what i am is what i am

it’s late and i’ll be getting in bed soon. i’m blogging because Emperor is coming off of His endorphin rush after the Sox latest victory. He has done absolutely nothing to make me pout this evening but i am pouting still. i’m not sure when He will be visiting now which was not necessarily good news. i mean my schedule is as hectic as His but curling up with Him to snore off together would have been wonderful. He is quite pleased with me this evening–i did exactly what He wanted apparently but it feels a little hollow because there is no hand to brush my cheek. i adore the “darling pet”s but hearing Him say that shortly after He slips on my blindfold or mask is so much more satisfying. ahh maybe i’m just horny and the lack of His physical presence is what is bothering me at the moment. it’s only been a week but i miss Him more than i anticipated apparently. and after all the drama with clearly not the right man, i think it just deepened my appreciation for Emperor. ahh well i do feel better now, i am not sure why i always struggle to just accept what i’m feeling as it comes. i need to be closer to Him, both physically and emotionally. i want the tingle down my spine to continue everytime He speaks my name. i want to be able to speak the words to Him without blushing myself out of them. i adore Him, ahh i do.