.:Saturday, December 29, 2007:.
-google's i feel lucky-every now and then i love google. before when you typed in weapons of mass destruction and then hit i feel lucky instead of search a very humorous error page showed up. tonight in my insomnia fit i typed in marry me and i feel lucky. the first thing that came up was this graphic comic that is hilarious. it's not over so now i have to keep going back to check on what happens with Ana, Guy, Parker and Jany because i'm anal like that. hope you enjoy it and if you don't you only wasted 10 or so minutes of your life. you weren't doing too much with them anyway lol.
http://www.marrymemovie.com/
.:Tuesday, December 25, 2007:.
-merry christmas lol-i will post something with more substance later
.:Sunday, September 09, 2007:.
-i've been a bad bad girl-okay so not really and hold on for a second let me see something. everytime i say i've been a bad bad girl i think of the video right above this. my days of breaking a boy just because i can have long since faded. i don't deal with men that i can break or easily manipulate anymore. it's actually boring being able to get exactly what you want constantly. well at least it was for me. it's fun for like a week and then it dawned on me that the boy in question would do anything i said including some things i'd never do for him so i'd look to replace him with someone that would prove to be a bigger challenge. of course this was all about a decade ago at this point but yeah i still think of that song. thanks to one of my friends i also have another song stuck in my head. i think i posted it when it came up around christmas time cause it was hilarious but feel free to laugh again if you like.
other than that i really have been behaving. except for the thirty minutes that i was laughing because a sorority sister announced her pregnancy--i didn't laugh in her face that would have been rude--and she is just not maternally minded so we are all wondering what will happen now. i still don't have my scores back yet but what can you do. hopefully they will come in tomorrow and give me some resolution one way or the other. thanks to everyone that has said you have passed don't worry about it but i'm a little anal and yes i know the various ways that can be misinterpreted lol. nothing i can do about the scores right now i just want em back now. i think i'd like a box now lol. damn military service.
see ya
red
oh my god, i forgot to share what my friend told me. he knows all about me and the kink that is my life and in having a conversation about football i told him about this recurring fantasy i have about Roaming Soldier and the NFL season lol. all my friend said was you need some Orbit gum cause you are a dirty dirty girl. that made me crack up. so here's an orbit commercial for you.
.:Tuesday, May 01, 2007:.
-400 pages or how to make a battalion smile-it has seemed like forever since i talked to Him longer than a few minutes. it always seems like forever though so that's not a completely accurate characterization of what is going on. anyhoo, this morning when i logged on to my yahoo account i had series of messages full of kisses from Him. we had missed each other while i was tossing and turning before settling down to dream about Him. i had time to kill that morning so i hoped i'd be able to talk to Him then but nope lol. instead i worked on a presentation i needed to give over the lunch hour. He logged on right before i had to go, lol of course, but i had to be a good professional so i went and did the presentation and was glad that it went well. luckily for me though we got another two hours alone, well sorta alone lol, to chat and be silly and make fun of our friends. i mentioned something about a red bottom which made Him smile hard apparently. one of His instructors asked why He was smiling and i tried to be polite about it but the man was nosy so i said just tell the man that i reminded You of the story where the nice man gets a blow job under water. if you were wondering how to make a battalion smile just have someone you love repeat that out loud and see what happens. if i wasn't feeling good after that presentation i was definitely feeling good after that bit of information was relayed to me. okay not everyone was smiling. pillar did not appreciate that reference at all. he and night owl don't read the smut because the characters sound too much like the two of us and that just makes them get massive headaches. that's funny to me and Him but not so much to them so it's not something we discuss lol.
so i covered the battalion thing. i'm sure you are wondering that the page count is about. the blog has passed 400 posts a while back. this is number 446 i think. 400 pages is the ongoing electronic journal of sorts that i have been keeping of our conversations since He left. i said before i would be okay until we hit 1000 pages and i do still stand by that but i'd adore the world at large if He was able to get home before we hit 500. i won't hold my breath but i will keep some part of my body crossed just in case.
okay i'm going to see what mommy is stirring up for dinner. we had the best fajitas from this frozen bag yesterday, very chili's like, and ended up destroying the bag so i got some more today at the store along with the chicken variety the company makes. either way, good eats tonight and a nice long conversation with my Daddy today. a girl is awfully happy.
see ya
Labels: life is good, sappy, silly
.:Friday, April 20, 2007:.
-i was dreaming when i wrote this-well not exactly. i was back in bed like i was yesterday trying to shake a nagging cough and sore throat. got better drugs and the coughing is clearing out whatever it is my body seems to have contracted but really don't want to be sick again. i don't enjoy it especially since no one is home to baby and take care of me the way i would appreciate at the moment. it hasn't given me a chance to catch up on my random movie watching.
i just finished watching children of men which simultaneously had me very intrigued and scared out of my skull. i mean what really would we do if the random infertility that plagues us was more widespread and there was no cure for it? i'm not sure but if it ended up anything like this movie then i am going to opt for immediate cyanide because good lord this was a hot mess. don't watch it if you are looking for a nice happy movie by the way. it's a good movie to spark conversation but it's not a happy movie. it can provide you with a bit of hope in a twisted way though. but again maybe that's just me lol as i am strange. i'm going to rewatch another movie to figure out why i don't like it. i seem to be one of the only people that doesn't like it and i want to know if it's cause i really do hate the plot or it's because of the actor. i haven't decided yet. after that i am going to watch my new movies from the disney movie club. 5 movies for 30 bucks--can't beat that at all lol. especially since they were really like 2 bucks a pop for the first three and then discounted on the next two but still taking off one of the old pesky required movies to buy later.
let's see other than that i started my clean out process of a few more things i need to address before i finish the filing away part of the move. i stumbled upon a lot of cards and letters and things related to my father that i have likely not touched since i put them in there. some made me smile, some made me cry, some made me wonder who are you and why can't i picture your face. mostly though it made me think that i have been wonderfully blessed to have the friends i have and my father touched a lot of peoples' lives. both of those things were good thoughts to have and hold onto. so i am and will play with the cards until tomorrow when i tuck them back away.
ahhh and two other things have come up as well. well potentially three or more but let's go in order of my random thoughts. i think i am ready to start writing in earnest. that means i have ot start getting ready for folks to critique the smut i've written and help guide me in the best direction for the future--well without steering me too far off of my own smutty trajectory. i'll let y'all know when and if any progress is made there. i hope to find out if i got the first hurdle of my licensure review done soon and if so then it's back to study for one last test.
off tangent---i love judi dench and thandie newton. i'm always surprised by the roles they take and the way they twist those roles. the only thing that was mildly disappointing about this film for thandie is they somewhat oversexualize her (is that a word) but they never really use that hypersexual appearance for anything. she's clearly manipulating nearly every man in this movie but there's a level missing there. okay that could just be me because i'm horny again.
brings me to my last item for the moment. i have been going back and forth between gathering information and ideas on nice Catholic weddings and my own vision of this day to why exactly am i pondering this as He hasn't even asked me to marry Him? each moment is distinct and neither is all that deep meaning i'm not bridezilla or anti-bride at either end. my brain is conflabulated every now and then. i love Him so deeply and can't imagine not spending our lives together most days but other days i just want to fuck Him silly and avoid the chapel for as long as humanly possible. i think all of this just means that i need a nice good spanking lol. and i'll leave you all with this picture below. i'm liking the suave british boys lately especially as they aren't seeming all gangly and asexual lol. no offense to british boys but the ones that come to mind beyond actors are all thin rock stars. anyhoo have a good night.
Labels: life is good, random, silly
.:Sunday, February 11, 2007:.
-It's so amazing to be loved-you know it's been a long few weeks. i have been heavily committed to things and instead of waffling when i could have weasled out i have stepped up as much as i could and handled things accordingly. this of course has meant i haven't been home even when i wanted to be. i have had to rush and do things for myself because other things were requiring much more of my time than i wanted. a lot of things have made me question what i'm doing and why. but today, well yesterday at this point, two different things made go well damn that's why i do it.
to my utter amazement and gratitude to all the forces in the universe that made it possible but our sorority event went off with a few minor glitches but otherwise very smoothly. it was good, i liked my outfit and hair, folks thought i was cute which is always a plus and everyone there seemed to be having fun. we all pulled together as we should have and made it a good event. praise the Lord above for that one.
the second thing that happened was simple and precious and made me think of the title of this post. i got a mostly uninterrupted few hours to talk to Roaming Solider. after a long gap in between our last real conversation it was good to just be His little girl for a while. did we talk about anything earth shattering? nope not at all but i can't say that we ever really do. it's just us being mushy as my girls call it. but it's the most amazing thing to know that someone somewhere loves you and wants to spend the rest of their time on this earth with you. i mean i know staying in love is hard and requires a lot of work and effort that a lot of folks aren't always willing to put in. but at the same time the work doesn't really seem like work if you feel perpetually in sync with the other person. He can't necessarily read my mind but 90 percent of the time what is going on in His mind is going on in mind as well. that other 10 percent is just one of our brains catching up lol. i am a little under two weeks away from the anniversary of the day that changed my life in multiple ways. it could have been a day that was ruined for me lol as it started off with a "formal release" from a commitment that was only really keeping me in check and not us together. but by the time it was over i had the silliest goofiest grin on my face all because someone sent me a sweet and unexpected instant message. it was the most maginificent twelve hour emotional shift my brain has ever experienced lol.
i've been amply blessed this last year. i haven't had Him home which would have been icing on the cake and really He might not be around. i'm difficult as hell to deal with and i think this time apart has kept me from bolting just because i haven't been overwhelmed and frightened by the very real emotions that are being shared between us now. He is so wonderful, so amazing that i can't ever imagine not being here or experiencing this love right now. i'll see y'all later and for those that chat on yahoo with me please send me a message so you can see my new avatar ROFLMAO. ok y'all know i like to have music in the posts sometimes. the following link/window is a playlist i made for Him. tell me what y'all think.
Labels: Daddy, life is good, random, sappy, silly, videos
.:Sunday, January 07, 2007:.
-please alert the body snatchers-i want out of this pod and want to return to my pre happy as hell level of girliness. okay so the last two days of insomnia filled evenings i have been trolling wedding sites again. pretty much anything you could ask for i have discovered along the way and am now debating on whether the invitations just have to match the colors but yeah haven't exactly cleared those with Roaming Soldier yet even though they blend our organization colors quite nicely and i've found a dress and bridal party attire to coordinate with all of them. i've contemplated evening versus afternoon wedding, no kids, destination versus finding a nice church and how many layers i want on the cake. i did see two cute cakes today and may have settled on the bouquet lol. yeah i am soooooooo not understanding this. we haven't even officially gotten engaged at this point. i need help lol. i do have things to distract me but that won't start until tomorrow when i go run back to work and get back to looking for a house. ahh well hopefully the smut fairy will visit me soon and get me back to writing. okay see ya later.
red
Labels: life is good, sappy, silly
.:Friday, December 29, 2006:.
-and surprising everyone, a compromise has been reached-well i wasn't haven't the best day on wednesday now was i? the headache got worse and lasted well into yesterday. but the idea of staying in here with a pissed off old woman wasn't appealing. i figured most of the rush of gift card shoppers would be gone so i ventured out to the mall. you heard that right ladies and gents. i shut off my normally highly adverse to shopping brain and went exploring. i stopped at two shoe stores and then went wandering off to build-a-bear. i love them, the most random toy--a child's teddy bear--becomes an otherworldly shopping experience. you have dozens of animals to choose from. you can get them stuffed to any desirable softness. you make a wish on the heart that is placed into your teddy and then you dress and name them and get them registered so that if the bear gets lost then it can be returned. here is what i started with...
and i got him nice and stuffed and then dressed him in this...
and of course he needed shoes so i put these on...
and then i had to think of a name. for a minute i was stumped, after all i have a large chocolate bear named Daddy Bear already. then it dawned on me. he was my little soldier bear so why not Roaming Soldier and voila my teddy has been created. so i leave my first just for fun store happy. i go back to payless and grab my sneaker. but in the middle of this my mother has set up camp in the car. she didn't buy anything just grabbed a catalog and sat in the freaking car lol. so i go to best buy and get my new digital camera to take pictures of my present from cyberdiva and my lovely new bear and some nice kinky things for RS but then i had to get food from PF Chang's--had a gift card and then went to wally world for the last time this year (i hope and pray dearly) and mommy got her nails done. somewhere in the middle of the last two stops she quit acting like a five year old and at least agreed to try to behave.
when i got home and looked at the net i found that best buy had a better camera than the one i bought for about 15 bucks more if i ordered online and then picked it up and one slightly better than my purchase for the same price as what i picked up. i headed back that way of course as i am lazy and have only a few stops i plan on making between now and going back to work. well i returned my 5.0 megapixel and got a 7.1 megapixel for the grand total difference of 14 bucks and because i was not shelling out 143 and then getting cash back i asked if they would honor the online price and yippee for me they did. save this asshole trying to run me off the road because they refused to get out of the lane that was being shut down until the last minute yesterday was pretty damn good. now if i can just get that build a bear wish to come true i'll be a happy girl.
if you want to go to a build a bear or just order one click http://www.buildabear.com to find out the best option for you.
Labels: life is good, random, silly
.:Saturday, December 23, 2006:.
-waving goodbye to 2006-well it's not quite Christmas yet but it's time for the annual reevaluation of life, love and all that is wonderful and all the crap that transpired this year. this will be like all the other evaluation posts i do--long winded and full of videos or music. this year was one for the record books as far as my life is concerned. i'm a few days shy of when my mother moved in and made me fall off the map with friends and family. she hadn't put a strain on my "relationship" with Emperor but then again she didn't have to. he was off exploring other avenues and i just hadn't quite picked up on that yet. i hear music that is perfectly fitting a situation more often than not well after the situation has passed. four songs come to mind now as i think of Emp and nope not one of them is a prince song lol. the first is bitter by chante moore--really just because of the line about i hate your dog, i won't elaborate beyond that lol. the next is hate me today by blue october--knowing the real meaning behind the words doesn't make me appreciate it any less than i did before. walk away by kelly clarkson because i mean really if you don't know what you want how can i help you? and finally justin timberlake's what goes around comes around. the link to hear it is below this section. it's a long song because a break down is included at the end of the song but really it's my favorite part of the song. the burning ache in my chest went away quickly thank God but he was part of the first two months of 06 for me and i was disappointed things happened they did.
but if i thought that would be the most eventful part of my year i was wrong. there was much more fighting to do with mom than i could imagine. trying to have a roommate after not sharing space with anyone from the age of 18 was a bit of an adjustment. she's a lovely woman and i know she means well but lord every now and then i wish i could just have some peace and quiet--like now--to get my thoughts together and not have to take care of anyone but me. so for mom a nod to her ringtone and marvin gaye.
she did derail my energy and motivation a bit from time to time which pissed off both myself and my dissertation chair to a certain degree. i hate not finishing things and it puts me in a bad mood to not get things done on my schedule. i had friends postpone about three graduation trips because of my own inability to get stuff taken care of when i should have. but as they say there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. "breaking up" with Emperor spurred a lot of work to get done and then just my own stubborness to get the monkey off my back caused me to stop screwing around and get things taken care of. thank heavens for that because now my life is my own again. this year, much like my time in undergrad showed me i had the balls to do whatever i needed. enjoy a bit of christina and join me in fighting lol.
work was work and it's one of those things that made me glad i had supportive people around me but reminded me about how different really i am from those folks around me. not just in the sense that i'm the only black woman on staff or i'm a bit younger than most of them. it's just a mindset thing--beyond needing to get spanked lol--that doesn't make me want to settle down here and set up shop. here's a video for you.
the biggest change this year was realization that it was time to get my life back into balance. i have been working at my job, on my dissertation, taking care of my mother and doing all that while holding my love life at bay. i think i lept at Emperor so gladly last year because it was my first foray back into having something that was good for me. regardless of how it turned out the cracks that were present were about there still not being enough of a balance. our needs never matched up enough for that relationship to come to any fruition. i had four walls to sleep in, a few dozen walls to work in but nothing to make my life a full experience for me.
as soon as my brain processed what i needed and what it was that i really wanted i was blessed with the most wonderful Man i have had the pleasure of knowing. i really can't muster up the words correctly so i am going to ask that you listen to tamia.
now when it comes to Roaming Soldier i was not expecting Him or His presence in my life this year. i periodically think i must be dreaming because after a few decades of dating and coming up with squat for it you start to get a little jaded about the whole experience. i mean i still had friends that were were inspiring me to keep hope alive but i wasn't looking very hard at that point. even though He's away and really i don't know when He'll be able to climb into bed with me and start working through the smutty collection with me He has been a total and complete Godsend that i am thankful for each night. press play and enjoy babyface.
the other thing that happened this year was me getting refocused on my responsibility to the rest of the world lol. nope i can't save it and nope i can't fix it for everyone around but i can do my part here and there. i will get back into my volunteer work and continue my sponsorship of my kid in the Phillipines. until they let me take over the world it's the least i could do.
i'm finally turning into that woman i wanted to be when i was itty bitty. i'm happy with my life and my love and my plans for the immediate future. there's no more confusion about why i'm not where i want to be. i know now if i'm not what i want to be it's mostly on me. i can be whomever i want and do whatever i want. i can be the soccer mom if the kids want to do that and still come home, put the corset on over the white t-shirt and and shake my ass in front of Him after we get the kids to bed. i'm a big girl like that lol.
okay i'm done looking back over the year. the rest of the songs will be random sappy happy songs because that's the place i'm in this year. i hope the year was good to all of you but if it wasn't that you have a much more blessed 2007. starting off the hit parade with beautiful loved and blessed.
Labels: Daddy, introspective, life is good, random, silly, videos
.:Friday, December 22, 2006:.
-red's randomness report-wow can't believe it's been this long since i updated. i remember typing something at the airport but maybe it got lost in cyberspace. so what's new? our time off of work starts today and we don't go back till after the 1st of the year. YIPPEE! i am getting caught up on all of my paperwork there and will be done with it the first week we are back. getting used to be calling dr. red but i'm sure that will take some more time. actually thinking about getting personalized plates but i want to talk to Roaming Soldier about that first. i'm sure He'll approve but i still want to check in.
i've been tired lately. they gave me something to help with my ankle but one of the side effects is apparently me getting very sleepy very early. not that it's a bad thing but y'all know i can stay up indefinitely sometimes. other than that i've been staring at my boobs since i got home. they seem bigger than i remember them being but i can't prove that. it's probably just the shelf bra that i'm wearing. i got to talk to Roaming Soldier by the way. it was tuesday night at this point. He was very tired but He was also very flirty. helped to take out a kitty that evening. i miss Him y'all. i've been horny as a teenager sailor on shore leave. and i want Him home to reap the benefits of all that energy. i've had a few stories rushing around in my brain for Him too that i am going to work on now that i'm on "vacation" and of course that means i'll share them with you too.
say a prayer for all those soliders, like my Daddy, that will not be home with their families this holiday season. remember them and hug your loved ones tighter before you let them out of your sight. love ya all but it's time for bed.
red
.:Friday, December 15, 2006:.
-the graduate has landed-it's ten o'clock. do you know where your resident submissive is hiding out? of course you don't because i never tell y'all that kind of stuff lol. i'm in my hotel room after a strange day. i woke up EARLY. i never do that when i am flying out. i got up and showered---revisit that never thing. i sealed up Daddy Bear and Elle (pronounced el-ee) for the trip---okay that's standard. i grabbed all the stuff i needed and loaded up the car. i stopped the paper, emptied the trash and then put a box of presents in the car to mail to the family. umm i can have productive moments but that was just ridiculous. i got the packages off, checked my luggage and got through security ninety minutes before the flight. again that's just not like me but when i finally started feeling like enough is enough i went for food only to find that my flight was going to be delayed until noon if i was lucky. well before i got to enjoy the food i bought i got summoned over to the gate lol and got booked onto a flight through st. louis and avoided the chicago drama altogether. i ended up getting here an hour ahead of time and got my car--no suv upgrade this time lol--but it's a step up from my car--same make just different model you know what i mean--and it was so cute. my hotel bed is lovely. the wireless connection is iffy but i'm glad to be connected at all because i want to be online just in case Roaming Soldier can log on.
there's a bridal party in the hotel this weekend. now please don't get offended by this because i love everyone really i do lol but there is nothing more humorous--well small children might be funnier--than a group of semi drunk, tired, chain smoking white folks. the men are flirty, the women just a little louder than normal and the entire group will share way too much information with perfect strangers. not that i would crash a wedding or reception but they gave me all the information i would need in case i was just that bored. i wish the bride and groom good luck even though they'll never see this lol because tomorrow is my birthday and you have to be wonderfully blessed if you do anything on the day i graced the world lol. my girlfriend will be here tomorrow and we are going to hang out and giggle before the big festivities. okay i think i've rambled on enough. gotta get over this eastern standard time thing.
see ya
red
Labels: life is good, random, silly
.:Tuesday, December 12, 2006:.
-lol a present for y'all-i'm okay, just nothing on my mind except Roaming Soldier so i won't belabor that with y'all right now. enjoy the clip. the subtitles usually annoy me but given the accent she was working with they will be helpful for those of you that don't speak english as a native language and heck some of you that do lol.
.:Sunday, December 03, 2006:.
-where or where did red velvet go-i swear i didn't mean to vanish. between being horny and the snow and annoyance at my office i was distracted. i killed more kittens lately than i have in quite a while and there was still so much work to freaking do that really i wanted to throw a tantrum and turn into the next Cyndi Sheehan. "bring back my Dom, bring back my Dom!" but i figured that would probably end up getting Him in unneccessary trouble so i just took out another kitten. the sleet and rain came down on thursday before turning into snow and making sure i didn't have to go to work on friday. but i still had to drive out of town and surprisingly most of the highway was clear in my immediate area and then outside of the city it was great. i spent the last two nights there and whenever i thought about blogging i went "eh no" and decided not to. i was in a meeting for about twelve hours yesterday which was fine all in all. it was a good meeting and i left being rejuvenated but entirely too tired to drive home. hotel bed was good again. but the best part of being gone was just getting some rest and some quiet. okay that wasn't the best thing. the best thing was an unexpected--aren't they all unexpected at this point?--and too short conversation with Roaming Soldier. it was perhaps the last time that i was incredibly horny and able to talk to Him and i have to blame the song that you can click below. i have this oral fixation that is acting up so badly right now. when i heard the end of this song it just made things worse and i told Him about it. bad little girl i know but He was happy that my mind was spinning in that direction and still focused on Him. so yeah the kitten that died today died because i was thinking about my bottle and Him and all the different ways that could make Him very happy. anyway go enjoy the music and Daddy if You are able to click the link just remember what i said the other night. just need You home and we are gonna have so much fun.
Labels: dead kitties, introspective, life is good, silly, videos
.:Friday, September 29, 2006:.
-it's all the rage-okay coffee at darkconnections has gotten me hooked on StarDolls. i went on a spending spree last night and now i'm all tapped out. soooooo for those of you that are clicking around over this way be sure to click THIS LINK so that you can both see my doll and get one of your own. as soon as you get your sign up completed you get 50 fake bucks to go shopping with and i get ten more to feed my habit. i need to decorate the front room, please play nice with me (god that could be so misconstrued lol) and i'll love ya forever.
i'll post later. i was going to last night but exhaustion got the best of me. new smut is working its way out of my brain and into pages for Him. as soon as i'm done killing the kitties i'll be sure to post it all for you. in the mean time, let a sista go fake shopping for my virtual self so i can be all artificially sultry for my electronic fans.
love ya
red
Labels: silly
.:Tuesday, September 19, 2006:.
-damn the title-really i can't think of one at all. i damn near fell asleep thinking of one. so anyhoo here's the deal. i spent the entire day, from eight to three, being mommy's chauffer. two doctors, way too much shopping, two meals and then back home. eight to three is my normal workday on tuesdays. to put it politely i was not a happy camper. not because i was annoyed but because i was tired. for some reason an eight am doctor's visit didn't say stay out till three to me. and really we left both doctors by 10:30 so the rest of my day was wasting time and gas. now she's in the back singing loudly and off key with marvin gaye. she's singing so loudly that she missed both knocks at the front door. one was from the maintenance guy here that i swear is mildy mentally handicapped. he's seen me go in and out of this apartment no less than half a dozen times and when i opened the door he said "ohhhhhh you live here" like it had just occured to him. add that to the fact that he seems to have a gathering of sixteen year old girls falling him around (not to speak to his mental abilities moreso than his maturity level) and he's almost always wearing wifebeaters (for those unfamiliar with the term please click here) and sweats he strikes an interesting image roaming around the complex. the second knock was a knock for me so that's not so bad.
it was the outfit i ordered from hips and curves (see link under shopping) to go along with my cookie peddling outfit. now of course i tried it on to see how it fit and where it might be tight. let's just say the tie and the top fit great. the skirt is in war with my ass and the jacket hates my arms, can't blame it i hate them too. immediately after wiggling out of the skirt and folding the jacket away to go back into it's nice storage spot i was reminded that instead of giving into my head screaming BED on the way home that i should just take my ass on over to the gym and sign up. as it stands right now, if i don't do it now--like the next sixty minutes--then my first shot is friday. tomorrow night is a see ya later dinner and thursday i have to attend an outreach project. i mean i guess it doesn't matter since i'm not really able to get to the gym before friday anyway but starting this friday (yes THIS one, no more bullshitting boys and girls) i have to get back to the gym. i'm not looking to become a guest star on "how i got skinny" (and before you ask i have no idea if that show exists lol) but i don't want to have to buy a larger size because my breasts and arms are in a civil war with the jackets i try to cover them with (oh in case i didn't mention it, unless my breasts deflate a bit with the rest of me that top button is gonna be holding on for dear life. that i'm not all that unaccustomed to, my breasts are large. short of surgery there's not a lot i can do about that).
so if any of you see me online before seven pm on friday ask me why i'm home so early. it's okay i give you permission. after that i'll think about posting a schedule to make sure i am regularly harassed even though after spending money on the real gym and the real workout clothes plus wanting to be able to keep up with "Mr. Super Stamina because i went back to basic and am now stuck in the desert" (better known as Roaming Soldier) and wanting to indulge in all those tossed into the wall fantasies rushing through my brain, the gym is a MUST. okay that's enough. see ya later.
red
Labels: silly
.:Sunday, August 27, 2006:.
-syrupy sweet that's what i am-okay so here i am again, descending into sappyville right now. the last few days have been an interesting mix of things. i'm covering all the crisis calls for the center right now and it's been an abnormally busy weekend. four calls in two days is way more than normal so what little sleep i've been getting has been interrupted by the phone ringing at any hour oh and the woman delivering the paper knocking at the door at 4 am this morning. can we say my mother, who is the one that wanted the paper in the first place, was sound asleep and didn't even move when i walked in the room? anyhoo, sleep cycle is jacked and it probably didn't help that i was watching spend my life via the big clip in the post below this one until i fell asleep. i love that song A LOT. as long as Roaming Soldier doesn't object then it will be played at some point on the day we get married. wow did i say that out loud? yeah i guess i did. He hasn't proposed and neither have i lol but i guess we have talked about it so much it hasn't occurred to me that we wouldn't be getting married. it's just a matter of when. anyhoo, back to the wedding day stuff. the other song that i have always wanted to play during my wedding to whomever was a song by brian mcknight. it's from his debut album many moons back--never felt this way. i said when i heard it that i would play it if i ever got married because it would take a man that could engender that type of emotion in me to get me down the aisle. well lo and behold i think i've found him. please give it a listen and tell me what you think.
Upload music at Bolt
.:Monday, August 07, 2006:.
-distracted and ditzy and dangerous?-i haven't been at the top of my game lately. well the smut is still flowing nicely but that's about it. i'm tired at work, i'm tired at home. i'm horny as hell and then i feel like a nun. i enjoy sleeping but i'm not seeming to do very much of it lately and if i had my druthers (yes i used it again) i'd just be curled up with Him every night getting to work on the brothers and sisters Littlest Soldier would like to have. i'm not sure if that's the problem either. as of late when i'm asleep i can feel Him holding me. don't ask me how because He's never done it at this point but i feel a sense of security and hell snugness that my very empty bed cannot provide me on its own. it's a strange feeling but a welcome one all the same. but part of my brain is trying to shoo it away because i want to know what His arms actually feel like not my imagining of them. they may be exactly the same. it could just be that the very intense and lovely connection we have had almost all along has gotten a little stronger and i'm feeling what He's feeling across all these miles. i like that thought, it makes me sigh a bit. last night He told me that He was suiting up to go off on a mission, not anything resembling my favorite words. my brain screamed for a minute---why tell me this? what am i supposed to do now but worry? and of course i did worry but He tells me because He loves me. He tells me because as much as that screaming went on the rest of my brain said but i'd rather know to be worried than not. it's a tricky balancing act for sure. i love Him and support Him unconditionally. that doesn't stop me from cursing at W everytime i hear his name or voice or basically i'm awake. i hate the little bastard, i wish people hadn't let fear get the best of them two years ago and maybe we wouldn't be sitting in this mess now. maybe i'd be writing about my girl's wedding or planning my own or telling you all how much i hate morning sic kness but instead i'm apparently not noticeably shaken and missing Him more than i've missed another human save my father. my head is in a weird space. but i'll be looking forward to my snuggle tonight.
speaking of smut, i'll post part iv of the honeymoon after i finish part v and send it to Him. for those of you that like the idea of "little girl" being bad and "Daddy" having to punish her you will most definitely enjoy it. i did lol and He most assuredly did. hopefully i can keep my smart mouth in check when He gets home otherwise i'll be laying on my stomach trying to post on here lol. and i started making a list of songs i'm going to track on my cd player to see if i want to add them to a cd. if so then i'll burn as many as will fit and call it a day. He deserves a good soundtrack upon His return. if i don't like them i'll toss some out and throw some others in. thanks to my evil twin for the slowly hook up.
now you can see that i'm clearly distracted and a bit on the ditzy side so i'm sure you are now wondering about the dangerous. well see yesterday two men i find hilarious called me dangerous as we matter of factly discussed some bdsm related things and i had to stop and ponder for a minute. (this is me stopping to ponder, what i do it from time to time) anyhoo, so i stopped to ponder about all the different times men had told me that and some truly meant it in jest---you're dangerous--definition:
- you could hurt a man (dying from an orgasm seems fair to me)
- you could kill someone and no one would find out (they are probably right so don't push me)
- you make a man think things he shouldn't (how i do this one is beyond me)
- you are the type of woman some men dream about but all are afraid of (da fuck if i know on this one)
- you are often underestimated until you're gone and that's fucked up for whomever you left (i'll agree)
counting yesterday, i've heard that phrase from almost every man i know over the last 10 or so years. the ones that haven't said it know me well enough to know that i really am harmless because 90 percent of the time i'm not interested enough in most folks to feel a need to influence their lives one way or the other. the other 10 percent that i am, well for the most part no one has anything bad to say about me. i've never been dishonest about my needs or wants. i try to tell folks what i think is going wrong before i bounce and unless i catch you cheating on me i'm almost always willing to give you ONE more shot. after that, pack your ish and bounce. i'm by no means an angel but really do i seem like a dangerous girl to you guys? (ok really can you see me as a dangerous little girl?)
.:Friday, July 14, 2006:.
-modern random mini rantings-okay so none of this is remotely connected or pressing but it's something i been thinking about for the last few drives in to work in the morning. bear with me as i share my trivialities with you.
ummm what happpened to the days when ONE radio station was likely to play at least 80 percent of the songs you liked and didn't sound JUST LIKE the other radio stations in town? i mean when i was young i could listen to one station all day and they would play a mix of r&b, a little rap, rock, oldies and everyone could listen to it and hear something they liked over a few hour span. now i have THREE stations i have to flip through during a twenty minute commute and without fail at least two of the stations are playing the same songs at some point in time. not songs by the same artist, nope the same damn song. i know music ain't what it used to be but this is horrible. i don't want JUST an r&b channel or JUST a rock station or oldies or classic rock. i want a good channel that can play a good mix of things all day long. damn is that so much to ask without having to buy sirius or xm to entertain myself? okay enough of that.
why can't people drive? i don't mean over long distances or in heavy traffic. people tend to act right during those situations. i mean during the normal traffic flow the people that tend to flit from lane to lane, fail to signal, slam on their brakes when cops show up EVEN WHEN we are just doing the speed limit or other such annoying things. today someone trying to edge in front of me from a parking lot onto the main road did so aggressively and almost to the point where they hit my car. did i let them in front of me? of course not that shit is hella annoying and i don't respond well when i'm forced to do things. well things that i don't want to be forced into doing lol. the last i saw at least ten other cars had whipped past him and he was stuck in the lot. now normally i am not that rude when driving. i let people in front because the last i checked my house wasn't on wheels so i can get home whenever but as i said that annoyed me and the folks behind me who also refused to let him in. i wouldn't have hit him had he forced the issue but had he hit my car i'd still be talking to the police for pummeling his young behind.
the hell is wrong with my job? okay not my job so much but the school i work for. they are in this massive push to build more housing and accomodate more students BUT at the same time they are screwing the faculty out of places to park in order to come into work. they are straining the resources we have available and are simultaneously making it more difficult to get in to serve the demand we have on our staff as it is. can we say don't make me put my foot up in your ass? that shit is annoying and as the little brats don't drive anywhere until we are DONE with work then they should be able to park outside of the primary campus area until we are done for the day. we shouldn't be basically parking at our homes or local businesses to do our jobs. that is crazy. speaking of crazy, i had the craziest session today. my client apparently spent the weekend experimenting with a little bdsm kinky sex as the dominant partner. i had to stop myself from saying more than a therapist should and we just explored her feelings about the experience and her partner and all of those good things. it was interesting and i'll be doubly interested to see what she comes back with after doing some reading and some exploration of her thoughts on the subject and him when she comes back next week. moving on.
you all may or may not know this. i have been watching wrestling (yep the WWE) for a while now. it started with this guy i dated back in 99 but has just become my funny guilty pleasure full of sweaty half naked men i like to lust after. there are a few i look at the show for primarily in addition to the overabundance of breasts that are featured all nice and plump and lovely lol. oh yeah back to why i'm watching now because The Rock has essentially retired even though good lawd he is loverly. anyhoo, the list is like this right now:
- Permatan aka John Cena---affectionately called Permatan because if he could get a nice deep brown tan the man could get it twice a day and three times on sunday. well of course if i wouldn't get the worst spanking ever and he might come up missing if RS ever ran into him. not trying to get nobody killed soooo lust on Monday nights for about 20 minutes works for me.
- Bobby Lashley aka Sexual Chocolate---overly cut, looks luscious sweating, incredibly strong, yeah him could get it if RS didn't exist but He does sooo i will just keep drooling when i see Bobby just like i do with Permatan just on a different night.
- Sexy aka Batista--after a long hiatus brought on by an injury The Animal is back on Smackdown and distracting me whenever he puts on a suit. Him sho is purty. yeah another lusty boy for about 20 minutes on Friday nights.
the rest of the week it's all about Roaming Soldier and the knife i feel running down my spine and the nice sadistic smile i feel Him generating as He watches His little girl react to His touch. ummm cookie peddling anyone?
Labels: silly
.:Tuesday, June 06, 2006:.
-omens, portends and other meanderings-okay so i tend to take my titles from random things going on in the world. today, as most of you should know is june 6, 2006 or 6/6/06 as the nice producers of The Omen would have you remember so you can go see their remake of the 1976 classic. an ominous day if only because it is the only time this century that you could feasibly market as 666 if you wanted to for well releasing horror films and exploiting your town's name like Hell, Michigan is doing today. what, i know you are asking, does that have to do with little ms. velvet? actually nothing but i do like to explain myself from time to time.
the omens i'm going to talk about are anything but devilish. they are about dreams. those things that sometimes give us insight to our pysches and spur us on to further thought when we were awake. maybe a month ago i had a strange dream to me. i was preparing for a small wedding to Roaming Soldier and had moved to be closer to Him before the big day. i was out with my girls and having a blast before i realized i was being followed and watched by a stranger, a woman. she had been there most of the day i believe but it took me a while to notice her, i can be obtuse sometimes. well when i went over to talk to her i was called back by those girlfriends and the woman vanished. the same thing happened repeatedly that day culminating with me going home and seeing her at my apartment. i ran after her and thought i caught her on the elevator only to see a mannequin that resembled her in the space. i went to my apartment and checked it for my guest and when she wasn't there i opened my wedding invitations and noticed they were entirely too frilly to be anything i willingly purchased and had the wrong date printed on them even though the names and what not were all correct. the date was September 17th of next year--of course under the circumstances that seems highly unlikely to be the case right now. but even if it was feasible there are a few problems with it. 1) i have no desire to get married in september, 2) it's one of my best friends in the entire world's birthday and 3) it's the birthday of RS's now dead wife--who after quizzing Night Owl resembles the woman in my dream. now it makes total sense that if possible that she would want to see me and know the person getting close to her husband and her child but it freaked both of us (RS and i) out for a while. we fast forward to about a week ago when RS had an equally strange dream in which our desire to be together was being judged by masked judges who were grilling us for a while. we apparently answered the last questions right and then they said they had heard enough. our judges revealed themselves---my mother, His mother, Littlest Soldier and her mother along with Night Owl. the verdict wasn't issued during the dream but it left us with something else to ponder.
which brings us to today. last night i was watching a program on A&E when i clearly should have been sleeping. a man was released after four years of being in prison for a crime he didn't commit. he had lost his home, his relationship with his son, his good name and had had a stroke while he was locked up. and upon hearing the case was being dismissed with prejudice (for you non legal type folks that means the case cannot be brought against him again) i literally stared crying almost to the point that i was sobbing. why you may ask? because weird dreams aside, stupid war be damned, i realized that i am stupidly in love (not stupid in the sense of damn why she do that but in that damn that girl is gone) with a wonderful man. after years of trying to make all the puzzle pieces fit together, something just clicked with Him. He wasn't perfectly adorable but lacking the tone in His voice that made me tremble a little. He wasn't flat out scary and intimidating with no ability to open Himself up to me, and beyond ability no desire to do so either. He reminded me of all the reasons why when i was growing up i loved my father so dearly without that nasty trait of being a hoe (ok really i did love my dad but that man had no concept of fidelity). and this will either sound silly or convince you i have lost it lol. when He asked about my feelings toward kids, namely His own child, it was the sweetest thing ever and was a bit of a perk to dating Him. after my parents split up, and i know this is crazy, i was always quite aware that i would most likely be someone's stepmother. given the statistics on marriage and the number of men that i'm attracted to without kids (it's miniscule really and they have been just absolutely wonderful in my brain with some extremely desirable trait) there was a better than 50-50 shot i would be someone's stepmother. the fact that He seemed to be raising a little me was just icing on the proverbial cake. i don't know how else to explain it other than i felt very lucky last night/this morning to have Him in my life. and as the dreamy guests we have from time to time have never thrown a fit or demanded that we split up i'm taking that as a sign that this is the right thing to do for both of us. our judges want us to be happy, we want them to be happy and come hell or high water i will do my best to make that happen. okay well i have rambled on enough. if you go see the movie today try not to laugh or nothing. i can't imagine how scary the remake could be when it's been so long since the original captured our attention.
peace and love,
red
ADDENDUM---i didn't post yesterday because i was lazy lol but it was Daddy's birthday yesterday, tomorrow is Roaming Soldier's birthday and the first unofficial BDSM holiday that i know of was yesterday too. Roaming Soldier and His twin decided that June 5th will forever be known as Slap a PseudoDom/me Day, those folks that have no real idea of what being a Dom/me is and what they do know about BDSM is wrong.
Labels: silly
.:Friday, June 02, 2006:.
-anticipation (the commencement)-okay so technically a commencement is the end of your academic career but it's all the beginning of your new life and it's listed as an antonym to denouement which i just felt like using so there
see ya
red
Labels: silly
.:Tuesday, April 11, 2006:.
-8 Minutes in Heaven-anyone remember that game? you'd climb in the closet, hopefully with someone you liked or least someone that didn't repulse you, while a room full your peers timed you and cheered you on. stupid game and by the time 8 minutes had passed you were both usually quite bored unless you were in there with someone you were really attracted to and in that case you were in a panic because you wanted to make sure all clothing was in place before someone swung the door open. i know all of you are wondering what in the world this has to do with anything. well let me tell you lol.
i didn't hear from Roaming Soldier last night, thus no new random smut for you lol, and went to bed a little moody but not terribly upset. i got to the office and no cute i missed you message, okay so i was starting to get a little sad there. then as my day was ending and i was trying to decide to go home or spend more time working on dumb stuff for 30 minutes, i get that weird buzzing noise from yahoo to let me know that i had email. i looked down and saw Roaming Soldier---and his inviting subject line. i read it and felt my eyes get flushed with tears. that would make the second time in a week that he's left me something that made me go well damn. and the title of this post is directly related to that email. Roaming Soldier gave me eight kisses. eight kisses signifiying any number of things but most of all that he wanted me to be with him. okay duh, not that i haven't heard that before but for whatever reason this was different. i adore him, i really do, with his sweet, silly, well-spoken, extra special tall and kinky self.
so eight kisses provided me a few moments in heaven. eight kisses reminded me that i am wanted and appreciated. eight kisses made me want to kneel at his feet and wait for those kisses. and for the chance to please him for long, intense, highly charged moments. and to take care of him for the mundane, simple, loving moments that make up the rest of our lives. eight kisses, very simple, very sweet, very important.
eta: it occurred to me after i posted this that the game might have actually been called seven minutes in heaven lol but it wouldn't have made the post as cute that way lol. for me it was clearly eight minutes at least and i am going to go reread my lovely note with my eight kisses.
Labels: silly
.:Saturday, April 08, 2006:.
-and on the 8th day-okay so it's 8th day of the month and i couldn't come up with a better title lol. i have been doing nothing all day. well that's not entirely true. i battled with the kittens for a while and they struggled mightily but thoughts of Roaming Soldier won out in the end.
speaking of Roaming Soldier, we got to talk a minute before he lay down for a nap. we are both very happy with how things are proceeding between us. i'm sure we'd be happier if there was no military involvement and we were moments away from being snuggled up as opposed to being hours away from being able to speak to each other briefly. the littlest soldier is ill so of course her Daddy is a little worried about her. makes me too of course but i still am refraining from trying to insinuating myself in her life to add to the disturbance she's alreay experiencing as a result of the move and Roaming Soldier's abscence. this is all a random jumble so bear with me.
i have been joking for years that i would be a great step-mother because i didn't want to have any kids of my own. i mean i don't always want to have any rugrats but the thought of a full house, the littlest soldier and RS makes me very cheesy grinny happy. now if i could skip the majority of the pregnancy and just deliver the kids i'd probably happily procreate but the thought of things being swollen and not in a sexual way just makes me nervous i must admit. especially as i haven't had to take care of an infant in forever and i like to sleep. and it would be a bit difficult to get up and breastfeed a kid when Daddy has me hogtied on the bed lol. i'm sure we'd work it all out but as the possibilties start to present themselves i do ponder them more. i'm off tangent though. just being a step-mother would be interesting for me. i've had enough of them to know what works and what doesn't (thanks Dad) and i really have no desire to replace LS's mom just be there to take care of her and her father. again i'm probably four steps ahead of myself but it's been on my brain lately. i guess that means i'm more than a bit smitten, duh like y'all couldn't tell that. nothing else to say now. we're both ummm in a killing kitten mood and that is all.
see ya later probably
red
.:Sunday, March 19, 2006:.
-my brain hurts-well not so much hurts but it's being bombarded by things and people. because of one of the boards that i visit i have been getting approached by a few single Doms looking for a good sub. that's all right and good and since i haven't been collared to date they are well within their rights to approach me. and i am well within mine to ignore them. i am trying to introduce them to other single subs or Dommes (as the case may be one guy is digging the idea of switching roles) to no avail. i've actually been trying to match up people all over the place. one of my ex's that keeps proposing is maybe getting attached to a friend out of state. not sure what will happen there but if they met and fell in love and got married and had babies i'd be eternally grateful.
i talked to my brother and he is doing well as is his wife. that's very lovely for me. i adore the happy marriedness about them. it gives me hope and makes me smile. i talked to my girlfriend tonight and she was doing well, drunk off her butt and missing pillar but she was doing well. and for that i am happy as well. it's been a long week and she was allowed to decompress most of it. with a glitch here or there she made it through relatively unscathed. the rest of the blogland is experiencing upheavals here and there. hugs to taylor and all those that need it in the subverse and the bdsm community at large. i have spoken sporadically to lots of folks today and maybe that's why my head is throbbing right now. i'll be posting something here eventually for a male friend who had a horrible weekend with a woman who was unsure about what she wanted and put him through changes as a result. there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want. just don't drag other people into your confusion. it's unfair to them and whomever they deal with RIGHT after you. my mother while not annoying was just a little taxing this evening.
i sealed up letters to Roaming Soldier, i think i mentioned that earlier but if not ha ha now ya know. due to the heightened security surrounding most bases right now he won't be getting them anytime soon. he would prefer they not be read and fondled before he got a chance to fondle the pages himself lol. ahh i guess you figured it out that we spoke tonight too. not entirely too long but long enough to make each other giggle about random things. he said a very daddy like thing and i couldn't help but smile. and by that i mean he said something that just made me think of my father. which may have annoyed the crap out of me or made me go running for cover had i met him a few years ago but daddy was a good man even with all of his issues. they weren't ones that typically interfered with our relationship but i do have to be aware of them. as for Roaming Soldier, well he and i have just fallen into an easy rhythm with one another that i like. and all of his daddy like qualities make me very at ease with him. i could definitely use him now to help get rid of this blasted headache. nothing like a good endorphin rush to help alleviate an ache or pain. small break for what can only be described as "Learning math with your Dom."
after a brief discussion about the Littlest Soldier's desire to avoid all math homework, i smart assly replied (and i know assly is not a word)---no one should like math unless they are getting spanked. RS's reply--"4 paddles and a riding crop, equal fun" followed not long after something else that just made me want to kidnap him immediately. and no i won't be sharing that piece but it just expaned on the mathematical enjoyment that a attentive Dom can bring to His sub. between the tylenol i took and just thinking happy things because i spoke to him tonight my headache is beginning to dull. the next post i make will probably venture off into sugasm territory lol.
see ya
red
.:Wednesday, March 15, 2006:.
-it's a c-o-n-spiracy-okay so maybe conspiracy is over reaching but when i'm feeling most inclined to blog, blogger is having a tantrum and i can't get in. that is annoying, sometimes an inconvenience but what can you do as the service is free. i have been actually falling asleep like a grown up and going to work on time and being in general kinda productive. i still need to handle some rewrites on my dissertation but as i left my flash drive at home today that won't happen while i'm in the office. instead i will blog at random and write a letter to Roaming Soldier. my two morning clients both cancelled and this afternoon i just have walk-in clinic. but i'm not doing two of the hours HOPEFULLY because i have graduate clinicians to train in those time slots. less paperwork makes red very happy. but in general these days there isn't a whole lot to be unhappy about.
thankfully pms is making its departure from my life and my normal slightly higher than most sex drive will be returning (i do appreciate that). i had to leave work earlier than normal yesterday because it felt like someone was stomping on my belly. i also had to go to the dmv yesterday because i had no earthly idea how long it would take to process my license tags and the out of state bad boys i have (that should have been switched over in ohhh august) expire at the end of this month. so me all crampy and not happy trekked over to the dmv closest to my apartment. nice friendly man, being very talkative until he keys in my address. oh honey you are 4 blocks into the next county so you have to go back to the highway, up another 13 miles and then go to that tax assessor's office to get your tags. umm having never really lived anywhere that made such a distinction on county lines (i mean it was clear if you were out of the county because you were usually in a different part of town all together), we all know that i was very annoyed but went on up to get it done. while it was relatively crowded things were handled quickly and i walked out with my new tags. not my new driver's license because they won't take the secondary id i have lol but that doesn't expire till my birthday in december so i'm safe. by then the lovely state of my birth should forward me a copy of my birth certificate so i can walk back into any dmv branch and get that replaced. but really why does my birth certificate cost more than my tags did?
thanks to crimson i was able to preview one of the new songs from prince's upcoming 3121 album. have i ever mentioned how much i LOVE prince? he's absolutely positively the most amazing musician i've ever seen live. he is one of the only people i know that makes me like the live versions of their songs BETTER than the originals. and not to mention he's a total goofball and doesn't take himself that seriously. he's repeatedly opened up his home and studio to fans (like myself lol) to come in and listen to music, take a tour and on rare occasions sit down and talk to him about what made him do xyz or not do xyz. during his one nite alone tour (absolutely amazing and if i ever just have to get married somewhere there's a theater we saw in kentucky because of him that would be perfect), he let all of us come in for soundchecks and watch them rehearse, some folks got to play his guitar and more than a few of us got to sing onstage with him. not me as i am so beyond lacking musical talent but it was cool to see at the shows i went to. and during that kentucky show as i was listening to soundcheck turn into a theologicial discussion on religion and church and its place in our lives (it was bizarre, you had to be there) the joy of my young life occurred. prince came down the aisle i was sitting on to hand the microphone to someone in front of me and i talking to my girlfriend completely missed that he had sat down for at least 30 seconds. she made the oddest face so i turned and was face to face with my musical idol, we talked for a few minutes and then he was back into the mix having a conversation about alter boys with someone else. for nearly half an hour i had no idea what we talked about but i do know i nearly wet myself because i was sitting close enough to kiss the man. that of course would have gotten me tossed out on my ass and it never even crossed my mind to do so. it was surreal and that show kicked ass and the theater was stunning. but you know what i got asked everytime i recounted that story to someone who KNEW how much i loved prince and how much that random meeting meant to me? what did he smell like??? oh my god ROFLMAO i have to honestly say i have died laughing everytime it was asked. and for those of you that are wondering he just smelled fresh, fresh shower, fresh clothes, no heavy cologne just fresh. all of that is completely off tangent. if you remotely like prince i highly advise picking up musicology and 3121 on March 21st when it is readily available to you. if you are in the fan club order it now and depending on the shipping option you choose it will be in your hands on the 21st as well but you don't have to worry about living in podunk and the store being out by the time you get off work if you do that too lol. i hated living in podunk for that reason.
like i said somewhere before i started rambling incessantly, things are good and i am happy. i still want to go back to bed but that is just laziness on my part creeping in. i heard from RS last night. very short but made me giggle and blush and do a little happy dance primarily because it was unexpected. it's nice to know you are on someone's mind as much as they are on yours. of course i jotted him a quick note back and smothered him with electronic kisses lol. i really cannot wait until he's done with this and we can just lounge around and discuss how best to get one out of a cookie peddler outfit.
okay that's enough for now, hopefully i won't be back to continue spouting on and on tonight but if so i know i'll be entertaining at least lol.
your resident goofball
red
Labels: silly
.:Sunday, March 12, 2006:.
-the rain, writing letters and pms-okay for the last three or four days it's been storming something awful around here. it's great for sleeping but it's bad for my thoughts. by bad i mean that they have run amuck with thoughts of Roaming Soldier and i doing things that would at least make us guilty of public nudity if not public lewdness among an assortment of other things. i am not going to warp any minds today so i won't delve into that further right now, plus i want to warp his mind a bit so i will probably be putting what is currently on my mind in a letter to him. but no kittens have been sacrificed lately so yeah for the sleep inducing storms.
speaking of writing letters i actually do still enjoy writing and receiving letters. it's one of the limited activities i still engage in that i actually have to pick up a pen or pencil to engage in. i like dragging out stationery and at least attempting to write a coherent letter. his first was a bit rambling lol and i'm sure the next one will be as well. i'm out of letter writing shape i tell you. i only have one friend that i consistently write letters to and we have been incosistent over the last four months. Roaming Soldier will get me back on that track as he brings out most of my best qualities including spilling random information about my life to someone else in the hopes that it will entertain them. i miss our idle rambling i swear.
ok pms is not fun and i am glad i have drugs. they don't always work but i am very glad i have them. it's time for my final before bed dose actually. hopefully this will squash all of my raging hormones otherwise my dreams are going to be x-rated.
see ya
red
The Liberated Lover
63% partner focus, 57% aggressiveness, 60% adventurousness
Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:
You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.
This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.
The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."
In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.
Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.
Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST
Labels: dead kitties, quizzes, silly
.:Friday, March 10, 2006:.
-something must be in the air-i have been really happy for the last few days. i miss Roaming Soldier and yes i still miss Emperor a bit. mainly our silly conversations and friendship but yeah that may come back eventually. right now i am truly enjoying RS and the reddening. it's GREAT (as tony the tiger used to say, whatever happened to tony by the way?)!!! and i am really enjoying thinking of myself as cute and flirty again. the nice man at my job was flirting with me this morning and a month ago i probably would have ignored him but hey nothing is wrong with a little flirting. we flirted then i went to lunch with a co-worker.
my clients were funny but not as interesting as the ones on monday are. that is just a priceless caseload on monday so i can't really judge anyone else against them. it's a good fun job and i'm enjoy it most of the time. when i don't then i try to sleep it off or daydream about getting drunk or having weird monkey sex in the office with Roaming Soldier. okay that's a strange description for it but just some intensely sweaty, damaging of furniture, ransacking a box of condoms sex. god i'm horny lol. and horny isn't necessarily a bad thing but it is when the object of your desire is so far away and preoccupied. however, he is thinking about me and about hurting me so i guess it all balances out. we have yet to compare notes on the lusty thoughts but if they remotely match up both of us will be beyond spaced out and happy.
i am missing being tied up a lot. i am missing being owned. it sort of feels like i've been going through withdrawal not referring to anyone as Master or Sir at least not in formal or serious way. i have jokingly said yes sir to RS often but it's just in the course of conversation and we haven't tried to advance things along that pathway yet. i think we're both eager to do so but it's not the right time. not sure when it will be but i am happily looking forward to seeing how we vibe together in that fashion. i am also, of course, not going too far afield because no matter how adorable we might find one another if his daughter doesn't like me so much then RS and i will just have to enjoy flirting. even if he wouldn't feel prone to back off (and i think he would), i definitely wouldn't feel comfortable because his daughter is still too young to be forced into relationships with people she doesn't like. as a teenager, you can usually just say well as long as dad/mom are happy i'm just gonna get over it eventually. at six, that doesn't work nearly as well. she's still young enough to like me and allow me a place in both her and his life. no need to worry about that at the moment though. for now i'll just await his next email and my next chance to smile profusely and then to send him back something equally silly in return.
slightly off tangent, since RS is away laboring at the nice base in basic training my naturally inclined letter writing self has remerged. i probably won't write often as we still are able to stay in contact via email but i am one of those folks that still likes writing letters. some will be short, some will be silly, some one will lamenting life and still others will be professing love and adoration---well those are the topics i tend to cover with friends and family when i write. i have no idea what i would send to RS but i'm sure silly and flirty will fall into place. he can't receive a whole lot for the next few weeks so we'll see what he is allowed and go from there. let's just say the first of six weeks is done. and both he, i as well as Night Owl and pillar will be overjoyed in five weeks. if for no other reason than i get to make a big meal and they get to eat it lol. speaking of which Night Owl is holding up well, at least to me, all things considered. she is being a good friend and only makes fun of me minimally when i do my random happy dance when i hear from RS lol. and she helps me process those random moments when Emperor is on my brain for what they are and then remind me that RS is there and waiting for what the future holds for us. all of us lol. i can't predict what that may be but i am really enjoying my life (and the flirting) right now.
see ya all later,
red
Labels: introspective, silly
.:Wednesday, March 08, 2006:.
-absentminded meanderings-okay i'm not sure how long this will be. the last few posts have been whoppers of output for me. i have never really am that verbose really. unless i'm having a nice naked daydream about someone and then my brain gets overactive and my fingers take on a mind of their own. i am a little bit tired but not so much so that i am lying comfortably in my bed and the rain is falling ever so gently on my windows. it makes me very calm and daydreamy. i enjoy the feeling.
i enjoy lots of things these days lol. primarily i'm enjoying being wanted, right now we are enjoying a slowly burgeoning friendship. each new communication makes me grin and be excited about possibilities. last night after i finally left blog land i got a quick communique from the Roaming Soldier. nothing too deep and nothing that would commit us to one another for the rest of our natural lives. just short and sweet and smile inducing. i'd say i was blushing but as green latern notes i'm entirely too dark to blush and someone notice lol, i'd have to redden at best. but i redden quite a bit as we talk to each other more. we have each other's attention for the moment and that is nice. plus Night Owl is polite enough to entertain my silliness and give me random information/or requested information lol.
RS is aware of the blog and is happy to be among the topics of discussion. of course he doesn't have time to read it and really i'm not ready for him to do so anyway. if he becomes He of course he will have access to the blog and may be joining in on the blogging then lol. or he may say honey turn off the laptop and come to bed---and don't forget the nipple clamps. and i would redden and scamper to shut this damn thing down so i can hand over the dreaded nipple clamps lol. ahh well that's enough for now. if you haven't done my johari window yet click the link on the right.
love ya
red
Labels: introspective, silly
.:Sunday, January 15, 2006:.
-confessions of a submissive mind-okay excuse this first part as it has nothing to do with the confession piece. i rarely talk about sports here because if i did i could ramble on indefinitely. i love sports, nearly all sports, they entertain me greatly and i love the raw aggression of men's professional sports because they are so big and freaking quick. if you are a fan of this team i so apologize but i am not because i detest their quarterback. okay enough with the preamble----ding dong the witch is dead, peyton manning can join his brother on an early vacation yet AGAIN. no matter how talented that man allegedly is he is NEVER able to get over that proverbial hump. and i don't have to hear about him anymore this playoffs as the greatest thing since sliced bread. he can kisseth my submissive asseth. wooo yeah!!!! okay all done i promise.
i can't necessarily call the stuff that is about to spew out a confession more than some random ponderings but i was tired of calling posts ramblings so here ya go. this could have just as easily been titled on being wanted but that would have been ripping off a thought of a friend and would have only captured part of what is on my mind today. it's where i will start though. i am an African American female submissive (technically slave) to my precious and wonderful Dom/Master Emperor. most of the time, life is good as far as i am concerned. the distance is not desired and i am more than willing to not make it a barrier between us. He guards His privacy, and thereby my own, very intensely which i appreciate. He makes me think of no one else in this context period. He's what i want and i am good with that. here's the piece i've been struggling with as you all know. when He's not around or easily accessible i periodically worry. not just because, as we've discussed, i'm not in my mind the person He would look for first but also because He has constant access to women more aligned with His preferences. women who like myself are submissive and looking for an acceptable Dom. i mean if He's intriguing to me why wouldn't He be intriguing to them? and if they are more in tune with His preferences why wouldn't He be tempted to if not just take one of them who are closer and a better fit? yes, paranoid on my part and yes more than likely has no basis in reality but the thoughts come until they are fought away. i'm not sure if He would ever say more to me about this than pet stop it but maybe He should. what would work i am definitely not sure but it may recenter my brain on the task at hand. ahh well, moving on because i am not going to belabor that point right now.
as i mentioned in yesterday's post, the world is attending to my need for an ego stroke. it's nice to be sought after by people. to be told you are attractive to them and that they want to do unspeakably wicked things to you. another few offers to bounce on the propositioners tongue. another few Doms wondering if i might consider leaving Emperor and become their dutiful pet. their first and only pet with a certainty of being collared and cherished. don't worry, they haven't officially done anything inappropriate as i am as of yet uncollared by Emperor even though i no desire to go anywhere just because that has not happened yet. anyway, the attention is nice but it's not coming from the only person that really matters to me so it's somewhat hollow as well.
i am just rambling at this point. i know that unless i am released i'll be right where i am now if you came looking for me in three months. maybe a little more secure in my submission but still right where i am now, missing Emperor and wanting to do all that i can to keep Him happy.
okay going to go watch cartoons now so see ya
red
You are Inara, the registerred Companion. you are
sexy, sensual and skilled, yet have trouble
admitting to your emotions. You swing both
ways.
Which Firefly character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
.:Tuesday, December 13, 2005:.
-apparently i'm the matrix lol-see the test below to explain the title. anyhoo, i went to bed happy (well mostly happy i would have been thrilled to be woken from a sound sleep and as i yawn i hear "a relax your tongue" as my gag is slid in) and i woke up happy and without much incident. i am terribly clumsy and have the bruises to show for it lol and i didn't go back to bed long just a few catnaps before i was dressed and out of the door. of course i hate morning traffic but i get off early today so what can ya do? my ten forgot her appointment now if my 11 will just cancel then i'll be free to do paperwork (or not) till i am scheduled to leave the office this afternoon. that probably means long lunch for red but woo woo lol.
Master Enigma gave me a lovely compliment on the last post in that he enjoyed the reality of my blog. i am much appreciative of that. but as i'm also quite silly allow me to make the following remarks as well. i have yet to master the art of not putting my true self forward. i can hold things back but the longer someone knows me the easier it is to see that who i am in one spot is who i am in another. basically i love reality and what i share with you and Master Enigma and Emperor is really just me. complete goofball, enamored of that aforementioned Emperor, who is a wee bit of a hypersexual pet, and has been accused of trying to kill a number of men because my appetite was out of control at one point. i'm better now, well mostly, and don't require nearly the amount of stimulation i used to. and what i like now is definitely about seven times more intense than what worked for me in the past. ok super girly moment in 5.4.3.2.1......
all right remember the nightmare? of course you do i've been talking about it for days now lol. well as i mentioned in last night's post i told Emperor about it and He was equally stunned that my imagination had taken us there figuratively. as i was recounting why i felt bad in the dream though i mentioned His son seeming to like me so much and He said something very mundane but it made me blush anyway (i'm blushing now as i type it lol). anyhoo, He said, "I can see My son liking you a lot. I like you a lot." or something to that effect and yes i blushed all over the place. after all the ick of the dream all i will really keep on my brain for as long as possible is that comment. i hope to NEVER see it played out in reality but yeah that made me grin a wee bit. we are making plans to see each other again, soon i hope, but again the coordination of schedules is a bear. i'd love to ring in the new year together but i'm on call and me Emperor and my mother does NOT sound like a good time at casa de