Stop it Saturday

This week has been a whole lot of week.  I have more thoughts that I may come back and add but I want to tackle this prompt first: What is one of the most valuable services you can or do provide?  The honest answer is that I am very organized and if given a list or a task to accomplish I will strive to get it done with the utmost of my abilities.  It may wipe me out emotionally and it may drive me batty but it will get done.  The more nuanced answer is I am not feeling like I’ve ever provided anything of worth to the people I’ve served.  I was not there to provide a tangible service other than physical gratification and the ability to command a willing body.  With Mr. Wolf I periodically felt like I was topping from the bottom because he enjoyed the things that I enjoyed having done to me.  With GN and RS, I may have just been a port in the storm.  I don’t know what the fuck I gave to Emperor or The Dutchman.  Outside of GN, I don’t speak to any of them even semi regularly.  There are lots of reasons but all it amounts to is whatever I was offering was not sufficiently intriguing to be missed or desired.  The folks who do hit on me now don’t seem to be looking for much more than a physical interaction.  I don’t know what in the submissive world I am or what I represent other than a series of orifices to be plundered.

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