tell me what you think i am. and if you just want to view the results they are here. okay moving on.

today was mild by caseload standards. nothing too strenuous and nothing too bizarre. actually go the two first ones smiling. the second two were very depressed and we made the best decisions we could at that moment. and then he showed up. logged on or found me whichever right as my day slowed to its inevitable crawl and we talked for a few hours. sounds so mundane. nothing in particular shocking about the conversation. but talking to him makes me smile the most idiotic smile and i am just simply happy. it has been a whirlwind of a week. and on some level i think we have both been ignoring the obvious fact that he’s leaving soon even as we acknowledge it in the exchange of words we have been having.

the exchange has been pure, well mostly pure lol, with very little discussion of the chord that afforded an introduction in the first place. we did discuss that a bit tonight along with the other things we have been avoiding but it still seems entirely too surreal. a mix of emotions are running around right now. and i did admit i found him entirely too interesting to him tonight. he said something quite similar and it was a nice giggly moment had by all. i will have to keep him deeply ensconced in my prayers, more for his daughter than for myself but if he’s back and still entirely too interesting i will happily proceed as he wishes.

beyond me though, do keep our good friend and her most enchanting companion in your thoughts as well. they have much more time and emotion invested in one another, not to mention said friend has already had an intense loss related to this skirmish we allegedly aren’t in. and if we do continue in the future it will be because she has been a bridge for us and slid us just enough information to bely the worries that people have when they are newly acquainted. the two of them, her and her cutie pie, deserve the best chance to start the life together they were planning. and i want to be able to attend a wedding of people i like and rock something cute and sit next to the nice six foot eight inch man that makes me giggle and talking to his cute small person that upon further reflection has a LOT in common with me. ok that last part was selfish but umm i am hopeful looking at them. a nice happy couple who are in and somewhat active in the lifestyle as well. not that all of your relationships aren’t intriguing and stimulating for me but one that is tangible for me in real life is always helpful. besides i think they are young and cute and there just aren’t enough young cute couples in the world. i mean really there aren’t. have a good night boys and girls.