okay so it’s THAT time of the lovely month and i am beyond hormonal. it’s like my recognition that another month has come and gone and that i will be in chronic pain for several days, sends me on this emotional tailspin which i desperately hate. i’m still relatively happy don’t get me wrong but during these moments i start doubting what i am doing. is this really what my life is supposed to be like? how much longer can i deal with Emperor when He’s so far away and makes me confused sometimes? does He even care about me? yes completely over the top and it often fades after the first good day but it still comes and that annoys me. i don’t like being off balance and most definitely during this week i am off balance. He was busy last night when i wanted to talk and instead of shrugging it off like normal i seriously had a pout for nearly half an hour before i just was overwhelmed by physical pain and couldn’t concentrate anymore. i want to be with Him and He has repeatedly told me that He wants me with Him so why is it that my hormones make my brain forget that every 28 days or so. it needs to stop i say stop it right damn now lol. okay had to get that out, i’m better now.
if you haven’t ever read his page, you definitely should check out Master Engima’s page today. the whole entry on shibari is very 1) informative and 2) erotic but if you don’t take my adlebrained word for it go read it yourselves lol. the morning is slow. i don’t have any clients and all attempts at doing paperwork have crashed and burned. i’m gonna roam blog land for a while and then maybe take a nap in my office while no one is looking.