And now it’s time to say goodbye to all my…..

If you watched a lot of Def Comedy Jam you’ll be able to finish that sentence.  If not, either go watch or do a google search.  I’m not planning on disappearing.  Just wanted something that made me smile when I started typing.  As I have made yet another journey around the sun and have settled into my now mid 40s officially, something has come to settle in with me.  Last post, I mentioned that I needed to quit reaching out to my exes even though I wasn’t sure if I could pull that off.  Turns out, that wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  I’ve spoken to one since then but I have backed away from all of them.  It’s not that they were blocking my progress, or even that I am upset with them.  I’m not.  Our relationships were good until they weren’t (check out Stupendo Fino A Qui for a pretty good song and explanation of my thoughts).  And they, for the most part, never did anything directly to hurt me.  My hurt and disappointment is largely due to what I was hoping would happen versus what actually did.  And I have told more than enough people that you cannot date potential or the idealized version of the person you care about to know better.

I loved each of them for entirely different reasons and they each brought entirely different things into my life (check out Not in That Way and Bad at Love).  The truth is while I am very independent and able to be self-contained I’m still a a bit of a romantic and want the epic love story wrapped in a kinky bow.  And while I’d love to be out and about and run into my tall dark and handsome everything, my life doesn’t really allow for that and getting close to people involves some inherent risk that I’m not totally down with taking right now.  On the plus side, work is good.  I have amazing opportunities coming from that for me and others.  And I am still thinking that I’ll find the right person to go with me in all formats.  Check out random songs at your leisure: Take Your Time by Sam Hunt, Take Me To Church by Hozier, Somebody to Die For by Sam Smith, or Best For You by Maroon 5.

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