.:Tuesday, December 25, 2007:.
-merry christmas lol-i will post something with more substance later
.:Sunday, September 09, 2007:.
-i've been a bad bad girl-okay so not really and hold on for a second let me see something. everytime i say i've been a bad bad girl i think of the video right above this. my days of breaking a boy just because i can have long since faded. i don't deal with men that i can break or easily manipulate anymore. it's actually boring being able to get exactly what you want constantly. well at least it was for me. it's fun for like a week and then it dawned on me that the boy in question would do anything i said including some things i'd never do for him so i'd look to replace him with someone that would prove to be a bigger challenge. of course this was all about a decade ago at this point but yeah i still think of that song. thanks to one of my friends i also have another song stuck in my head. i think i posted it when it came up around christmas time cause it was hilarious but feel free to laugh again if you like.
other than that i really have been behaving. except for the thirty minutes that i was laughing because a sorority sister announced her pregnancy--i didn't laugh in her face that would have been rude--and she is just not maternally minded so we are all wondering what will happen now. i still don't have my scores back yet but what can you do. hopefully they will come in tomorrow and give me some resolution one way or the other. thanks to everyone that has said you have passed don't worry about it but i'm a little anal and yes i know the various ways that can be misinterpreted lol. nothing i can do about the scores right now i just want em back now. i think i'd like a box now lol. damn military service.
see ya
red
oh my god, i forgot to share what my friend told me. he knows all about me and the kink that is my life and in having a conversation about football i told him about this recurring fantasy i have about Roaming Soldier and the NFL season lol. all my friend said was you need some Orbit gum cause you are a dirty dirty girl. that made me crack up. so here's an orbit commercial for you.
.:Saturday, August 11, 2007:.
-i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad-yeah my brain is going random on the maroon 5 lyrics. that's track 9 on their first cd--songs about jane--not remember if there was a real jane but you kick ass if you exist because that cd is still fierce many moons after it was released. i have been listening to it again the last few days and it made me think about Roaming Soldier. that just gave me a shiver lol. i have never been alone in a room with the man that has totally rearranged my life, my priorities, my wants and dreams. every time we thought, maybe this weekend--maybe in a few weeks--maybe by Christmas, we were bitch slapped by the cold hand of reality. normally a good slap on the ass is well hey all good lol but when it's not being delivered out of love then it's just kind of hollow. i'll admit my writing has improved quite a bit because of Him. my imagination has dug into all the unexplored nooks and crannies in my brain BUT that's left a few other nooks and crannies left empty and needy. needy really isn't the right word, more like hungry. i know more about Him than i've known about any man ever in the nearly 32 years i've been on this planet. but short of His rather amazing stature i could bump into Him on the street and not even recognize His smile. that seems so crazy to me when i say it or write it as the case may be but it also has never felt more perfectly right and necessary before in my life. i want to cease on the possibility He has gifted me with. which is what led me to the last song on the cd. sweetest goodbye is the name the song and it just made me think of the retarded nights i've spent crying myself to sleep since He's been gone and the afternoon both of us were too shell shocked by His departure to say much of anything like we were nervous teenagers again. regardless of the sanity of the act-the behavior and emotion hasn't waned in the nearly 18 months He's been in my life. so i'm posting these for you to listen to get where my head was at. had to get them on youtube as imeem is editing the hell out of things lately and you wouldn't get the point at all. both are just still photos with the songs playing but you need to hear adam's voice to understand the point.
.:Sunday, August 05, 2007:.
-it's quiet over this way-it's been a busy weekend. i'm doing my crisis coverage which has been relatively tame. hopefully it stays that way over the next few days as there are a billion and one other things that need to have happen over that time too. the studying has been eye opening. i took my first post-test and tanked it lol. wasn't even close but it made me focus on the areas that i screwed up and post-test two is on track to be a pass. i'm going to hope in the shower and climb into bed with another review section as i prepare to go to bed. it's not like i'm remotely sleepy anyway and showering tonight will help save some time in the morning when the effect of the not sleepy now is kicking me squarely in the ass. have y'all been watching rock of love? it's not as bad a train wreck as flavor of love but it's just weird to watch. scott baio is 45 and single is much funnier. i did get to talk to Roaming Soldier the other day. well it was like 2 in the morning on Saturday but it was good. we talked about family and stuff before He had to go and made me go to bed. which i should start working on now too. y'all be good and keep me and my studying in your prayers lol. then maybe i can get back to the smut.
ETA i just HAD to add this as oh my god this whole trapped in the closet mess is freaking hilarious. chapters 13-22 will hit ifc.com on the 13/14 and the dvd itself will come out the week i take my exam. i might treat myself if i am up to giggling after the test.
Labels: life is good, videos
.:Thursday, August 02, 2007:.
-motivation-for those of you that visited my 360 blog lately you might be concerned about the blast that's posted there but they are a few lyrics from the song that i'm about to post in a second. just as a warning the song is a bit angry sounding rap music for those of you that don't like that kind of thing. i'm on the final countdown to taking my exam and this has been keeping me smiling as i bust through review after review. i'm a day behind on starting the exams but i finished the last section tonight in a marathon (well technically yesterday considering the time) session and was amazed by how much of it i remembered just outright and how much i disagreed with when i got to the section on the effects of divorce--hazard of doing your dissertation on that topic i guess. regardless that review gave me a needed "i feel smart" boost because this test is slightly overwhelming. trying to balance that with work, missing Him and the Littlest Soldier and taking care of mom and myself and i feel like i need a long nap. i'm taking the day off after my exam and maybe the monday after that but i'm not certain on that one yet.
on another note, i have started my healthier eating kick. wasn't so bad really. had some snacks that were low cal and properly proportioned. i need to work on making better dinners for myself but the lunch i had was great and also low calorie. i need to up the water intake from non existent to some lol and get back to working out. all in due time. the rest of this year is about taking better care of me so i can take better care of everyone else. okay i'm done, y'all be good.
Labels: life is good, videos
.:Thursday, June 28, 2007:.
-i'm so in trouble-and i deserve it. i haven't intentionally not studied but with the lovely cramping and being on call i just really haven't been focused on what i'm doing with my work. i will be able to buckle down again this weekend since i'm off call and have no standing engagements. i don't have to leave all weekend again and i should be able to get through another two or three sections at least. keep your fingers crossed for me because when He sees this then the spanking count that i don't like is going to go up. the other spanking count, you know the fun one, that one is great and all but the icky punishment one has been low and i appreciate that.
anyhoo, does anyone remember chick-o-sticks? those were the best things ever when i was little. the only time i can tolerate coconut is in chick-o-sticks. i've been using them to feed my sugar fix during this lovely period of the month. great but i'd prefer to have the big sticks instead of the individually wrapped bits. still it's been yummy yummy yummy in my tummy.
tonight was the end of the starter wife. not sure how many of you were watching it but i really liked it. i think i just really like debra messing and like to see what she can do with a role. it was a short summer series and while they wrapped it up all nice and stuff i would have liked to see it continue. i didn't watch the web episodes (webisodes for the technologically savvy) but i may watch them now. click HERE if you want to know what i'm talking about.
and finally i really like this song. it made me remember all the stupid men i have dated and recovered from lol. the video though is just damn twisted and strange. JT gets a little violent and Scarlett is looking very Christina Aguilera-ish during the whole thing. not that i don't think X-tina and the Timberman wouldn't be an interesting mix but she's very married and in wuv and he is dating Jessica Biel or the actress formally known as the church hottie (okay so maybe i was the only one that referred to her as such but they really made a big deal of her being uber hot when she was still on seventh heaven). if you want give it a watch but warning up front while the song is maybe 6 minutes and some change the video is almost 10.
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around...
Posted Feb 12, 2007Justin Timberlake has a wild love affair with Scarlett Johansson while performing an epic single at a stylized LA club.
.:Saturday, June 02, 2007:.
-welcome to the randomness redux-howdy folks. i haven't meant to be back in witness protection but i have needed to take heavy doses of drugs this week to keep from shooting at people. my pain threshold is abnormally high except a few days a month. then i just want to sleep and eat and watch things that make me cry. like the link right below. you can watch the whole episode but this is the best part and it just makes me go awww that right there is beautiful. now some will go what is she talking about? that woman left her wedding but if you watched the show at the time you'll know why it was so beautiful.
other than crying and watching sappy things i have been listening to Maroon 5's new cd it won't be soon before long which i love. it's not like their first cd at all really. songs about jane was more lovey dovey and sweet. it had moments of inspiration and it was light. this cd seems to have been written as an end to an intense love affair. of course it could just seem that way but it felt like i was walking through a complicated break up. anyway i really have like it especially track 4 which plays into my somewhat warped sense of humor. the song is called wakeup call but this is definitely not the kind of wake up most of us would want to have. it's very shit damn motherfucka for those of you that like d'angelo. but of course without the r&b spin that the resident voodoo child would have put on it. i got the disc at best buy so i got a 2 track bonus disc that i actually like those songs a LOT and felt like they should have been included on the main cd. the one at target apparently has dvd content so just think about which one is more important to you if you decide to pick it up and i have to say i can gladly recommend it.
moving on. i have been thinking about weddings and marriage and life and love and while i am sure that He is the man that i am meant to be with, i keep trying to put myself in check so that i can handle living day to day without Him here. i started new smut but He interrupted it and i haven't got around to finish it. i'll give you a hint though, it visit the letter I as i have been given the leftover vowels to work on. until then go read a cookie peddling story and if you are really nice i'll post the one that has been kept off the radar till now.
see ya
red
Labels: life is good, random, videos
.:Sunday, March 25, 2007:.
-welkom, willkommen, bienvenue, velkommen-clearly i'm in a good mood today even though i missed Roaming Soldier earlier. i had a sorority meeting and He logged on in the middle of it. but i got four hours out of the house and missing good bonding time with mommy kins. the meeting wasn't four hours lol but i was gone for a minute which was good. it's time for leftovers which is good because i wasn't in the mood to cook whatsoever. i missed Him though. i hate when we don't get to talk when He's finally able to get some time to speak to me. i know He loves me though as He told me so and stuff lol.
i've had some interesting dreams but nothing that needs to be analyzed at all. just weird clips of things falling into place that are random but nothing important. now i'm looking at grease you're the one that i want and i'm wondering why this hasn't gone off yet. i did watch a bit of miss usa last night (i think it was last night, could have been friday at this point) and was struck by how you can still skip most of the show and be utterly bored in 10 minutes before they announce the winner. if you like beauty pageants then i'm sorry for saying as much but good lord 10 minutes of strange questions, walking and prancing before a pretty arbitrary decision takes place is just not all that interesting. no i didn't have to watch but they let jerry springer judge which was funny and i'll have to admit to being fascinated by the host walking around on 5 inch hills when she is VERY VERY pregnant. ehhh yippee for miss tennessee (or should that be the former miss tennessee) who won.
nothing much is happening right around the moment. i've been watching silly things on tv and this clip of trapped in the drive thru by weird al which is just too silly. it's long though so if you click on it be warned. now something has come up the last week or so that made me go folks think too much. there's another clip floating around the net of a little boy dancing and singing songs by beyonce and there have been a plethora of comments about the boy, his parents, his sexuality and the like. the thing that makes me scratch my head is why any of that is necessary. most of us sang songs by our favorite artists when we were little. we were just lucky enough not to have parents with video cameras and net access. i didn't watch that clip in its entirety because well i hate beyonce's songs so i didn't feel like listening to it but i'm thinking it's just a little kid. leave the boy alone. i'd hate to have seen what prince would have been bopping around to at the same age in this day and time but i pray it wouldn't be beyonce lol. enjoy weird al though.
.:Sunday, February 11, 2007:.
-It's so amazing to be loved-you know it's been a long few weeks. i have been heavily committed to things and instead of waffling when i could have weasled out i have stepped up as much as i could and handled things accordingly. this of course has meant i haven't been home even when i wanted to be. i have had to rush and do things for myself because other things were requiring much more of my time than i wanted. a lot of things have made me question what i'm doing and why. but today, well yesterday at this point, two different things made go well damn that's why i do it.
to my utter amazement and gratitude to all the forces in the universe that made it possible but our sorority event went off with a few minor glitches but otherwise very smoothly. it was good, i liked my outfit and hair, folks thought i was cute which is always a plus and everyone there seemed to be having fun. we all pulled together as we should have and made it a good event. praise the Lord above for that one.
the second thing that happened was simple and precious and made me think of the title of this post. i got a mostly uninterrupted few hours to talk to Roaming Solider. after a long gap in between our last real conversation it was good to just be His little girl for a while. did we talk about anything earth shattering? nope not at all but i can't say that we ever really do. it's just us being mushy as my girls call it. but it's the most amazing thing to know that someone somewhere loves you and wants to spend the rest of their time on this earth with you. i mean i know staying in love is hard and requires a lot of work and effort that a lot of folks aren't always willing to put in. but at the same time the work doesn't really seem like work if you feel perpetually in sync with the other person. He can't necessarily read my mind but 90 percent of the time what is going on in His mind is going on in mind as well. that other 10 percent is just one of our brains catching up lol. i am a little under two weeks away from the anniversary of the day that changed my life in multiple ways. it could have been a day that was ruined for me lol as it started off with a "formal release" from a commitment that was only really keeping me in check and not us together. but by the time it was over i had the silliest goofiest grin on my face all because someone sent me a sweet and unexpected instant message. it was the most maginificent twelve hour emotional shift my brain has ever experienced lol.
i've been amply blessed this last year. i haven't had Him home which would have been icing on the cake and really He might not be around. i'm difficult as hell to deal with and i think this time apart has kept me from bolting just because i haven't been overwhelmed and frightened by the very real emotions that are being shared between us now. He is so wonderful, so amazing that i can't ever imagine not being here or experiencing this love right now. i'll see y'all later and for those that chat on yahoo with me please send me a message so you can see my new avatar ROFLMAO. ok y'all know i like to have music in the posts sometimes. the following link/window is a playlist i made for Him. tell me what y'all think.
Labels: Daddy, life is good, random, sappy, silly, videos
.:Friday, January 26, 2007:.
-U is for Unhinged-she had convinced Him to go out to a costume party with her for new year's eve. she figured they had been working hard enough and the kids were all staying over with their cousins for the night. He had no real desire to dress up but it was hard to tell her no when she looked up at Him the way only she could. she promised that He wouldn't have to do anything but get dressed and they could leave whenever He wanted. He saw friends once they arrived and relaxed that He wasn't the only man feeling a little out of place in their outfits. He was wearing a black pinstriped double breasted suit jacket that slipped past His waist just the perfect length. His shirt was a nice pristine white which set off the black tie quite nicely. His pants matched the jacket and had the sharpest creases He might have ever seen. The shoes were of course black, highly polished with a slightly pointed toe which along with the jet black trouser socks she found to go with the suit. The black fedora sporting a slightly wide white piece of white fabric encircling it and the mock mini machine gun He was sporting gave Him all the appearance of a 1940's mobster. It wasn't vintage because rarely would a man have been as tall as He was but she had gone to great lengths to mimic the look for Him which is why it didn't surprise Him when He saw her once she was ready.
she had spent a few hours at the hairdresser instead of her normal in and out but she rushed up to their oldest daughter's room to get dressed away from His prying eyes. When He finally saw her He was just a bit shocked. she was in some pretty basic three inch black heels, her skirt was incredibly fitted moving graciously over her curves and pulling her legs closer together as it reached her calves. she'd be able to walk freely but it would be at the mercy of the skirt. He saw what He thought might have been a corset inspired top peaking from the fitted short sleeved jacket she was wearing that stopped at her hips and a pair of dramatic black silk gloves. her hair was sculpted into nice soft waves until it came together in the back of her head where it was pinned into big ringlets and captured in the old fashioned netting women used to wear when they had expended so much effort into achieving that look. He was sure the stockings were just thigh highs but He didn't have time to inspect them right now. He did not that she had found the lined pair to go with the outfit. If the material wasn't so glossy and she wasn't so short and busty the outfits would have been mistaken for one another. He briefly had a flash of stripping her and fucking her on the steps before she planted a kiss on His cheek and said let's go.
The party was fun for both of them. Neither had dressed up and gone out in costume for quite a while. He even drug her out on the dance floor during one of the WWII USO inspired numbers from the band. When He was ready to go she happily followed Him out of the place and back to their car. He was exhausted when He pulled into the driveway. He figured they'd set up in the bed and she would giggle while they undressed and fell asleep. she pulled Him toward the basement and asked for His help for 10 minutes and then they could go up. she asked Him to sit in the chair she was normally strapped to and He gave her a raised eyebrow for a moment before agreeing to have a seat. He looked at the clock and told her she had 8 more minutes and then it was bedtime. she nodded and then flipped on a cd, "i don't think i'll need more than five minutes Daddy."
He thought she was just going to listen to the music loudly and then be ready to go upstairs. He was wrong. she sat on His desk and started pulling off her jacket then began lipsynching with the song.
her hands travelled over her breasts and over her lap when the word waist was uttered. she'd clearly been rehearsing this to get the timing right and He was both impressed and aroused. she slid off the desk and walked over to Him. she sank into His lap and kissed His neck and cheek as blow your mind cooed through the speakers. He tried to hold her to Him but she shook loose and pressed her fingers to His lips in time with the music. she wiggled in His lap as He heard the words put your icing on my cake flood into the room and rocked her ass up and down His dick before she stepped away from Him. she turned back to face Him and bent over at the waist to toy with the bottom of her skirt. she smirked as she looked at Him from that position and whispered along with the cd. "i need a spanking cause i've been bad," parted her lips as she slid the zipper up on each of the last three words until it opened up around her in her hands. she toyed with a bit before letting it fall. she pulled Him out of the chair to dance around with her for a bit as the singing stopped. she smiled as He heard someone else say Daddy and shook His head at her that she found this song. Just when He was starting to enjoy dancing around with her half naked she pushed Him away from her and onto the spot she had occupied on the desk. she sauntered over to Him and quickly unzipped the pants she had clearly studied before she gave them to Him to wear. she had her bottle in hand when the music ground out "blow your mind." she freed Him as the singer demanded another spanking and wasn't totally surprised when He acquiesced. He spanked harder in time with the taunting from the song. she took the opportunity to sneak her right hand underneath her and unzip the zipper on her top. when she rolled over after her spanking she covered her breasts in her hand asked Him to put some icing on her cake as He leaned over to kiss her and the final chords of the song ended.
When the kiss broke, she was gunning for the spanking and drilling of a lifetime. "see Daddy i told You i just needed five minutes."
"I got your five minutes baby. He picked her up off of His lap and placed her on the desk. He pinned her hands above her head by the wrists with His left hand. His right acted with assistance from her lower body and wiggled her out of the frilly panties she was still wearing. His fingers invaded her pussy as soon as it was exposed. she moaned and smiled at Him.
"i thought it was bedtime."
He bit into her breast then. "Daddy has the right to change His mind whenever He likes." He bit and suckled so long that the bruise was already angry and puffy when He kissed it and moved on to her neck. she was struggling a bit but it was to get more of His finges inside of her and not away from Him like normal. He let go of her arms and removed His hand from her creamy center. He unbottoned His pants so His dick wouldn't get caught in the zipper and then fed it to her while she lay back on the desk. For some reason unknown to either of them the very stylized appearance was making them both a little hyper. He pulled out of her mouth and that all too familiar pop sound happened as she never wanted to let Him go. He pulled her legs off the desk and pushed her face down on the nice sturdy furniture. He slid inside of her without a pause. He didn't grab her hair like normal but He got a bit of a death grip on her neck and smiled as she started to mewl for Him. He fucked her harder and enjoyed the string of guttural noises that were supposed to pass for words that were spilling out of her. she bumped into the remote for the cd somehow and it started up again. The flashback of her undressing and working Him like He was her own personal pole set Him off. He let go of her neck and grabbed her waist. He ripped into her body as fast as He could stand it then.
her body flexed and tightened around Him. she would cum as soon as He said it was okay to but for now she was enjoying being plundered. she tweaked her nipples as best she could from the position she was in. He asked her which slice of cake she wanted iced and she giggled. she turned to face Him once He pulled out of her and opened her mouth. He smiled and let her have her bottle. He watched her hand pump His dick ever so slowly and wait for the flood of nut to wash over her tongue. He let go of a nice steady stream until He was emptied for the moment. "I guess the creamy filling was put on just then," He said chuckling into the mostly quiet room. her eyes opened and danced with a bit of delight that she had been thoroughly fucked and filled up with His cum. He pulled her up to her feet and kissed her again. "I'm also going to have to watch you more carefully too. Whenever I leave you alone and think you are behaving you come up with things like this."
"am i in trouble Daddy?"
"None you can't work yourself out of darling," He said as He put His jacket around her and walked her up the stairs and to their bedroom.
Labels: alphabet game, Daddy, smut, videos
.:Tuesday, December 26, 2006:.
-A is for Abandon-Disclaimer: i hardly ever include the music that is playing in my head as i write some of these stories but for this one i feel compelled to. it's one of those strange songs that you either really like or really don't. turns out we both like the song primarily because, as badly adapted as the movie was, we both enjoyed Queen of the Damned which is where it came from. if you want to get inside what was going on in my brain then you should listen. if not then don't worry the words are still about the smutty imagination Daddy inspires.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It felt like they had been traveling for days. Well they had been traveling for days but this was the last stop on their second honeymoon. she had tried to put this vacation together for Him for years. she finally convinced Him that starting in the blistering cold Antarctic would be easier than trying to get there when they were both exhausted and too tired to even attempt to copulate on the first patch of ice they could reach. she chose this destination specifically because it was reminiscent of their honeymoon accommodations but darker and more suited to their play habits. The walls were all a nice rich mahogany. the curtains were drawn and were a dark win red color and made of a heavy fabric so if they didn't want to see any sun in the mornings they wouldn't have to at all. There were similarly colored curtains surrounding the bed but were much thinner. Well that is on the outside. When she crawled between the curtains the fabric was a dramatic white that seemed to make the oversized bed glow in light that was not really there. she moaned a bit as she felt the bedding caress her tired limbs. He was intrigued by the sound especially as He hadn't been the one to cause it so He decided to check on His wife.
"Did you start without Me again," He asked with a smirk on His face.
"of course not Daddy," she replied while pulling Him closer to her. "as long as You are within sight i have no need to start anything You can't finish." she kissed Him quickly and released her grip on Him as He lay on His side and waited for her to cuddle up to Him. she did what she knew was expected of her and nuzzled her head against His chest. He let out a similar moan as His frame started to adjust to the plush bedding. At least that's what they believed at the time. Something would happen in a few days that would convince them that their final destination had more secrets floating around it than they could have imagined. For now though all either of them could concentrate on was each other. her hands journeyed up His chest and settled around His neck. His mind said get the toys but His body felt like her hands were all over His body. He looked down to make sure but they were still firmly wrapped around His neck and she was licking His neck gently. her leg moved to cover His and He let His hand trail down her body until it was firmly clutching her thigh. her foot tucked itself between His legs and rubbed His calves while her mouth explored His neck and chest. They both let out contented sighs as He pulled away from her. He saw a nice entertainment system when they entered the room and He wanted to hear some music while He ravaged her today. He found the cd she made a few years ago. The music was dark and eerie but it resonated with something deep and powerful within her. He placed it in the stereo system and moved back through the curtains she had been holding open for Him.
As the music began to play, they tumbled with each other under the heavy covers. Neither of them recalled taking off their clothes but soon they were naked and pressed against one another. He was kissing her with a hunger neither had felt in a while. The exhaustion from the trip seemed to be falling off of them. her nipples were like little diamonds and were cutting into His skin. He wasn't used to being on the receiving end of the pain so it made Him chuckle a bit. He thought He heard her say "i'm glad You are happy Daddy" but she was panting beneath Him. His hands spread her legs and two of His fingers pressed into her pussy while His thumb massaged her clit. He heard an old 2pac song click into a Lisa Fischer ballad. her hands traveled along the length of the arm that was making her wet, urging Him deeper inside of her. When He took over for her own insistent hand, her fingers worked their way back up her body. One set came to rest on her right breast, tweaking her nipples and tugging on them while He watched from His position above her. The other set toyed with her neck and shoulder, applying pressure when it felt right to do so and casually lingering at other moments. An instrumental Santana tracked replaced Lisa and a few tracks from Prince's jazz cd came on after that. By now she had begun stroking Him into the most pleasant erection He had in a while. her mouth left His chest and kissed down His taut stomach, passed His belly button and settled briefly where His long legs met His hips. she crawled between His legs or tried to but she had been kissing Him with her head facing His feet so He yanked her on top of Him. His fingers pressed back into her very wet pussy while another arm pinned her to Him. her mouth toyed around His hips for a while until she heard Prince moan. she let her mouth sink down over His dick slowly. He joined Prince in the moaning for a while. Prince's instrumental version of "God" came on then and her mouth became one possessed. she was covering the length of Him with her tongue each time her head moved up and down. It was so soft at times it was like she wasn't touching Him and then at others it felt like she was trying to detach His dick from His body and leave it in her mouth like an all day sucker. Either way He was enjoying the benefit of the her oral fixation very much at the moment. He released into her mouth as the first song from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack began to play. she lapped it all up greedily as "Forsaken" filled the room.
It seemed as if the room had been waiting for something bizarre to start playing. As the lyrics got darker, their bed seemed to illuminate inside the curtains. The hands He had been vaguely aware of before felt like they were massaging His back now. They trailed down His body and gripped His thighs long enough for Him to think they were just His wife's hands. He knew where her hands were. It was a bit of sensation overload for Him but it would be worse for her the moment He flipped her over. her body fell into the sheets and the hands that had been exploring her husband were much more insistent with her pliable flesh. His head moved between her legs and His mouth clamped down around her clit. His fingers kept assaulting her pussy and she was on the verge of orgasm. He released her button long enough to tell her to she had permission to cum. The hands pressed into her lower back and she wanted to ask Him if He had felt them but her orgasm overtook her and she lost all conscious thought for a few moments. When her senses returned, He was climbing on top of her and "Redeemer" was coursing through the speakers. He grabbed her thighs as He inched inside of her. she moaned to the point it sounded like she was growling and her hands snaked under His arms to grab His back. her nails dug into His back as He dug further inside her walls. "System" started radiating from the stereo and both of them felt like their bodies were on fire. He fucked her slowly, trying to extinguish the heat but it only made things worse. she felt like a pool of molten lava around His dick. He wanted to stay in that warm place as long as He could but His conscious mind told Him they would eventually have to leave their confinement of their curtained off bed. He heard her voice again, telling Him they could stay there as long as He wanted. He whispered okay baby back to her and she looked confused but just took it as a cue that He had something else in store for her that she hadn't caught on to yet.
The room flooded with the last song on the cd, His brain thought He'd have to get up and change the cd soon. "Change" was the one song they both remembered as being rather sexually charged from the movie. she loved it because it made her feel like fingers were tapping her skin and moving directly into her pleasure receptors. she wasn't sure why He enjoyed it but His body always responded to her in a delightful way. His left hand pinned hers together above her head. The singer was almost whispering the line that always made her pussy jump.
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
she wasn't sure why that verse made her so hyper but it always did. This time He was the beneficiary of her highly suggestive body. her pussy clenched around Him and released as the drums pounded away in the background. His right hand pressed down on her thigh as He invaded her pussy more aggressively. The chords drifted away and He thought about changing the music but the song started playing again. He didn't question it long because her tongue was flitting out of her mouth reaching for Him. He kissed her again and as He did it felt like they were sinking into the bed. Each of them felt enveloped by the nice soft mattress and sheets but it only seemed to make them both more energetic. she bit into His bottom lip and He moaned as His dick slammed into her pussy and paused. His dick throbbed inside of her and she wanted to feel Him explode inside of her. she bucked up into Him and He chuckled a nice throaty laugh as she did it again and flipped Him over onto His back. The bed released them and seemed to sigh as the lovers did. He released her hands and sat up to suckle her nipples as she rocked back onto His dick. The song ratcheted up in intensity again and made her body feel like liquid. she wrapped her hands around the back of His head and pulled His mouth closer to her chest. He felt a familiar pressure grab at His dick and watched her as she began trembling and her movements got a little more focused. she pushed Him away from her nipple which He let got reluctantly, holding it in His teeth until she cried out in pain and His head hit the pillow. her hands planted on His chest and she raised her ass up slowly and repeatedly a few inches before repeating the procedure. His breathing caught and got gruff and she felt His dick begin to throb inside of her. The end of the song was beginning and their orgasms fell in step with it. she let go first and her pussy fluttered around His dick until she felt the contractions stop and she collapsed on His chest. His arms hugged her to Him as He raised them both up a bit and brought her down onto His dick until it had stopped pulsing and had deposited a nice sticky stream of His nut inside of her.
I've watched you change.
Now you feel Alive
You Feel Alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh
The final words came washing over them and they both sighed peacefully. They figured they should get up and get something to eat. Room service ended at nine according to the girl at the reception desk. They came up at six thirty and the cd wasn't that long so they both knew they had time. Except the clock was inching towards ten when they came from between the curtain. They both looked at one another and shook their heads. Maybe the clock had been set incorrectly because they couldn't have been in bed for three hours without them realizing it. He called the front desk to ask if it was too late to have something brought up to them.
The young woman responded very politely, "Sir room service has closed for the night but considering the circumstances we can bring up something if you would like."
"What circumstances?"
She laughed but did not respond to His question. He ordered and the food came up surprisingly quickly. They ate and giggled with one another forgetting about the strange conversation with the front desk or why the time seemed to fly by in that bed.
Labels: alphabet game, Daddy, smut, videos
.:Monday, December 25, 2006:.
-merry christmas-okay this post probably won't be that long. i finished my desserts for tomorrow. an amaretto white chocolate pecan pie and muffins i made from my cream cheese poundcake batter. it ended up making twelve largish muffins and only cooked for an hour. i can remember that for small parties in case i need to frost a few or put something special in certain cups for different folks. my domestic side is coming out lol. i've been cleaning up and getting rid of the stuff i don't need. i also finally started using the shredder i bought many moons ago to get rid of important documents as safely as possible.
my brother and sister in law have crossed into the age bracket that folks automatically assume it's okay to start asking you when are you going to have kids totally neglecting the fact that they don't have to take care of the crumbsnatchers if you are nice enough to oblige them by having some before the next major family gathering. i gave them my old lines--if you keep them till they are potty trained i will happily assist you with that OR i'm entirely too selfish to share my sleep with another human right now--and told them to give folks cookies and ask them to sit down. other than that it's a good day around this way. i haven't talked to Roaming Soldier but i know He is safe and i know that He loves me. what else could a girl want? okay hug your families, i'll bother ya after my food induced coma wears off.
oh and if you have any desire to know my favorite christmas song click below. love ya
red
forgot to mention, this was my 400th post lol
Labels: life is good, videos
.:Saturday, December 23, 2006:.
-waving goodbye to 2006-well it's not quite Christmas yet but it's time for the annual reevaluation of life, love and all that is wonderful and all the crap that transpired this year. this will be like all the other evaluation posts i do--long winded and full of videos or music. this year was one for the record books as far as my life is concerned. i'm a few days shy of when my mother moved in and made me fall off the map with friends and family. she hadn't put a strain on my "relationship" with Emperor but then again she didn't have to. he was off exploring other avenues and i just hadn't quite picked up on that yet. i hear music that is perfectly fitting a situation more often than not well after the situation has passed. four songs come to mind now as i think of Emp and nope not one of them is a prince song lol. the first is bitter by chante moore--really just because of the line about i hate your dog, i won't elaborate beyond that lol. the next is hate me today by blue october--knowing the real meaning behind the words doesn't make me appreciate it any less than i did before. walk away by kelly clarkson because i mean really if you don't know what you want how can i help you? and finally justin timberlake's what goes around comes around. the link to hear it is below this section. it's a long song because a break down is included at the end of the song but really it's my favorite part of the song. the burning ache in my chest went away quickly thank God but he was part of the first two months of 06 for me and i was disappointed things happened they did.
but if i thought that would be the most eventful part of my year i was wrong. there was much more fighting to do with mom than i could imagine. trying to have a roommate after not sharing space with anyone from the age of 18 was a bit of an adjustment. she's a lovely woman and i know she means well but lord every now and then i wish i could just have some peace and quiet--like now--to get my thoughts together and not have to take care of anyone but me. so for mom a nod to her ringtone and marvin gaye.
she did derail my energy and motivation a bit from time to time which pissed off both myself and my dissertation chair to a certain degree. i hate not finishing things and it puts me in a bad mood to not get things done on my schedule. i had friends postpone about three graduation trips because of my own inability to get stuff taken care of when i should have. but as they say there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. "breaking up" with Emperor spurred a lot of work to get done and then just my own stubborness to get the monkey off my back caused me to stop screwing around and get things taken care of. thank heavens for that because now my life is my own again. this year, much like my time in undergrad showed me i had the balls to do whatever i needed. enjoy a bit of christina and join me in fighting lol.
work was work and it's one of those things that made me glad i had supportive people around me but reminded me about how different really i am from those folks around me. not just in the sense that i'm the only black woman on staff or i'm a bit younger than most of them. it's just a mindset thing--beyond needing to get spanked lol--that doesn't make me want to settle down here and set up shop. here's a video for you.
the biggest change this year was realization that it was time to get my life back into balance. i have been working at my job, on my dissertation, taking care of my mother and doing all that while holding my love life at bay. i think i lept at Emperor so gladly last year because it was my first foray back into having something that was good for me. regardless of how it turned out the cracks that were present were about there still not being enough of a balance. our needs never matched up enough for that relationship to come to any fruition. i had four walls to sleep in, a few dozen walls to work in but nothing to make my life a full experience for me.
as soon as my brain processed what i needed and what it was that i really wanted i was blessed with the most wonderful Man i have had the pleasure of knowing. i really can't muster up the words correctly so i am going to ask that you listen to tamia.
now when it comes to Roaming Soldier i was not expecting Him or His presence in my life this year. i periodically think i must be dreaming because after a few decades of dating and coming up with squat for it you start to get a little jaded about the whole experience. i mean i still had friends that were were inspiring me to keep hope alive but i wasn't looking very hard at that point. even though He's away and really i don't know when He'll be able to climb into bed with me and start working through the smutty collection with me He has been a total and complete Godsend that i am thankful for each night. press play and enjoy babyface.
the other thing that happened this year was me getting refocused on my responsibility to the rest of the world lol. nope i can't save it and nope i can't fix it for everyone around but i can do my part here and there. i will get back into my volunteer work and continue my sponsorship of my kid in the Phillipines. until they let me take over the world it's the least i could do.
i'm finally turning into that woman i wanted to be when i was itty bitty. i'm happy with my life and my love and my plans for the immediate future. there's no more confusion about why i'm not where i want to be. i know now if i'm not what i want to be it's mostly on me. i can be whomever i want and do whatever i want. i can be the soccer mom if the kids want to do that and still come home, put the corset on over the white t-shirt and and shake my ass in front of Him after we get the kids to bed. i'm a big girl like that lol.
okay i'm done looking back over the year. the rest of the songs will be random sappy happy songs because that's the place i'm in this year. i hope the year was good to all of you but if it wasn't that you have a much more blessed 2007. starting off the hit parade with beautiful loved and blessed.
Labels: Daddy, introspective, life is good, random, silly, videos
.:Wednesday, December 13, 2006:.
-what did you eat before bed?-the last few nights have been interesting, to say the least, in the mind of red. as i've gotten closer and closer to graduation (and my birthday yippee!) my brain has ventured further and further off my typical stressful dreams momentarily interuppted by strange events or kinky thoughts about Roaming Soldier. the last two nights to be precise have started off pretty normal only to turn into these intensely steamy sexual situations with literally no prompting. i've been super tired the last few nights so i've even managed to fall asleep early and it hasn't helped a bit in staving off the damn near pornographic images (even though last night had porn stars in it) from flooding my brain. normally when i have weird dreams people ask what i had to eat before i went to bed. well monday i had an orgasm and last night i had some ice cream but that's it. now where was i? okay so smutty dreams that don't start off that way. and there's no cheesy porno type lead in. i'm just minding my business and then boom naked and enjoying myself.
monday night i dreamt about being on a talk show with my girlfriends from undergrad. doesn't start off too bad. one is pregnant so she's at home getting ready to have her kid. the other three of us are sitting around talking about relationships, kids and sex potentially but nothing too intense. i'm getting bored, but i do that because i periodically have the shortest attention span known to man, and am very glad when someone finally yells cut and lets us leave for the day. i kiss them goodbye and hop in my car to head home. the driver pulls off and this is where it gets blurry. either i'm having sex with Roaming Soldier in the back of the limo while people are watching us or someone that RS knows is having sex with me while He watches and critiques the performance. now that first one is off in far far away land as far as potential to happen is concerned. that second one ROFLMAO i would absolutely stunned if RS was ever that willing to share His little girl. okay so yeah i wake up and shake my head after that and wonder what exactly brought that on.
last night i was in my house. nice huge house with a master bedroom that was so luscious i can see never wanting to leave it. the bathroom, only a girl who enjoys being in nice hot showers or long warm soaks could appreciate fully, was stunning and i found myself playing around in there longer than i anticipated. my husband, at least i am thinking it's Roaming Soldier but this person doesn't fit the height requirement lol, walks up behind me and starts hugging me at first. before i know it He's groping whatever He can get His hands on and then we're messing around on the floor before i go after my bottle. i'm enjoying it, He's DEFINITELY enjoying it and so for a moment we don't notice the bathroom door has opened and His friend is trying to pull me towards him and shove himself down my throat. i looked over at RS, who at this point is starting to look like Brian Pumper for some damn reason, and He still has His eyes closed i guess thinking i was going to get something to toy with Him with. the friend had been watching us and was close to getting off which is apparently why he wanted my mouth. before he could get it across my lips good RS got up and yanked him out of the bathroom and shut and locked the door. the friend is complaining that he was almost done and RS basically tells him that if he doesn't get away from the door in the next five seconds that He would be forced to hurt him. the interruption now over, i crawled over to Him and started sucking on my bottle again before i woke up--again shaking my head. anyone got any ideas what that's all about besides me being horny and wanting Him home?
all right moving on. i swear i hear and see the strangest things sometimes. now i don't hate kanye west but i would have to think twice about saving him if it meant he would keep putting out badly named records (i mean shouldn't you register late for classes BEFORE you drop out of college?). so imagine the giggle on my face as i read the article linked here (please click on the word here in bold to read the article). kanye done pissed off evel knievel and yes i meant to type it just like that lol. oh the giggles the giggles i tell you.
last night i watch the unit for a change instead of criminal intent. don't get me wrong i love CI but i hate it when bobby's not on there and he hasn't been on for a few weeks now. i know they brought back these other characters to give bobby a break but damn it i want bobby lol. okay moving on. it was a good storyline last night for both of the subplots. i enjoyed them both and i love looking at Jonas Blane and i guess it gave my Molly moments a boost. the whole black ops storyline was good too and i'm thinking our hapless pilot will be back on another episode.
Labels: dreams, random, smut, videos
.:Tuesday, December 12, 2006:.
-lol a present for y'all-i'm okay, just nothing on my mind except Roaming Soldier so i won't belabor that with y'all right now. enjoy the clip. the subtitles usually annoy me but given the accent she was working with they will be helpful for those of you that don't speak english as a native language and heck some of you that do lol.
.:Saturday, December 09, 2006:.
-i love this song and i miss Him-i don't have a lot to say tonight. it was a long day, productive but long. still no sign of the box and no sign of the letters He sent. i did get another letter calling me dr. velvet which made me scratch my head again. it's just random and it will take some getting used to. don't get me wrong i'm glad to be done but it's a little anti-climatic. it's been a huge focus and weight on my shoulders for five years and now in eight days i'll be in a fluffy hat and velvety sleeved robe waiting for my uber long hood to be put around my neck and draped down my back. ok that was so off tangent it is out of control. but really nothing much is going on red velvet land. i really just want to go to sleep and wake up with Him but since that won't be happening i'll just go back to vegging out until i put mom on a plane tomorrow.
love ya all
red
.:Sunday, December 03, 2006:.
-where or where did red velvet go-i swear i didn't mean to vanish. between being horny and the snow and annoyance at my office i was distracted. i killed more kittens lately than i have in quite a while and there was still so much work to freaking do that really i wanted to throw a tantrum and turn into the next Cyndi Sheehan. "bring back my Dom, bring back my Dom!" but i figured that would probably end up getting Him in unneccessary trouble so i just took out another kitten. the sleet and rain came down on thursday before turning into snow and making sure i didn't have to go to work on friday. but i still had to drive out of town and surprisingly most of the highway was clear in my immediate area and then outside of the city it was great. i spent the last two nights there and whenever i thought about blogging i went "eh no" and decided not to. i was in a meeting for about twelve hours yesterday which was fine all in all. it was a good meeting and i left being rejuvenated but entirely too tired to drive home. hotel bed was good again. but the best part of being gone was just getting some rest and some quiet. okay that wasn't the best thing. the best thing was an unexpected--aren't they all unexpected at this point?--and too short conversation with Roaming Soldier. it was perhaps the last time that i was incredibly horny and able to talk to Him and i have to blame the song that you can click below. i have this oral fixation that is acting up so badly right now. when i heard the end of this song it just made things worse and i told Him about it. bad little girl i know but He was happy that my mind was spinning in that direction and still focused on Him. so yeah the kitten that died today died because i was thinking about my bottle and Him and all the different ways that could make Him very happy. anyway go enjoy the music and Daddy if You are able to click the link just remember what i said the other night. just need You home and we are gonna have so much fun.
Labels: dead kitties, introspective, life is good, silly, videos
.:Sunday, October 08, 2006:.
-trying to find my way home-i can actually swear upon a stack of whatever religious text you like that this post will ROAM all over the universe. i'll tell you this up front. there are lyrics to Stephanie Mills Home at the end of the post. and right after that feel free to click on the little video window and listen to i never knew love like this before. good song, not what i was looking for lol but good song. okay shall we begin?
the end of my academic career is in sight and i am so tickled i can't even speak to it. my job may subsidize the whole trip in which case can we say tickled squared because i still need to make copies of my dissertation on the nice heavy weight paper and what not. not a huge expense but on top of being in town for a week and the flight and a car we're talking another expenditure that i'd rather just leave as small as possible. even though i might be able to use the grant i got and never put in for reimbursement for. good lord so much to do with that. but when it's all said and done i get to come back here and start my life as a nearly full fledged grown up. still gotta get licensed but hey whatever. for some reason i have yet to call this place home. i refer to my apartment when i say "i'm going home" but really i haven't felt centered enough to call any place "home" in years. that has intrigued and disturbed me but as of this moment i still don't have an answer as to why that is.
i went out to look at a house today with my mother. the hosue was in bad shape and was probably very pretty once upon a time but it just looks neglected and lonely now. it made me a little sad but the drive home raked my nerves. she is insufferable when it comes to "buying a house" as our only alterantive when we move out of this spot, and believe me we will be moving out of this hellhole, and anything else seems to annoy her. we have different ideas of what can be called home but at the same time, as i already mentioned, these places we live aren't home for me. for her it's a house or nothing and part of me just wants to pack up her crap and let her go wherever she wants. having a house just for the sake of having one makes no sense to me especially since i can't say for certain i want to stay here. and if i do find a house that i like and want to invest time in making my own is that unfair to Roaming Soldier and Littlest Soldier who were happily based several states away from here before they were separated?
well that brings me to the next thing. i love Him. in Him my heart has finally found a home. my heart knows as long as He's around it's safe and we are good together. however, my life post Middle East diversion, is all up in the air. we could stay here which i am sorta voting against because the tv here is all screwed up and the city itself is not conducive to my happiness. the good food is 30 minutes one direction as is the good shopping and the new cheap housing. my job is most assuredly 30 minutes the other direction. driving out of town is a required mountain trek and really that's just not attractive anymore. heading to His home base is another alternative except i am not all that fond of the city either. it's expensive, traffic is crazy and it's a bit on the crowded side. so that's two cities down and then what?
there's always let's find a mutually agreeable location solution. but do i really want the hassle of selling a house if that's the option we take? the most honest answer is HELL NO. but that isn't an acceptable reason to not buy the house to my mother. again why i'm even altering this much of my life is crazy but if i don't then i am being incredibly discourteous to the woman that raised me even though she is being equally discourteous and unreasonable. but even if we talk door number three there's this other issue that i have been aware of and may be why no place is ever really "home."
i was a military brat for the first decade of my life. we moved every two years no matter what or how i felt about it. for some reason it annoyed me when i was very young but i got the itch to move every few years since i reached adulthood. i don't get attached to places i sleep. i get attached to the people in them but not to the places our keys open at the end of the day. it protected me as a child from being split in two when we were forced away from everyone and everything i had come to know over that time period. my mother moved because she wanted to get further and further away from a certain segment of people (you fill in whatever blank you want to here) so even after my parents split i had ten different addresses between then and now if i used her as a home address. i've had three of my own and now i'm looking for the fourth. i don't think i'll call a spot home until He's in it with me in whichever city is blessed enough to have us.
part of that "home" will of course be Him physically with me to touch me, make me smile, and curl up with me at the end of the night. the other part will be something that has come up in a few posts on various blogs i read and on listservs prior to now. well it's a series of things so i'll start and again keep rambling. the first part is sort of like the whole chicken and the egg debate. which one came first and can we have one without the other? can we as submissives exist without our Doms and conversely can they exist without us? sure they can and we can. i mean we as individuals will keep breathing. but without that foil in our lives can we be true to who we are as individuals? i really have felt awakened and firing on all cylinders since i actively started seeking out the Dominance i was lacking in other relationships. it's rounded out my mindset in away i appreciate. was Roaming Soldier living His life quite happily without me? umm of course He was, Littlest Soldier is a treat and a half. have i added another layer to that happiness? by all reports yes. we can peacefully exist without that complimentary partner but life has been so much more interesting with Him around. as an extension of that, i know that i have been living under my rules for a while now but i do so because i choose to at the moment not because He's physically around to keep me on task. and while i like pain i am adverse to punishment lol. i can be a smartass, and i am when it's cute and flirty, i try to stop just short of being worried if i'll be able to sit on my ass the next day. this begs another question. when is it okay for us to "go there" with our Doms when the only real reason we are doing it is to get what we want IMMEDIATELY? i'm not talking about something that needs to be attended to like finances or the kids. i mean more like "damn i sure could go with a spanking right now." i know a lot of this will be determined by our Doms and what they will or won't tolerate. i guess i'm wondering because really i try to respect the boundaries we have established by the nature of the roles we play in the situation. now if He's wrong of course i'll be the first to share and then take my spanking like the trooper i am for not finding the politest way to tell Him He was wrong. i'm blunt to a fault so unless i take time to think about it that will most definitely create a spanking moment. what does any of this have to do with "home?" well it's sorta simple. our home is under His guidance and protection. that involves negotiating boundaries and rules comfortable for both of us and then both of us keeping our end of the bargain. as stressed as i am when i get home, i don't want to think about how to get my spanking lol and i know He won't always recognize when i need to be sent into subspace to release some tension but i don't want to get into bad habits of forcing His hand because one of those times i REALLY may not like the outcome. if i trust Him enough to submit to Him, shouldn't i also trust Him enough to learn my ebbs and flows and use me as He sees fit? ahh well i told y'all i was going to be rambling.
in a few months (not few as in two but few as in whenever He gets back we'll try to forget about this time), i hope to be able to tell you all somewhat more definitely that i am finally at home. i'll keep you posted.
love ya
red
When I think of home
I think of a resting place
A place where theres peace, quiet, and serenity
And thats where some of my friends have gone
Friends who have traveled with me through my wonderful experience in Oz
A journey Ill never forget
When I think of home, I think of a place
Wheres theres love overflowing
I wish I was home, I wish I was back there
With the things Ive been knowing
Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning
Suddenly the raindrops that fall they have a meaning
Sprinklin the scene
Makes it all clean
(When I think of home)
Maybe theres a chance for me to go back
Now that I have some direction
(Maybe theres a chance Ill get home)
It sure would be nice to be back at home
Where theres love and affection
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Givin me enough time, ooh, in my life to grow up
Time be my friend
And let me start again
Suddenly my worlds gone and change its fate
And I still know where Im going
I have had my mind spun round in space
And watched it growing
And oh, if youre listening, God, please dont make it hard
To know if we should believe the things that we see
Tell us should we try and stay or should we run away (Should we run away)
Or will it be better just to let things, let them be, oh
Livin here in this brand new world
Might be a fantasy
But its taught me to love, oh, yeah
And its real, its so real, its real to me
And Ive learned that we must look
Inside our hearts to find
A world full of love
Like yours, like mine
Like home
Like, like home
(When I think of home)
My friends smilin down on me
Givin me their energy, oh
(When I think of home)
I think of a peaceful world and joy
All around me, yeah
(When I think of home)
And love that we share can never
Never, ever be taken away from me, yeah, yeah, yeah
(When I think of home)
I just sit down and think
And gets on down in my bone, bone, yeah
(When I think of home)
I can hear my friends tellin me
Stephanie, please sing my song
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna tell you what its all about
Get music codes at Bolt
Labels: life is good, sappy, videos
.:Thursday, September 07, 2006:.
-video killed the radio stars-or happy 350th post! okay this post will be a little different. you don't have to watch the videos but it would make all of the babbling make sense as i move along. okay the last 349 posts will somewhat be encapsulated in these videos. feel free to hum along, laugh at me, or otherwise enjoy yourselves. shall we begin?
this whole blogging experience has just been surreal. the folks i have gotten to know. the folks that i have gotten rid of. the folks that have comforted me or let me into their lives as a result of the words they see here have been a whirlwind. it's been great though which is why i chose the song above this one. a big swirl of activity but nothing i'd ever regret.
there have been moments where events, people, or the combination have damn near shut me and this blog down. while i would post in the meantime, my patience is not the greatest and i think i was talking myself into remaining in the world at large not just the blogosphere. but i have to say after all is said and done it has made me stronger and more assure of what i want and don't want and what i can reasonably take in my life. enjoy the clip above.
sometimes it's good for me to remember that while i can maintain lower stress levels by letting some crap go, i have to seize opportunities when they come. not only seize them but enjoy the process. i did that about seven months ago and look where it's taken me. enjoy the clip above.
hey let's face it i'm a goofball, a horny goofball, but still a goofball. i love this song and it's message. we need to stop animal abuse---well except the kittens---click away to see how you can help.
skipping back a bit that seven month ago thing brought me a nice sweet kinky man who made me appreciate the song above in a whole new way.
thinking about Him too much can make me sad but it's only cause He's not here to help me rip off my corset like in the video above.
but when i get too sad i just think of what He's added to my life since He's entered it. i heard and loved this song a while back BUT again having someone who makes you hear music differently is a treat. it's not that i heard the song differently more than i can see where Ms. Anita is coming from now. girl loves her man, i concur.
it will be the simple things i appreciate more when He gets home than anything else. a Sunday morning in bed snuggling would be lovely. clickey clickey.
it would be even more lovely if we spent the Saturday night before in bed like this lol which brings me to the end of my video recap. life has been a treat and i only expect it to get better. tell me what ya think if you made it all the way down here and watched a few videos.
Labels: videos
.:Saturday, September 02, 2006:.
-feeling silly and petty lol-okay so i don't really have a lot on my mind today. i wrote Him some brand new shiny smut that i may or may not share after He reads it. i actually wrote two pieces. the second is a maybe share, the first is just for Him. not sure how many ones you all have missed that way. i know my first letters to Him were full of the smut to keep Him entertained during basic. and i know at least one other cookie peddling moment is on ice as a for His eyes only thing. it did inspire that girl scout shopping spree and the sash is too cute i swear. but i digress. every now and then things have to shelved so He knows that no matter how much of our lives i share here that when head hits pillow i belong to Him. okay moving on.
blondies with nuts, heath toffee bits and white chocolate chips+ caramel crunchy ice cream = damn good eating.
i got to talk to the Littlest Soldier today. she's so freaking cute it's out of control. the Miss Red isn't bothering me nearly as much now and i know it's just cause she's being respectful. and she gave me a hug before she logged off it was perfectly adorable.
green lantern has kept me laughing at her as has Night Owl. both of you better take care of yourselves or imma have to keep myself entertained and that is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much work.
no kittens have died today BUT that's just because i've been acting like i have ADD and keep getting distracted when i want to take them out. just wait my little pretties it will be all done soon.
now that i have run through all of the silly stuff, it's time for the petty. i have been thoroughly enjoying the video i'm about to post in a second. not just because it reminded me of a few ex's but because it's sarcastic and the person singing has made more than a few folks cranky. maybe i feel a certain kinship to being able to engendering such emotion in others ROFLMAO. anyway, enjoy and as always be good or be good at it.
love ya
red
Labels: introspective, videos
.:Saturday, August 26, 2006:.
-this is me, deal with it-i wanna be a little pissy today but truth be told i can't. i have made my peace with nearly every relationship that has ended over the last year or so. i don't hate anyone but i'm not exactly looking to build any bridges with them either. the entry and exit out of my life has been for a reason and i respect whatever Higher Power has deemed it so. that may change in the future but it may not. the people that are in my life now, few in number though they are, i know love me and have my back and that's all that matters. i know that people, particularly women, don't understand me on a basic level. i am simultaneously flirty as all hell, smart as i wish to share, reserved, respectful of myself and relationship boundaries and expressing no real desire for assistance or bonding time with most women. why might you ask? well because they are catty and paranoid entirely too much. men might have the emotions but they don't share them with me, at least not very long because i get rid of folks that can't trust me, and that's why as a whole we get along much better. will i flirt with your man? depends on how i know him. if YOU are my friend of course not, that's violating girlfriend boundaries. if HE is my friend, probably but it's nothing either one of us take seriously. 99 percent of the time any conversation i'm having with ANY man i know is directed toward his relationship if he's in one. if he's not then we joke around like the kids did in Cruel Intentions. by that i mean, it can be sexual but most of it is jabbing at one another to see who says uncle first and at NO moment in time is anyone making plans to figure out if slot a will fit in slot b. yeah it can appear naughty to someone looking in from the outside and without knowing me personally but trust your loved ones to not violate your agreements whatever they may be as i won't be assisting them with trying to step out on you. at the end of the thought, conversation, day whatever my heart and soul belong to someone else.
my Roaming Soldier, wonderful man that He is, is unavailable for a few days and somehow knowing that makes it slightly better but of course i want Him home. i've been keeping a journal of our communications from the beginning till now. not sure why but it seemed important for me to do after we knew He had to leave. six months of exchanges between us has yielded 264 single spaced pages with jacked up margins (just reformated to see what it would be like on word default settings 306 pages lol so yeah the margins are retarded). the binder the journal is in probably will get us through another few months and then it will have to be retired. if we eliminate some of the naughty bits ROFLMAO it may be a sweet gift for the kids we are thinking about having. this is how your parents fell in love with one another, during a stupid war sharing each other's words and dreams. Night Owl just said we can't talk anymore lol but as long as He's home before we hit 1000 pages i won't have to hurt anyone.
let's take a moment of silence here for all the kittens that left the earth this afternoon. okay that's enough of that. i'd been feeling decidely unsexual the last few days. the nervous energy has subsided and so my need to orgasm became paramount again. however, it required me to go on a battery changing spree as i had apparently exhausted the toys prior to this morning. once they were back up to full strength i had a lovely time. one device is remotely controlled and has a timer. four minutes after it was on, i was off and floating. i will hate to see what He does when that when He gets home. thankfully He's not into orgasm control or else i'd be in SOOOOOOOOO much trouble. all right i think i'm done for now. i still need to figure out what i want for dinner and decide if today is a shaving day or not. all right, see ya.
red
eta for the nice tall Man in my life
Labels: videos
.:Thursday, August 24, 2006:.
-discombobulated brat on the loose-if you want a nice well thought out post this is probably not the one to start reading. i am scattered. the framework is back up and life has resumed in a way that would make Molly proud BUT i feel all jumbled up at the same time. i know with great certainty that He is my future, it's my present needs some fine tuning. i'm not sleeping--well if at all. i'm not unhappy but i'm not particularly on top of the world either. i'm just sort of here. i love my clients but my job is taxing my patience. i keep hearing this song and it makes me think of the people that are no longer in my life for whatever reason. listening to the lead singer explain it from his point of view--the song is about forgiveness--doesn't make me think any less about why i have to hate someone to finally extricate them from my life. okay hate is strong. i have to get to the point that like in the song i'm wondering "how could you do this to me?" i'm by no means a saint but i try to treat people well so when i'm treated badly it throws me off to the nth degree. now some folks will have various opinions on that treating well thing. i'm not the sugar coating friend to be sure but i am the friend that will pick up the phone at 3 am, knowing i just fell asleep at 1 and have to be up by 7, just to make sure that you have a friendly voice when you need it. i don't expect it in return and honestly i probably wouldn't take anyone up on the offer. i clearly don't keep things in lol as you can tell from this rambling but i don't share everything with everyone. no reason i can't i just won't.
i still feel Him at night. His hand at the small of my back gives me comfort even when i do toss and turn for hours. and then i hug up with Daddy bear and snore until the morning. as i was driving home tonight from getting my hair done, it's very cute by the way, i heard the aforementioned song and then i heard Nickelback's new one--Far Away and it made me think of Him. i didn't include the whole set of lyrics but the snippet that was most important to me is at the bottom of this post along with a quick clip from the video. it made me go looking for another song by 3 Doors Down, when i'm gone, because it stirs up the same emotion for me. but listening to it i realized something wasn't quite right about the thought i was trying to convey. i clicked on the first video at the bottom only because i liked it too and wasn't planning on doing anything with it but it fit more to the mindset i'm having right now. again the whole set of lyrics isn't there just the most relevant piece with the entire video. is my life over because He's not here? no, of course not. would i be immensely happier if He were? i'm about 99 percent sure the answer would be yes but damn i would be pissed about having to work and not being able to work through at least half of the cookie peddling stories. that brings me to the last bit of rambling i THINK.
i need a spanking. not a quick swat on the ass. i need a put me through my paces evening. it's been months since i was used and now i feel like a bundle of nerves and tense and i'm getting bratty. but beyond that i'm pouting like an insolent child and that is even getting on my nerves. i want to go searching for my safeword even if i never use it. i want to be sore and bruised and smile that smile that only someone that enjoys this life can truly understand. even thinking about it now makes me grin a bit. but i'm not sure how to cure the restlessness right now. any ideas? k, i'm done now.
talk to ya soon,
red
Here Without You
Lyrics from 3 Doors Down's Away from the Sun
I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
Far Away
Lyrics from Nickelback's All The Right Reasons
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go
Labels: introspective, life is good, videos
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Name::red velvet
From::Pleasure, Pain, United States
Yes i really AM a Black woman. i am a masochistic submissive who will perpetually find herself in service to a sadistic Dom. He makes all of this make sense. Because of the experiences i've had, i'm quite positive that when and if i marry it will be to someone that is my Dom/Daddy/Master whatever you want to call it. That may not be anytime soon but 24/7 is what i'm looking for in the future.
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