.:Saturday, December 29, 2007:.

-google's i feel lucky-

every now and then i love google. before when you typed in weapons of mass destruction and then hit i feel lucky instead of search a very humorous error page showed up. tonight in my insomnia fit i typed in marry me and i feel lucky. the first thing that came up was this graphic comic that is hilarious. it's not over so now i have to keep going back to check on what happens with Ana, Guy, Parker and Jany because i'm anal like that. hope you enjoy it and if you don't you only wasted 10 or so minutes of your life. you weren't doing too much with them anyway lol.

http://www.marrymemovie.com/

Labels: random, silly

Posted By red velvet at 1:37 AM

4 comments

.:Tuesday, December 25, 2007:.

-contradictions or why i like the cookie dough analogy-

i started to write this post two weeks ago but i got sleepy and then went to visit my absolutely stunning and wonderfully intelligent almost eight week old niece. yes i know it's impossible to know she's going to be wonderfully intelligent but let auntie red dream big for a minute. okay anyhoo. i am just getting around to the post today. i contemplated saving it and doing a why i'm thankful post but that seems trite right now and it can wait till i'm no longer on call and can drink like a fish. okay so where was i? oh yes, the delay has just been one of those things with me as of late. things aren't getting done on a miraculous schedule but they are getting done. so here we go with what is sure to be a rambling post with likely little to no bdsm references so if you keep reading just know that you have been warned.

so to start with the title is way too long i know. but it makes sense in light of what is on my mind so bear with me. i know i've talked about it before here and others have elsewhere about the inherent contradictions there are in submission for some women, well for most women. even those who are submissive by nature still have their moments where they are fully in control of their lives and potentially the lives of others but at the end of the day they relinquish that control happily to someone else. if He were home i'd be one of those women. 8 to 5 life almost in total opposition the multitude of hours that surround it. no one that knows the strictly vanilla side of me would ever believe you if you sat down with them and said oh by the way red is a nice subbie girl who likes to get spanked. and honestly if i wasn't me i'd be right there in disbelief with them. i think this is why i have readily identified with women who seemed to be somewhat contradictory in presentation. women who are by all outward appearances very strong, in charge of their lives and sensuality/sexuality but seem to be waiting for something else or someone else to share the load with.

take the person who the cookie dough analogy originated with, buffy summers lol. i'm sure you are going what, isn't that buffy from buffy the vampire slayer? why yes it is. it was a random conversation toward the end of the show between buffy and angel. there is that inevitable moment whenever they are together that the tug starts up again and for a minute we can just hope they can figure out how to be really happy with each other without him going all crazy stalker vampire again. she just as easily could have said my job sucks and until it's over we can't be together to angel who as we know would still be smoking hot whenever that was lol but she didn't. instead she told him that she was still cookie dough and she wasn't done baking yet. she needed some time on her own before she could even daydream about angel with warm fuzzy thoughts again. it's a nice way to say i still have a load to carry that i'm not ready to share with you yet. instead he comes in and gives her the method to save herself and mostly everyone around her and leaves as he always does. and i can say that made me ache a little bit when i saw it because i could totally relate to being cookie dough because i didn't really understand why i never trusted the men around me to bake me as it were lol. i didn't trust them to appreciate the cookie dough that was me. instead i went about being very focused, very buffy-esque in my pursuit of me and only being half satisfied with it. to her credit, even when they have been thoroughly warped, sarah michelle gellar has played some pretty kick ass women on screen and has seemed to find someone that compliments her well privately. i love her and freddie together but please no more movies together. if you want to read the full quote scroll to the end of this post. thanks to Much Ado about Buffy the Vampire Slayer for having it up.

as i was prepping this i also thought about the mickey mouse club's former member now blond retro diva with the best pipes. i mean who else other than christina aguilera could have sung it's a man's world and done it immeasurable justice? i remember when christina and britney hit the airwaves and prayed for their quick demise from the pop world. i mean i really didn't need anymore sugary sweet blonds singing for me. especially when one couldn't sing. thankfully christina didn't go away, she evolved and got better writers and let her voice come through. stripped is one of my favorite albums ever and back to basics is equally lovely at times. she caught a lot of flack for that whole X-tina thing and i think she handled it well. yes she also dated a back up dancer but unlike the talent challenged peers that did the same coughjlocoughcoughbritneycough she didn't marry him or heaven forbid have babies with him. she moved on in private (thank heavens) mostly and found the man of her dreams, married him and with whom she is expecting (haven't heard if the kid came yet) her first child with. that's 1 marriage and 1 baby folks. i know i of all people shouldn't be sounding prudish but waiting until you are ready is such a wonderful thing. rebound marriages should be outlawed. but that's off tangent. she hasn't tried to become an actress, is putting out consistently good music and is well respected for her talent. yeah she is a cutie pie but she does that because she wants to not to mask her inadequacies in the studio. she's the vocal buffy equivalent but she also seems to have kept most of her private life private. she seems to happily be her husband's compliment even though in most circles no one knew his name before they said i do.

by no means am i saying that either of the women are submissive, i just see the contradiction in them that i see in lots of strong women who struggle to find that balance, the cookie baker if you will, for themselves. at the time it felt like i was being a traitor to the gender if i acknowledged the type of man i wanted in my life. that it somehow meant i had to do less in that day to day world if i wanted the right chef to come along and whip the dough into shape (pun fully intended). i struggled with that for years before i was ready to give up all the while finding the strength i saw in other women as empowering and kinda sexy lol. for much of the three decades i've been floating around the earth i've been cookie dough. i haven't completely lost my doughy consistency because there is no one here to pull me out of the oven when i'm nice and golden brown. but hopefully He will be soon and then He can tell you what kind of cookie i taste like (pun fully intended again).


beyond telling you what flavor of cookie i am i have decided some other things for 2008. i am not making resolutions this year. i never keep them unless the resolution is to ignore them. after my last bit of licensing stuff i am committed to a full out makeover of my mindset, my physical appearance and personal relationships. i am taking care of myself next year or i will die trying. i'm too young to be at my current weight. i'm too young to not be nurturing my friendships better and i'm entirely too young to not make sure everything is in good working order. i'll update you randomly about how that is going. hope you all are having a merry christmas, had a happy hanukkah, will have a happy kwanzaa and that something wonderful happens to you before your breaks are over.

Full Quote: "I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then... that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done."
~Chosen

Labels: introspective, random, update

Posted By red velvet at 5:22 PM

2 comments

-merry christmas lol-

i will post something with more substance later

Labels: silly, videos

Posted By red velvet at 1:32 AM

0 comments

.:Thursday, December 20, 2007:.

-sugar while you wait-

sorry for the delay, been enjoying my vacation

The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #111? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks

Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray

"Visibility on our own terms and the ability to uses our voices (and other mediums of expression) are key to the progress of sex worker's rights."

So Many Men, So Few Sluts

"Everyone wants to avoid generalizations about men and women, yet they're too powerful to ignore."

This Time

"She had That Look, and despite my earlier fatigue, I knew what was coming."

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Hombre Magazine's Left Handed Ads

Editor's Choice

Love in an Elevator

See also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sex Advice

The Everything Guide To Bras
Giving a woman a pedicure
Sex Tips for "Married Old Guys" - How to Keep Your Sex Life Hot, Even Without Erections!
Ten Things I've Learned abut Sex #3: Leave Your Clothing on a Pile

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Different Level of Consciousness
Intimacy
Jodie Foster, a lesbian
Loved endlessly...
Non-anniversary, uncelebration
Unwanted sexual experiences from a new angle; Men have needs too!
Where Do I Come (In)?

Sex & Politics

Strippers and libertarianism

BDSM & Fetish

Dinner and a Menage' a Trois
Dominating her, er again part2
A Little Restraint
More from my last visit (pt. 2)
My First Erotic Awakening Massage
One Hell Of First Date
Thoughts...
V is for Vicious Ardor

Sex Work

Whip Me, Beat Me --And Call It Girlfriend Experience

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Featured Design: Pro-Porn
Fuck The Cheerleader, Fuck The World. (Hogtied.com, Forced Orgasms, Cheerleader)
Gift Guide #2
Intern Sex Toy Review - Saturn Cockring
Interview with Greta Christina about hiring a professional submissive
Pinky & Jade at Pinkys House (Inside Dacia's Dirty Mind)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Catalina loves Turning 36
Christmas Tree HNT
Fingers
Foreplay
I Speak Roughly, Part 2: RBU
It's
The Kiss: All Through The Night.
The Limitations of Terminology
Patience Rewarded
The Shower - Part One
Trying on Shoes (a fantasy)
Women Dancing

Sex Poetry

While sleeping

NSFW Pics & Videos

Danni's Friends in Daring Nude Galleries
Janelle Elson - Stairway To Janelle
Pornsaint Niya Yu

Sex Humor

Brunch Stories 2-The Strange Folks On Craigslist
Condom Use

Labels: smut, sugasm

Posted By red velvet at 12:19 AM

2 comments

.:Tuesday, December 04, 2007:.

-V is for Vicious Ardor-

she wanted to hate Him. she wanted to rue the ground He walked on. she didn't want His words to be remotely comforting to her. However, every trace of His fingers on her skin was making her forget why she was upset. He had been gone far too long and she was in desperate need of what He was offering her. but still her mind raged against itself. How dare He assume things were okay? How dare He be restraining her with the soft velvet bindings He managed to find somewhere? How dare He make her wait? It wasn't fair for Him to be able to do this to her. she wanted to hurt Him but He hurt her instead.

He saw the look on her face. It wasn't entirely unexpected. He hadn't met a little girl yet that liked to be left to their own devices for protracted periods of time. For a while she was okay, she adored Him without pause. she told Him naughty things that made Him smile. Now she wanted Him to feel lonely. she crawled out of His lap earlier like an insolent child. she forgot she was angry and kissed Him deeply before remembering and biting His lip. Had no one been around she would have had a red bottom hours ago but she was saved by the crowd. They had all left now and He was taking His time binding her ankles to the bed. He looked in her eyes as He stretched her arms above her head and bound her wrists together much tighter than He might normally do. Yes He had been away but she should know better. When the rope tightened around the slat and she was stretched out like she was on a rack, she began to struggle. The rope felt nice but she didn't want to give in that easily.

The brat and the baby were arguing with each other again. One wanted to give up and give in and just take what was coming. The other stated quite plainly that if she got loose she was going to make Him pay. Neither side had much of a choice. While the debate continued, something made her reconnect to reality. It was His blade. It was dragging down her skin and not in its usual manner. she felt the tip of the blade criss crossing her thighs and she froze. That didn't prevent the blade from digging deeper into her skin. It followed no apparent pattern other than to center her attention on where it might go next. she would have scratches in the morning damn it was the last thought uttered by her inner brat. He dug deeper than He intended and drew a tiny bit of blood. He stopped, walked away and came back with a cotton ball that had be doused in hydrogen peroxide. He pressed it against the tiny wound and watched her wince. He threw them away and then sat next to her again. His fingertips caressed her face and before she could sigh deeply He slapped her so hard that her whole body shook. she cried out and when He cocked His head to look at her again she only said more.

The next slap made her toes curl and she whimpered. It wasn't as jarring as the first but it fed the masochist in her. her head rolled and then sank into the pillow pushing her face up to meet the next strike. He relaxed a bit but still slapped her as hard as He could without leaving a bruise. When He noticed a cut on her bottom lip He took off His wedding band before He cut another part of her face. He weighed His options and propped pillows under her lower back. she was nearly bowed out at this point, arched just enough to make her nipples tantalizing. He grabbed the fat black tipped clamps and placed them on each exposed bud. her body was relaxing into the pain until He carefully applied clothespins to each of her breasts. One for each month they had been apart so her breasts looked like flowers when He was done. He admired His work and fingered a flogger while tears escaped her eyes. He spanked the exposed flesh and watched her limbs jerk around in response. At least one of her ankles would be swollen in the morning if she kept up like this. He untied her legs and then removed her tie from the bed frame. she was lifted carefully to her feet before He threaded her wrist ropes through door restraints. Deep purple indentations were forming around the pins which intrigued Him but He was more concerned with spanking her again.

The belt cut into her back and the smell of leather made her orgasm. It wrapped around and hit her stomach. It made tiny welts when it hit the same area too many times and she still wouldn't beg Him to stop. He wouldn't have anyway but He admired her resolve. He abandoned the belt for the paddle she had crafted for Him. He spanked her as hard and fast as He could for about five minutes and noticed He was starting to sweat a bit. He walked away and left her prone while He rested. He pressed her warmed ass into the door and started removing the clips from her breasts. The blood rushed back into them bit by bit and her mouth locked into a scream of pain. No sound came out though and He chuckled. He picked her up and slid her down on His dick. He didn't try to comfort her. He was trying to abuse her as much as He could. He fucked her hard and bit into her swollen breasts. He bit into her neck and didn't stop until He broke the skin in multiple places. He grabbed her hair and yanked her head back. her eyes snapped open and He looked into them to see if the hatred was gone. To His surprise it hadn't gone anywhere but it had blended into that dreamy look of the woman that loved Him. He let her head go and it rolled to nuzzle into His neck while her arms dangled above her. He kissed her forehead and thrust into her like He'd never be allowed inside of her again until He came and she shuddered. He let her rest against Him and untied her arms. He let her rest on the bed and then covered her up while He went to shower. By the time He came out, she was sound asleep. He wrapped her in His arms and was glad that for the moment His little girl was His again.

Labels: alphabet game, bdsm, Daddy, smut

Posted By red velvet at 10:13 PM

3 comments